The Hot Button by David Poland

Weekend, 19 September 1998

NEWS BY THE NUMBERS

10. TURNING BOMBS INTO MARKET SHARES: Thank goodness for Armageddon. Bruce, Bay and the boys saved the earth and gave Disney a chance to make a major comeback from a pretty soft first two-thirds of 1998. The line-up the rest of the way looks like it could well be 100 percent stinker free. Holy Man looks like a perfect Eddie Murphy vehicle. Many women I know are already seriously excited about Oprah Winfrey's Beloved. Adam Sandler couldn't be any stupider (that means funny) in The Waterboy. You have your big monkey movie with the Mighty Joe Young remake, your animated hit with A Bugs Life and John Travolta as a charismatic lawyer in the now retitled A Civil Action. The only question mark is the biggest (at least in budget) of the films, Enemy of the State, starring Will Smith and directed by Tony Scott, though early indications are that the thriller may actually be very, very good. The Hot Button has been rough on Disney's spin tactics for months, but even I have to give the devil its due. And I do. (And don't worry. I'll still be chasing Armageddon through it's November 13 video release date.)
9. RUSSIAN HANDS AND ROMAN PRESIDENTS: Is Roman Polanski the Bill Clinton of the film business? No, I'm not accusing the president of child molesting, but they both always seem to be getting into trouble. Both have had "dating" problems. Both have had John Travolta problems (Polanski and Travolta's disagreements just before shooting caused the film they were working on last year to shut down before production, and JT played BC in Primary Colors so well that you could almost feel Clinton getting better looking). And now, both are being taken over by supervisory committees. Clinton by the House of Representatives. And Polanski by his producers and his completion bond company after falling behind on The Ninth Gate (with Johnny Depp, who is getting a rep for being involved with troubled projects himself these days). Oh well, at least Big Bill won't be thrown out of the country, whatever happens. (You can read more on The Ninth Gate here.
8. SLOWLY SINKING: The red hot Titanic video (or is that wet hot?) took a tumble in week two on the rental market. The film is still in first place, but it's being chased from behind by (what else?) Primary Colors, the pre-Presidential Clinton dramedy. Leo also has the distinction of being Top 10 video rental bookends, with The Man in the Iron Mask hanging in there at the 10 spot. (And in three to nine: Wild Things, The Wedding Singer, U.S. Marshals, Jackie Brown, Good Will Hunting, Hard Rain and The Big Lebowski.)
7. I WANNA BE, LIKE, LITIGATION FREE: Kim Basinger lost a landmark case in which she had to pay a producer for the losses he took on a movie that she had committed to but then backed out of. The movie was Boxing Helena, and it was bad. Very, very bad. You see, Kim Basinger was, and is, a major movie star (now an Oscar winner), and her non-participation effected the film on every economic level. So, it only makes sense that Michael Jordan is now being sued for the same thing. WHAT?!?!?
This all goes back to a movie called Heaven is a Playground, to which Jordan apparently committed and then withdrew. Of course, he agreed to make the movie (in a supporting role) in 1987 and, the producers apparently were still without full financing in early 1989. When they shot the movie in the summer of 1989, Jordan passed and Bo Kimble played Jordan's role. The movie never got any real distribution and lost a little money. So, how much do they want from Jordan? They claim the movie would have made a profit of $16 to $20 million had he appeared, and they are probably right about that. Even a bad movie with Jordan could still be out there being leveraged. But should a third-year player Jordan be held responsible for becoming five-championship-ring Michael Jordan? The trial will start as soon as they can get a jury that stops giggling just because they are in the same room as MJ.
6. I KNOW WHAT YOU'LL REMAKE NEXT SUMMER: Fellow movie columnist Jeff Wells covered the current spate of movies with death as a theme pretty effectively. (Read it here -- and come back!) But he missed the latest one. Jennifer Love Hewitt, fresh from trying to stack up (snicker, snicker) to Jamie Lee Curtis as a scream queen and setting herself up for grieve by playing Audrey Hepburn in a TV movie, will make a movie next summer that's being called "a Love Story for the '90s" by its producers. Here's an early look at the ad campaign: "Someone's taking their love of maudlin, badly acted movies too far. (cue: Marvin Hamlisch music) With the girl from I Know What You Did Last Summer (lawsuit pending). Dying to Love You. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Victoria's Secret. And that cute-guy-from-the-series-that-is-such-a-hit-
