July 22, 2004

Opening night at Hairspray in Los Angeles was a bit of a revelation. I hadn't seen the show before, though I had the opportunity to listen to the soundtrack.

What I didn't realize was that this is one of those unique shows that is made up of true diva roles. I don't know that there have been as many diva roles in any show I can recall. I counted no less than seven star roles in this thing. The lead, as it was in the movie, is the small, heavy girl with enough energy to light a city block. Her mother, played in the movie by Divine and on Broadway by Harvey Fierstein, is a role loaded with scene-stealers and big moments. The third super diva is Motor Mouth Mabel, played in the film by Ruth Brown, who has two huge songs and is given the top topper spot in the big closing number.

But that just starts things rolling. The Velma Von Tussle role, originated in the film by Debbie Harry and by Linda Hart on Broadway, is much bigger in this show and is wide open for a big, big performance. Amber Von Tussle, who had a terrific role in the film (where she was played by Colleen Fitzpatrick, who turned into pop singer Vitamin C) also gets to shine here. And Penny Pingleton, played in the movie by Leslie Ann Powers in her only movie role ever, is given more to work with here and is a star turn.

The guys don't quite have as much to do. But Seaweed, the black male lead of the show, is a great role in the musical, with big dance numbers and a number of songs to work. And Link Larkin, the wanna-be Elvis of the show, played by Michael St. Gerard in the film, also gets enough chances to sing that this role in a film could be a career maker.

Properly cast and directed, Hairspray: The Movie Musical will be bigger than Chicago, with a real chance of being the Grease of this generation. Hairspray doesn't have the big ballads of Grease, but the up numbers are every bit as good, if not better. There are no less than three songs that you leave humming as you exit the theater, fighting off the urge to dance wildly on Hollywood Boulevard. It is, without question, a homerun of a show.

But what was missing from some of these roles in L.A. and apparently was not a problem in New York, is the full group of divas. This show can become an unmitigated movie legend if every role is powerfully cast.

The first big job is to pick a director. It cannot be John Waters. I love the guy, but he's not the right director for this. As I sat in the theater, I debated with myself. Do you look for a director who can create the 1950s gloss that the stage show has or do you get a director who can create this hyper-reality in a realistic space. It is one of the big obstacles of making movies out of Broadway musicals. And in the end, I came up with one answer and one answer only. Spike Jonze is THE director for this film.

There are other directors out there, but Jonze is the only one who has the experience with music video and with "straight" film, the sense of humor, the ability to make high gloss images and rough images with equal aplomb, and has the mindset to explore innovative visual ideas of which the musical production makes such good use.

I was floating on the idea, because at first I kept thinking that they should hire someone who likes to work in shiny imagery. It could look like it was shot in a Hollywood soundstage and get away with it. But there is one gag, used a few times, where the back wall lights up from behind to show singer/dancers as a kind of Greek chorus. It's a wonderful image. And I thought, "Who would make an idea like that come to life in a smart way on a realistic set?" And Spike was the guy.

As for the roles in the show, think diva, diva, diva, diva, diva….

Marissa Janet Winokur must play Tracy Turnblad in the movie. It's remarkable enough that they found someone who had the physical attributes and energy of young Rikki Lake. To find another one… this girl has the magic it. And Harvey Fierstein is required by law to play Edna Turnblad. He is an icon and can't be replaced by anyone. It will be fascinating to see in the future how different interpretations of the role go. Someday, a woman may even play this woman. But the only person who could ever top Fierstein in this role - even without seeing him, I heard his voice throughout - is Divine, who sadly has passed on.

The scene stealer of the show and an actress who is probably going to make her way to the movies or television before long is Sandra Denise, who plays Tracy's sidekick, Penny Pingleton. This actress has that same thing that Judy Greer and Carol Burnett brought to the game. She is a consummate performer, who gives a performance that seems completely improvisatory yet is, you realize after a while, absolutely planned out, beat by beat. I don't know if there is a better Penny Pingleton out there. Ms. Denise didn't originate or play the role on Broadway, so maybe there is. But once she starts working in Los Angeles, she may become the movies' or TV's next great second banana.

