Geena
Davis is in talks to be first on board Disney's live-action version
of the Japanese TV anime, Sailor Moon. The show is about teenage
girls with super powers and enormous eyes, leaving Davis to the role
of evil Queen Beryl, who is trying to destroy the earth. The Hot
Button suggests a cast of actresses who can still pretend to be
teens and who have eyes so large that they appear to be human incarnations
of velvet paintings of unhappy clowns and orphans: Winona Ryder,
Heather Graham, Elizabeth Shue during her The Saint period,
and the late, great Marty Feldman, resurrected and in drag for
this important cinematic acheivement.
O.J. Simpson prosecutor Christopher Darden got married
last week to Rysher Entertainment exec Marcia Carter. Within
hours of the nuptials, Darden was claiming that the failure of such
Rysher films as A Smile Like Yours, The Evening Star, White Man's
Burden, Dear God and Turbulance (this is the short list,
folks!) was the responsibility of O.J. Simpson. When reminded
that Simpson was in court while these films were developed, Darden blamed
Judge Ito. He then claimed that releasing studio Paramount was playing
the Dud Card, when they released the films in theaters instead of prisons.
It's OK, Chris. It's over man! You can stop making excuses.
First Joe Eszterhas' poison pen letter to Hollywood, Alan
Smithee: Burn Hollywood Burn, had its very own director, Arthur
Hiller, yank his name off the film, replaced by the traditional
"I-Don't-Want-To-Be-Associated- With-This-Crap" psuedonym, Alan Smithee.
Now, it's been pushed by distributor Disney all the way until next March,
and even then, is scheduled for just a 20-city test release. Irony rears
its ugly head, as the film about getting screwed in Hollywood gets screwed
for the most traditional reason in Hollywood; the film stinks and no
one wants to see it.
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