on-the-WB-that-it-can't-beat-reruns-of-Something So Right-
on-real-TV. Dying To Love You. It'll metastasize it's way into your heart."
5. DVD YOU, DVD ME: Steven Spielberg has been the one major DVD holdout, but Sony got him to let The Mask of Zorro get pressed. Now, if we could only get The Peacemaker: The Special Edition, cinastes could sleep at night.
4. JUST DO IT: The decision to sell the broadcast rights to your movie can be a tricky one. Just this year, we've seen Titanic sold too early for too little and Godzilla sold too late for a disappointing amount. DreamWorks, iconoclast that it has become in this industry, isn't waiting for buzz to build or for box office results to make their deals for their two animated films, Antz and The Prince of Egypt. They sold each film to NBC for somewhere between $10 and $15 million each with a scale that could raise the price if the films zoom past the $100 million mark. The logic of this is perfect. It reminds me of a reoccurring line in Rounders, basically "it's not about luck. Why can't you understand that?" There are many unsavory ways in which studios have gone too corporate. This is not one of them. This is one more way to allow a studio to focus on the film and not the attending business issues as a release comes to fruition.
3. WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE: Ch-ch-ch-changes in the online movie site world are coming. How much Lee Masters' exit from E! will effect E! Online is unclear, but after turning E! into a real cable network over the last nine years, he's outta there. But in even more intriguing news, word on the street has it that Harry Knowles is considering a move to La La Land. The news had the immediate effect of causing anti-Knowles publicists to drool, looking forward to personally welcoming Harry to the shark tank. The Hot Button will be happy to send Harry a list of restaurants with dark corners in which to meet his "spies." It's not going to be easy to play the outsider game from the inside, chum.
2. X SELLS: Many Hot Button readers complained loudly when I wrote that The X-Files was a well-made, but oversized season-ending episode of the series. I enjoyed the movie, but along with so many others, I was hoping for more. But now I'm excited. Chris Carter has embraced the future and announced that the series will end with a bang in the form of another feature film after its seventh season ends in 2000. Now, they can get serious about a movie. Kill whomever you wish. Go wherever you want with the story. Now, there's no demand to not only bring in new viewers, but to simply bridge the gap between two seasons. X2 could be great. X2 should be great. Let the 'Net buzz begin!
1. HELL TO SELL: By the time you read this, PolyGram Filmed Entertainment will be sold. Or it won't be. After all the shouting, the bidding for the mini-major that got caught in Universal's net in their takeover of PolyGram (it's the recording company, stupid!) came down to just two bidders. And one of them, Canal Plus, seemed to be looking to defray their exposure by teaming with MGM to make their bid. (The other bidder, Artisan Entertainment, would be making a serious step up in the ranks with this purchase.) The alternative, of course, is that Universal will just keep PFE, but if that happens, expect the company to be slowly dismantled and for the talented execs at the company to disperse. In other words, Two Bidders and a Funeral.
READER OF THE DAY: Chris Z. sent these in: "If Forrest Gump made you cry, Simon Birch will make you jump out a window. If Eddie Murphy kills you, Chris Tucker will bring you back from the dead. (No, I don't really know what that means either.) If Bio-Dome made you fall out of the chair in laughter, Chairman of the Board will make you roll around until you bump your head."

E ME: I asked this last Friday, and I ask it again for the weekend-only readers. My editors and I have been discussing whether the ever-growing Hot Button is becoming just too much to read each day. I write this for all of you every day, so tell me, are you finding THB too long, too short or just right? And please feel free to let me know which parts of the column you like best, least or not at all. I thank you for your input ahead of time. (As I can't respond to every e-mail.) Thanks.