The Hot Button by David Poland

Monday, 13 July 1998

WEEKEND WRAP-UP

This is the kind of weekend after which guys like me should probably just shut up. But what fun would that be? There's not a lot to say about the success of Lethal Weapon 4. Warner Bros. rushed the film through development and into production on a short schedule, determined to hit its July 10 mark to fill the troubled studio's summer "event" void once they decided that they didn't really believe in The Avengers (a fact they've been telegraphing to the media for months) and realized they (Mr. Daly and Mr. Semel) might not survive another bad summer. And it worked. Brilliantly. Will the film hold up? Who knows? But the heat is off the WB for the moment.
Meanwhile, Armageddon had one of those weekends that just leaves me shaking my head. The film dropped just 37 percent overall for the three days, falling 48 percent on Friday, 21 percent on Saturday and 40 percent (based on the Disney estimate) on Sunday. These jumpy percentages may just be a natural correction (despite my B.S. meter going wild) since last Saturday was the 4th of July, causing the box office to dip that day. That didn't stop Disney from throwing Daily Variety the Bizarre Stat Of The Week, and I quote, Armageddon "enjoyed a strong 27 percent jump in sales from Friday to Saturday." (Fox, feeling no need to spin, didn't bother to tell reporters that Dr. Dolittle jumped "a strong" 52 percent from Friday to Saturday.) Also, Armageddon ended its second weekend with $100,000 more in its estimated coffers than was in Godzilla's two-weekend take. Do we think that is a coincidence? Armageddon may fall back behind Godzilla's pace as final numbers are released today. (Disney's Sunday estimate was lowered more than $500,000 last weekend.) No, this is not some grand conspiracy that I've got racing in my head. It's the subtle shading that can make all the difference in how the media reports this story. Less than a 40 percent drop, more than a 40 percent drop. Doing better than Godzilla, doing worse than Godzilla. Most people don't get further than the headlines, so make sure the headlines are in your favor. That's the game.
The other newcomer was Small Soldiers, which pulled in $14.5 million for third place. I'd say the opening is just about right, and the strength of the film's legs will become apparent (or not) next weekend. It hasn't been a big story in the media yet, but this summer has been really good for kids' films, with Dr. Dolittle (fourth place with $12.8 million), Mulan (fifth place with $7 million), newcomer Madeline (a soft $6.6 million sixth place finish that was still better than many expected) and Small Soldiers pulling in altogether more than $41 million this weekend and, as a group, grossing more than $200 million domestic so far.
The final four could all switch positions by the release of final numbers today. The high estimater was The Truman Show with $3.73 million and the low was Six Days, Seven Nights with $3.5 million. The X-Files was in the middle (with $3.7 million), tied with Out of Sight, which will gross less than any of the other four films in this bracket. Which is a horrible irony, considering that it's the best of the lot. And I'll add this. People have loved Truman and The X-Files and even Armageddon, but there have been others who have strongly disagreed. I haven't seen one letter saying anything bad about Out of Sight. Not one. So, if you haven't shelled out to see it, do it now while it's still on some good multiplex screens.
THE GOOD: Another film that looks like it may outgross Out of Sight, though not quite as dramatically, is Everest, the IMAX smash-hit mountain movie that was actually No. 11 in last weekend's box office race, adding another $1.1 million for a $24.6 18-week total. With numbers like that, it may not be long before they make a "real" movie in the monumental format whose total screen count is growing steadily.
MORE GOOD: Caught Halloween: H20 on Saturday night. If you love the original Halloween, this film will not disappoint. Sure, there's plenty of room for criticism, but what's the point? It's a horror movie, for God's sake. (More tomorrow.)
