The Hot Button by David Poland

Weekend, 8 August 1998

NEWS BY THE NUMBERS

10. An elderly gentleman tried to blackmail Carmike Cinemas by threatening to expose to moviegoers his creation and sale of "Cannibal Corn," a creation he claimed was made up of regular popcorn mixed with his dead aunt's bodily ashes(THB 08/06). He now says that he didn't actually put his aunt into the popcorn, but rather, just some other ashes. Kind of makes worrying about the kind of oil your corn is popped in seem kinda silly, huh? Then again, for serious movie lovers, this could become the ultimate seasoning tribute.
9. Paramount finally bit the bullet and bought Trekkers, the documentary from Neo-Motion and director Roger Nygard (THB 08/06). This has led some industry wags to worry that Paramount is burning it's most valuable bridge. Paramount already has a bad history of shutting down fan Websites that used trademarked Trek images and sounds, creating an Internet resistance strong enough to beat the Borg. I found the movie a kind of Rorshach test. If you are a Trekker (or Trekkie), you will laugh with the charming whackos who populate the Trek conventions. If you are not, you will laugh at them. (Guess which side I fall on.) Either way, it will be the first must-see documentary since Roger & Me, which for all it's well- earned hype only grossed $7 million. Trekkers is likely to be the highest grossing documentary in history. And Paramount got it for only $1.25 million up front. Maybe they aren't so dumb after all.
8. Debbie Reynolds has long been known as "feisty." She has survived Eddie Fisher, Elizabeth Taylor, the Hollywood studio system and her daughter, Carrie Fisher's own stinging portrayal of her in the hit book and not-so-hit film, Postcards from the Edge. But now she's been forced to sell her self-named Las Vegas hotel, where she has worked as the main stage act without pay for years, hoping that the hotel would turn around. And who bought it? The WWF. That's right. The World Wrestling Federation. Will Debbie end up "managing" Rascally Roger Rectum? (I don't know who's in the WWF, OK?) Could be. Good way to turn a buck. More likely, Las Vegas will see the first Hard Wrestling Hotel & Casino. Which mean sthat we at Turner will need to open the two-towered WCW/NWO Hotel. Which could lead to the roughcut.com motor lodge and the David Poland soda machine.
7. There's been some dispute about just how difficult it will be for Disney to get Mulan into mainland China's movie theaters. But Disney is confident that they have a strong enough relationship with the Chinese government to get the film through. If Disney does dominate the early entry into the Chinese market, what horrors might occur? Will Paulie Shore have the equivalent significance in China to that of Jerry Lewis in France? The horror.
6. Speaking of fire sales, MGM is looking for a "strategic partner," a move which is expected to lead to Kirk Kerkorian's fourth sale of the studio in his long and sordid history with the "ars gratis ars" house. Did the decision that it was time to sell relate in any way to the decision to hire Michael Apted to direct Bond 19? Doubtful. But it does but into interesting focus the current court battle with Sony over Bond. It looks like the franchise may be movie after all, with majors Disney, Fox and Warner Bros. all showing interest in purchasing the overall company. With Warner Bros. in the hunt, the opportunity to reunite the Turner MGM library with its namesake seems like the perfect chance to create a unique specialty division and for the WB to get its hand on a franchise (Bond) that works a lot more smoothly than Batman or Superman and more cheaply (and with replaceable talent) than the Lethal Weapon series. But does Bond executrix Barbara Broccoli have an out if the studio is sold? And is that "out" what Sony's John Calley was trying to exploit 18 months ago before he changed strategies and went with the Kevin McClory "former Bond screenplay writer" strategy currently under litigation? It's gonna get really intricate before it's all over. Very Bond-like.
5. Also coincidentally to No. 6 , PepsiCo is busy keeping up its movie profile. The company has aced Coca-Cola out of the soft drink category for the 1999 Academy Awards, paying an all-time high of $1 million for each 30-second spot. (And "All Time High" was a Bond song! This column is so serendipitous today.) Pepsi is also co-sponsoring the worldwide video release of Titanic, a merchandising deal which The Hollywood Reporter says is a first-time deal for Fox Home Entertainment. Pepsi's King Of The World! (Coke is still No. 1 and they don't have to try as hard.)
