The Hot Button by David Poland

Weekend, 26 September 1998

NEWS BY THE NUMBERS

10. EMPTY-V: MTV Productions announced this week that it had eight new film projects in the works. And Hollywood wept. After Joe's Apartment and Dead Man on Campus, you could say that feature films killed the video star. And with the very funny turn by Samuel L. Jackson at the MTV Movie Awards this year, the network proved that it's easier to mock movies than to make them well. And I guess yours truly would know that better than anyone.
9. LET'S SEE, PT. 1: You're Betty Thomas and Jenno Topping and you made two films last year. One (Can't Hardly Wait) came up short in its release by Sony Pictures. And the other (Dr. Dolittle) did shockingly well under the banner of 20th Century Fox. So, which studio do you do a long-term deal with? Sony, of course. [The most important female production duo since Lynda Obst and Debra Hill split up will go to the highly simpatico studio in a three-year, first-look deal.] Which means that they could end up working with Fox and other studios as often as not.
8. LET'S SEE, PT. 2: One of the hippest teams in the rock 'n' roll biz, David Bowie and producer Tony Visconti, decide to re-team after 20 years. With classics like "Young Americans" and "Heroes" to their credit, it must be an important project that finally got them to get back together. Of course it is. It's the Rugrats soundtrack. Can Bowie make diapers cool? Keep an eye on those trend pages!
7. CALL ME, BABE. IN THE BEV HILLS JAIL: I often write about the dangers of men with business cards that say "producer" here in Hollyrock. (Gotta love those Flintstones!) But usually, it's because the card is used as a crowbar to remove the panties of unsuspecting starlets. Last week, a company called Metropolis Premier was actually shut down and its operators were arrested for defrauding investors in their worthless company. False word has it that Time Warner stockholders are considering a similar suit to recoup the cost of producing The Avengers.
6. WOMAN WATCH: It's funny how in an industry obsessed with female youth, some actresses get "discovered" after well-established careers. This week, it's Catherine Zeta-Jones, who was "discovered" by Steven Spielberg for The Mask of Zorro a few years after she was "discovered" (after a long stage career) by the casting director of The Phantom. (Coincidentally, Kristy Swanson also "disappeared" after The Phantom, only she has yet to be rediscovered.) CZJ will next take on the babe role in The Haunting of Hill House, a remake of 1963's The Haunting, opposite Liam Neeson and Lili Taylor. (Taylor is a long-time favorite amongst the art-house crowd, and this could be a breakthrough film for her. I hope.) Meanwhile, it looks like Thandie Newton will be "the girl" in Mission: Impossible 2. Newton is, in my opinion, one of the five sexiest quality-working-actresses in the business today.
5. I'M READY FOR MY CLOSE UP, MR. WHIPPLE: A big couple of weeks for product placement deals. Robin Williams' What Dreams May Come will feature tie-ins with Oscar De La Renta perfume, The Museum Store and Epson printers. And Antz offers the art that is PespiCo (Look at the size of that Mountain Dew!) and well-placed motor oil. There certainly have been silly placements in movies before, but I don't think I've ever seen a major animated film with this kind of obvious placement before. At least there wasn't an animated can of Raid.
4. TOP OF THE HEAP: Plans to make the English-language version of the Japanese hit Shall We Dance? seem to have finally been set in stone. Tom Hanks will take on the role of the sad, lonely business man who finds secret joy in a ballroom dance class. I've been thinking Harrison Ford from the start, and Tom Hanks seems too young and happy to me. No doubt he's a great dramatic actor, but there is a bright light under his sadness that is part of his appeal. But damned if I don't have to say that Hanks is a great choice. The even better news coming out of this deal with Hanks is that he is apparently firm for a lead in Dino, the Martin Scorsese version of the life of the most quixotic of the Rat Packers. If that holds, Hanks will turn up in The Green Mile, Dino, Robert Zemekis' Castaway and then Shall We Dance? back-to-back-to-back-to-back. And I, for one, will expect two more Oscars to come from that inevitably remarkable run. Is Hanks the greatest movie star ever? It's getting harder and harder to argue otherwise.
