Roman
Catholics in Chile are organizing a boycott against film festival screenings
of Abel Ferrara's Black Out because of its explicit lesbian
sex scenes featuring German Ÿber-model Claudia Schiffer. Jewish-American
groups are also upset that the film helps us imagine the nausea-provoking,
reality (I guess) of the sexual relationship between Schiffer and
David Copperfield (nee' Kotkin). Oy!
"Shall Ve Kill? (dum-dum-dum) Shall ve blow them to bits-kies? Shall
ve bomb? (dum-dum-dum) Ve can haff lots of fun, ya, if ve only had a
gun-ya. Shall ve kill? Shall ve kill? Shall ve kill?" For those of you
whose parents never took you to dinner theater, that's "Shall We Dance"
from the musical The King & I, as performed by Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"Huh?," you say? The rumor around Broadway is that the Austrian Alp
is going to be hitting the boards in a Broadway revival of the show
that made Yul Brenner's head famous. Another hit: "Getting to
Broadway, trying to sing songs in English. Getting no retakes, working
almost for free. Getting to Broadway, playing a lost King, It's nat'ral,
Cause I am actual', A Kennedy."
Dan Haggerty is back in Grizzly Mountain, which hits theaters
on Oct. 17. Well, part of him. In a story more grizzly than his most
famous character's name, or his beard after three bowls of vegetable
soup, Dan explains where he's been. "Three and one-half years ago, I'm
on my motorcycle and I'm 1,000 feet from pulling into the driveway when
in front of me a van makes a u-turn. Next thing I knew, I'm wedged underneath
the van, and it tore both of my legs off, and broke my hips." Ouch!
Haggerty credits his recovery to 50,000 pieces of fan mail, including
a note from the Pope. In the great Hollywood tradition, divorce is the
ultimate punchline. "I'd rather this pain then the pain I went through
married to my first wife." Ba-dum-dum! Take my legs, please!
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