4. Speaking of The King of the World, producer Joel Silver (Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, The Hudsucker Proxy) says that he is changing his lifestyle. Silver, the self-styled vulgarian with a penchant for the very finest Frank Lloyd Wright houses and for the very finest professionally nude and semi-nude women, says that he's going to get married and have some kids. Silver was the basis for the vulgarian producer played by Steve Martin in Lawrence Kasdan's Grand Canyon and Saul Rubinek's Lee Donowitz character in True Romance. (And the Donowitz character was buying lots of trademark free coke in that film. More serendipity! And serendipity protected legally by the association to a Quentin Tarantino screenplay. I am saying nothing about Mr. Silver's habits. Nothing!) Good luck in your new life, Joel. Can't wait to see Lethal Barney and Dr. Dodeath.
3. Golf has become the hip sport of the '90s version of the Yuppie, the SIJuppy (That would be Self-Indulgent Jerk - uppy). And up until now, the worst one seemed to have to worry about from a movie star and the sport was a Jack Nicholson five iron across the windshield of your B- Mer. But James Parker claims that Michael Douglas has taken the sport's danger element to a new level. A lower lever. Parker, a caddy from New York, says that Douglas didn't scream "fore!" before hitting him, with a shot, in his personal "two." It isn't really that funny. The guy says he had both testicles ruptured and that one had to be surgically removed. (Are you crossing your legs yet, guys?) Douglas says he wasn't the ball striker (a golf term, punny or not) and that he was the only one in his party to come to the aid of the injured caddy. He did not, however offer any direct physical assistance. The caddy was over 25 years of age.
2. Selling PolyGram Filmed Entertainment has become a bit of a chore for Universal, who bought the whole company a few months ago. The corporation did manage to sell off clothing designer house Herve Leger to America's BCBG Max Azria this week without much apparent friction. And they sold off Tropicana to PepsiCo for $3.3 billion just weeks ago. But Image Entertainment is trying to stop any deal for PFE because it wants to protect its deal to release the studio's DVD and laserdiscs. A right that pays $3 million against a total of $6 million overall. Could a $3 million deal be holding up what could be a $700 million payday for the mini-major? Now, THAT is an emerging technology.
1. There is no No. 1. This was one weak movie news week. Plenty going on in the stock market and on Monica Lewinsky's dress, but L.A. was dead.
READER OF THE DAY: There have been lots of letters on either side of the Ben Affleck thing (THB 08/05, 08/06, 08/07). Early on, it was very anti-Ben. Then a rush of anti-Mr. Showbiz. Then the middle. (This was mirrored, in almost the opposite direction on the View Askew site) Here is one reader who may lean a little far for me, but seems to have some really worthwhile perspective. Here's the e-mail from Morpheme: "Hi, Dave, I read the column today (as I do every day) and I read ViewAskew from time to time, so I know all about Ben's big mouth. I still think he was set up during the Armageddon junket and misrepresented (though not misquoted) afterward. Wells's original story, by his own admission, was about Eisner. Somewhere along the way, this showed up on Mr. Showbiz as a story about Affleck. No matter how you cut it, the original piece gives the impression that Ben Affleck is really worried about a controversy surrounding Dogma, and I don't believe this is accurate or true. (I'm sure that Eisner is worried-- that's a no-brainer, judging from what happened with China and Kundun. Harvey Weinstein may worry a bit, but he's probably also pleased at the thought of all the free publicity a controversy would generate.)
"But even if Affleck was misrepresented, his reaction seems disproportionate to the "crime" committed against him here, and I think that's why we're all so interested. Wells may be right that Ben got into hot water with Weinstein, but I think it's just as likely that Ben simply felt humiliated by having been caught off guard during the interview -- it's pretty obvious that he prides himself on being sharp and thinks he can handle things. Also, another theory about his rant. It may have been exaggeratedly over the top because on ViewAskew, where he posted it, he was playing to an audience of fans, entertaining the crowd. (I'm not excusing his rant, just trying to understand it.) Meanwhile, it is all so very adversarial. I don't know how Affleck became so contemptuous of the press so fast, but he obviously is no fan. On the other hand, when Jeff Wells says, 'Sooner or later [the remarks of young men of intelligence and balls] cause a stir,' he sounds pretty pleased with himself for having elicited the remarks of Affleck's that caused 'a stir.'
"Affleck may have been headed for a fall with his attitude, but maybe you have colleagues in the press who wouldn't mind knocking him down a peg or two -- not because of his attitude, but because of the whole Damon- and-Affleck Cinderella story? I dunno. It's ugly, like all power games.

E ME: Weekend-only readers, you have some catching up to do if you want to figure all this out. Let me know what you think. Also, let's hear about Halloween: H20 and Snake Eyes. Is it Jamie Lee's best and Nic Cage's worst, the opposite or something in between. Write, right now.