Friday, 8 May 1998

WEEKEND PREVIEW
The first comet is on the way, but I don't expect it to rock the world. However, Deep Impact only needs to make medium impact to take the top spot. I'm estimating a $15 million opening for President Morgan Freeman and company. I'm guessing there will be people who will have the buzz around He Got Game in their ears and head to check it out between playoff games this weekend. (Second place with a 17 percent drop to $6.3 million.) Every time you hear a bell, someone is going to see City of Angels. I haven't gotten one letter from anyone who really loved this film, yet it's holding up pretty damned well. In its fifth weekend, it should still stay in the top three with a 30 percent drop to $4.6 million. Close behind, New Line is pitching Woo with the currently very pregnant Jada Pinkett Smith. Yes, that's her name now. It's in her Will. (Will! Get it? Will Smith! She's married to Will Smith! OK, so it wasn't funny. What's your point?!) Look for Woo to rack up $4.5 million in fourth place. And closing out the Top Five, Les Misérables outlasts The Big Hit, dropping just 35 percent to $3.3 million.

Fighting for the sixth and seventh spots should be The Spice Boys (aka the cast of The Big Hit) vs. The Spice Boy (leo, Leo, LEO!!!), as Titanic holds tight and The Big Hit drops deeply, both with around $3.2 million. Paulie the parrot should squawk his way into eighth, dropping just 20 percent again to $3 million. In ninth, it's Patrick Swayze in drag as a gay trucker who has to fight for his life. Oops! My mistake. It's just that the title, Black Dog, has almost as little meaning as To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar. (If they wait any longer to do a Dirty Dancing sequel, it will have to be called Dirty Depends Dancing.) I see Black Dog as the big dropper of the week: 50 percent, to $2.4 million. Closing out the Top 10, either The Object of My Affection or Lost In Space will survive one last week on the list by staying just above $2.1 million. We'll know which one stays and which one goes on Monday.

THE GOOD: Godzilla will be taking over Madison Square Garden for its premiere.

THE BAD: The last film to open at MSG was Private Parts. It opened to less than $15 million. Not that I'm superstitious.

THE UGLY: If you think Black Dog is more like what you find on your shoe after a dog has been walked, imagine if the original casting had stayed in place. It could have been Black Dog, starring Kevin "Hercules" Sorbo. Yuck!

THE CONTEST: The official sponsor this week is New line's Woo. But the person who scores highest in his or her picks will also receive the official flight shirt from Deep Impact. (You know, the blue polo shirt with the red collar that Robert Duvall and his crew wear.)

THREE MOVIES EQUAL: The Object of My Affection + The Big Hit + Deep Impact = The Big Object of My Affection Has A Deep Impact. Marky Mark revives his role as Dirk Diggler in this pornographic comedy about a gay porn star who knocks up a TV actress with a really neat haircut (Jennifer Aniston) right before an asteroid hits earth. With Robert Duvall as Cleat, the guy who coaches Dirk on having relations with members of the opposite sex, and Morgan Freeman as the only actor self-reflective enough to be embarrassed by having accepted a multi-million paycheck for being in this piece of crap.

JUST WONDERING: What's up with Daisy von Scherler Mayer's name? When she did Party Girl, she used the whole thing. As director of Woo, she's suddenly Daisy V.S. Mayer. And in the Sony trailer for Madeline (due out July 24), she's just plain old Daisy Mayer. I guess she'll eventually be known as "The Director Formerly Known As..." and have a flower symbol as a name.

BAD AD WATCH: OK, so you have a low-profile foreign film that you want to be a sexy sell. But the MPAA decides not to make too big a fight about it and pulls its NC-17 rating and gives you the R you claimed you wanted. How will your audience know that this is really a steamy flick? Miramax has the following above their ad for Artemisia: "Miramax Films thanks the MPAA for overturning the NC-17 rating and allowing Artemisia to be seen in its intended form, upholding the artistic integrity of this groundbreaking film." They apparently didn't have room to add, "And the really hot foreign babe in the photo is naked a lot, too."

READER OF THE DAY: Chris wrote: "I think Paul Wunder and friends have two games they love to play and two they don't. The two they do play are the 'What've you been smoking game?' or the drug-like 'moving rush' experience thing ('the roller-coaster ride of your life' or 'a wild, fun ride' or 'a smart, hip adrenaline rush') and the 'I know you liked that movie, but this one is 10 times better' game. ('The best Batman ever! More action! More special special effects! More humor! More everything!' By the way, what's a special special effect?)

"The two they don't play are 'The Surprise Game' -- no (top 10) movie ever surprises Ron Brewington, Susan Granger or Bobbie Wygant of KXAS-TV. Ever hear Paul Wunder say 'surprisingly funny' or 'a rare treat!'? Of course it ain't a RARE TREAT! Because every movie is the best movie ever to him -- or the 'Top 10 List' Game. (These no-namers can't make a 10 list out of the 162 movies they gave four stars to.)

"And the award for false advertising goes to D3: The Mighty Ducks, which proclaims on its video clamshell package '"The quack attack is back!," says USA Today.' USA Today ACTUALLY gave the movie a dismal two stars and said 'the quack attack is back, you may want to duck.' "

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E ME: You can find more of your letters posted on our bulletin boards (a.k.a. Discussion Forums) in Dave's Green Room. It will take a minute to register, but once you do you will have access not only to the bulletin boards, but to live chat with me in weeks to come. Ooooh! Ain't that exciting.

Let's hear about your movie-going plans for the weekend. Do you care about seeing Deep Impact or will you wait for Asteroids 2 (aka Armeggeddon)? Will you see Woo in September (think Frankie Valli) or do you want to see it before the video comes out?