July 26, 2002

The Country Bears
(Walt Disney) Rated G
Release Date - July 26, 2002

There was a brilliant idea in a Disney office when someone pitched the concept for The Country Bears.  Here is a company franchise that is exclusively based on a live show at the two Disney theme parks.  What is the story?  Well, what if we did The Blues Brothers, except with country music and bears?  It might sound wacky at first, but think about it.  The blues plays to an older audience, but the car wrecks, Belushi and celebrity musical appearances made it cool enough for older teens.  Country music is a family thing.  The adults won’t be put off by the “family entertainment” elements and the kid won’t be put off by the music, because they have the bears.  Makes sense to me.

The story is cellophane-close to The Blues Brothers.  True believers go on the road to get the band back together in order to save a building from being demolished.  (In The Blues Brothers, it was an orphanage.  Here, it’s The Country Bear Hall.)   The ringleader is a little kid/bear, who is seeking his true self after being adopted and raised by a family of humans.  (That whole element is kind of odd and uncomfortable, as the brother sees that Beary is obviously not human, but everyone else pretends he is.  There is cruelty in there somewhere, but it’s hard to decide whether it’s the brother, who is vying for his parents’ love, or the parents, who hide the boy/bear’s origins long beyond what seems reasonable in this day and age… is that really funny?)  The boy/bear, accompanied by the roadie/drummer who’s been living in the tour bus for years, and the band’s old manager, go from location to location, gathering members of the band. 

Like The Blues Brothers, band members can be found at: a fancy restaurant (in this case a country club), a roadside diner and a rundown bar that has surprisingly good bands playing.  The group then has to get back to the hall in time to do a show and get the money to the bad guy in the nick of time.  

The problem with The Country Bears is in its execution.  I don’t know what happened as the film developed, but the country stars are not, for the most part, iconic.  A few big names sing as bears and when that happens, the film might point it out.  But what percentage of the audience will laugh at the sight of Bonnie Raitt and Don Henley without some clearer suggestion of who they are.  I guess it’s kind of like Frank Oz as the jail clerk in The Blues Brothers.  But they didn’t get the Cab Calloways or the Trisha Yearwoods of the world as the known quantities.

My first reaction to the film was to abuse it for using old technology for the bears… basically, less sophisticated versions of the animatronic head used in Labyrinth 16 years ago.  But on reflection, I think it may be a good fit.  The bears in the Jamboree are animatronic and this is, in most ways, an old-fashioned movie. 

The other film The Country Bears is reminiscent of is The Muppet Movie, particularly in how they use their name actors.  Christopher Walken is “The Bad Guy.”  Unfortunately, he never really dances.  Queen Latifah is A Bar Owner.  Unfortunately, she never sings.  Elton John is The Superstar Cameo.  Unfortunately, he never sings.  Daryl “Chill” Mitchell and Diedrich Badder are The Funny Cops.  They are good.  But not all that famous.  I assume that Jennifer Paige has some sort of following.  And she sings.  But I didn’t recognize her as anything more than a cute blonde who could sing.  (Not surprisingly, she has a recording contract with Disney’s Hollywood Records.)   Really, the only famous act that gets to play is Brian Setzer… and he’s known for big band and rock, not country.

Perhaps Disney couldn’t get record labels, theoretically in competition with Hollywood Records and, through conglomeration, in direct competition with a variety of Disney arms to allow their acts to appear in this film.  But that doesn’t make a lot of sense.  Maybe the studio thought they had enough juice in the Bears franchise alone and didn’t want to spend the money to make this an all-star movie. 

I don’t know.  But what I do know is that The Country Bears wastes an exceptionally good idea.  A country music age-crossover movie seems viable.  But instead, we get a movie that doesn’t really deliver for country music fans or for family audiences, which are better off, seems to me, with Stuart Little, which has gotten praise from a vast majority of the critics out there.