Motormouth Mabel screams Patti LaBelle to me. Motormouth is an aging diva that can still bring down the house. Aretha is the best, but she can't lipsync and she is too much of a weaving singer. I think Mabel needs to be more of a straight liner of a stylist. Whitney Houston in another 20 years.

But speaking of Whitney, she and maybe Mariah and, who knows, maybe Fantasia Barrino would have people wondering why they were willing to take small roles, but would blow us all away as the three-girl "Supreme" style chorus that turns up during the show.

Velma and Amber Van Tussle are the blonde nightmares of the story and while the route so far has been gaunt, gaunt, gaunt, the career-topping opportunity for Jennifer Coolidge should be too much for the filmmakers to resist. Coolidge would have to slim down to her arrogant, sexy weight to make it perfect. But with some actual support for a change, it could be a Supporting Actress performance for an actress who carries far too much weight on her own in movie after movie. Amber is a little harder to deal with. She probably needs to be someone brand new. But the role would be a hoot for a young actress like Rachel McAdams, even though I personally am unsure whether McAdams should be taking supporting roles. (Hugh Jackman turned down Chicago because it was the third lead and has had second thoughts about it since.)

Seaweed and Link… well, there are obvious movie choices… like Usher and Justin Timberlake. But you kind of hate to see the opportunity wasted like that. The actors should fit the movie more than the movie reach for stars. But they do need to be "the right guys."

I left out the littlest diva… Little Inez is a small girl with a giant voice. She will be unforgettable after this film, whoever she is.

And Wilbur Turnblad, Tracy's dad and Edna's husband, is a nice role with a big highlighted song with Edna. I was thinking Dustin Hoffman, who is probably a little too old and Matthew Broderick, who is a little too young. The role requires a small man with a big heart and a loving smile.

The big musical push since Chicago hasn't happened with the speed many expected. But there should be a few put up on their movie feet in the next two years, including The Producers, which is not a diva musical. Hairspray can be among the most successful and most beloved ever.

READER OF THE DAY: JOEY!!! writes: "Yeah, "Superman" is a pretty boring character, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the stories are. There's more than 50 years of material, and some of it is excellent. Bryan Singer (like Sam Raimi) took actual stories from the comics and translated them into feature films. My suggestion would be Allan Moore and Curt Swan's excellent "Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow," Superman's final pre-Crisis story from Superman #423 and Action Comics #583.

I think Bryan Singer will do a good job with "Superman," it'll probably be a high-quality film that respects the character (unlike most upcoming WB films based on DC Comics, like "Catwoman," "Constantine," and now, "Green Lantern"). I would have liked it if Michael Bay made it, the movie would be bigger, more epic, and more iconic, but it probably wouldn't be as good.

As for "X-Men 3," please don't mention Paul W.S. Anderson or Roland Emmerich. I don't want you giving Fox any ideas. Joe Carnahan would be an interesting choice, as would Alex Proyas.

I have to respond to "it could be the comic book movie Frank Miller lovers have always dreamt." It's in the works, and it's called "Sin City."

I'm very impressed that you know who Frank Miller is. If you've read "The Dark Knight Returns," "Batman: Year One," and "Elektra: Assassin," you rock my world. Bonus if you've read any of his "Sin City" yarns.

FoxNews is definitely a right-wing network, but it should be acknowledged that there are several networks that are left-leaning (though I don't think ALL media is liberal). News media in general has gone to shit. Seriously, TV news may have been stale in the old days, but it was also respected. I miss Walter Cronkite.

By the way, I vehemently disagree with "OH SO YOUNG." Your column is refreshingly non-Hollywood, and you're far from a sellout because you say what you say, despite the popular opinion at the time. And fuck him for being anti-Semitic.

Saw you on some VH-1 special. You came off like a cool guy, but you shoulda buttoned the shirt all the way up. You were a medallion short of looking like Robin Williams in "The Birdcage."

E ME: I hope Sin City ends up being greatness. We will see. I have read all of Frank Miller. And my chest hair… oy!