THE BAD: Disney spun some more on Friday, this time attacking critics directly. From the mouth of Jerry Bruckheimer ("they" are the critics): "I made a different picture than the one they saw -- I made a real entertaining popcorn movie, and they didn't get that. The same critic who likes My Dinner with Andre is not going to have the same response to Armageddon. I make popular entertainment. If critics don't like popular entertainment, they shouldn't be reviewing it. Critics who review classical music and opera don't review popular music, do they?" Uhhhhh, wrong! I really enjoyed Bruckheimer's last two action epics, Con Air and The Rock. But, I also like My Dinner with Andre. And two guys who work under the Disney banner, Siskel and Ebert, are similarly flexible. Both loved Andre, yes. But both gave "thumbs up" to Con Air. And Siskel, who gave "thumbs down" to The Rock, gave "thumbs up" to Armagedddon, while Ebert was "thumbs down" on Armageddon and "thumbs up" on The Rock. To paraphrase James Carville (though I think Bruckheimer is extremely smart), "It's the movie, stupid."
THE UGLY: Funny that Bruckheimer took on critics in a bunch on the same weekend that I want to take one on as an individual. You tell me, is the following paragraph from a film review or a college mid-term? "It's an adult's paranoid dream come to life, so setting it in a juvenile context may have inadvertently undone the foundation of the story. And while the picture's sense of a toy store turned upside down, courtesy of dazzling f/x, will draw young viewers, ultimately the film's mean-spiritedness and serious underpinnings will turn off its core audience. The result will be rapid commercial erosion and disappointing theatrical box office; ancillary movement, particularly on video, could provide the picture with a more vital afterlife." You can put down your dictionaries now. If you haven't figured it out, the review is of Small Soldiers. And it's by Leonard Klady of Variety. . Some movies and some critics just are an unreasonable match.
TWO MOVIES EQUAL: Lethal Weapon 4 + Madeline = Lethal Madeline 14. "She's 14 years old, she's menstruating and she ain't taking any crap!" Follow the adventures of young Madeline as she comes of age and decides it's time to break out of those two rows ("I'm getting too old for this s--t!") and hit the streets of Paris. Watch out, nuns!
JUST WONDERING: Have any of you noticed Ben Affleck's new teeth making their debut in Armageddon? They were bought and paid for by Disney. You see, when director Michael Bay lined up young Affleck's first close-up, he decided in a New York-destroying second that Big Ben's teeth weren't nearly as pretty as his pecs. Twenty-four hours and $18,000 later, Ben was no longer dentally challenged and he was ready for his close-up.
BAD AD WATCH: This section is usually moist with bile, but not this week. As I leafed through Sunday's papers, I was taken with the good ads for a change. First, there's Saving Private Ryan, which is going pull-quote free. Bravo! I guess it shouldn't be surprising that DreamWorks' other July release Small Soldiers is doing the same, though it may be for slightly less lofty reasons. ("Two Thumbs Down.") Meanwhile, Sony left off the names from pull-quotes by two NBC stations (Chicago and Dallas) and one L.A. local on The Mask of Zorro, perhaps sensing the names would have only negative value if any. (I expect some big-name raves by next weekend.) And best of all, there wasn't a Ron Brewington quote as far as my eye could see.
READER OF THE DAY: From Krillian: "I just saw Armageddon and thought it was a great summer movie. What's with all the hype about Armageddon being a bomb already? It'll hit $100 million domestically by Tuesday, and you know this movie will do great overseas, so why doesn't everyone calm down and stop trying to kill a movie's business with negative box-office non-stories? And it's not just you, it's every single movie site I've checked. Sure Armageddon had dozens of flaws, and I could probably come up with an equal number in the list as I did with Godzilla, but Armageddon had better characters, wittier lines, cooler special effects, and they actually... [edited out spoiler]. Armageddon is three-and-one-half stars for enjoyment, and maybe two stars for an actual film. It's a movie that I know will suck in two years, the way ID4 bites it now, but at the time, I thought that was great, too."

E ME: Well, I still like ID4 and I still found Armageddon cynical, manufactured and heartless, but I hear you, Krillian. Truthfully, I am really more interested at this point in writing about all this very amusing spinning than I am about hurting the film's box office. First off, I can't hurt it. And secondly, that's not my job. My only power is in helping people see the entire story, not just the spin. And like Godzilla, we'll be moving on shortly. What other media stuff (including mine) pisses you all off?