3. DON'T FENCE ME IN: DreamWorks SKG has long been lauded in this column for being different. Next weekend Antz, their first animated film, opens with almost no pandering to kids involved. That's different. Saving Private Ryan was pushed forward by Spielberg and Co. so aggressively that any controversy over what was probably the most violent studio release of all time was muted. Different. And now, DreamWorks will build its studio in Playa Del Rey on land that's considered sacred ground by wetlands conservationists. Also different. Of course, in five years, all of this environmental controversy will be mostly forgotten. That is, outside of Sierra Club meetings. On the other hand, one of the few truly sleepy areas of L.A.'s west side will likely be woken up in a big way. No truth to the rumor that Jeffrey Katzenberg made Prince of Egypt as an offering to God, hoping that he would move the wetlands with an outstretched arm a la Prince of Egypt.
2. NET KNOTS: You know, I kid Disney about being the evil empire, but having been in the Time Warner family for about four years now, I know how disconnected an empire can be. But amongst mega-media corporations TW, Viacom and News Corp, Disney seems singularly synergistic. One hand does seem to know what the other is doing. And that hand is Michael Eisner's. That trend continues as Disney announced the Go Network on Monday. Take Infoseek, add Disney's Daily Blast, Movies.Com, E! Online, Mr. Showbiz, ESPNet and a variety of Starwave lifestyle sites, and you have the makings of a completely self-contained portal site that should be able to use its pre-existing franchise values to become a dominant player. Maybe the dominant player. But we need not worry here. If you have half an hour, go load a few pages from Pathfinder. (Hardy, har, har.)
1: RUSH HOUR OF JUDGEMENT: As you surely know by now, Rush Hour shocked the world by breaking opening weekend records for August, September and October with a $33 million opening. But here's what's bugging me. I am generally anti-PC, but why is every media outlet giving Jackie Chan the credit for this phenomenal opening? Could it be racism? His last film to be released here (Mr. Nice Guy) opened to $5.4 million. The one before that (First Strike) opened to $5.7 million. His biggest hit (Rumble in the Bronx) grossed a total of $32 million domestically. Meanwhile, Money Talks, starring Chris Tucker and the highly devalued Charlie Sheen opened to a surprising $10.7 million last year. And Tucker was acclaimed for his role in The Fifth Element, no matter how irritating to some. Isn't Chris Tucker the magic ingredient? Wasn't Eddie Murphy the magic ingredient in 48 Hrs.? When that film hit, did everyone dub Nick Nolte "The winner of the week" (as Entertainment Weekly did Jackie Chan?) I don't think so. New Line markets to black America better than anyone out there. Tucker gets most of the laughs in the trailer, and he's the real breakout actor (Chan's most recent film, Who Am I?, went directly to HBO). No one element can be held responsible for a $33 million opening. But if you had to put a finger on it, I say, go with Tucker.
CORRECTIONS: My apologies for Thursday's errors. I misspelled wrestler Jerry Lawler's name and Universal will release Jim Carrey's Andy Kaufman biopic Man on the Moon. Sorry (though the likelihood of the wrestling stunt being a hoax remains extremely high.)
READER OF THE DAY: Two more rather diverse takes on movie nudity. First, from Matt B.: "While disregarding your heterosexist entreaty to women (only) regarding male nudity in film, I would like to say that I am happy to have seen Ryan Phillippe bare-assed naked in his last three films. I do feel that, like Heather Graham or Kate Winslet, he will become known as an actor 'who gets nude' above his (apparently) considerable acting ability. This is not fair, but I do think that actors who take roles that feature their acting (as well as physical) talents will transcend typecasting."
Then, Sharrde wrote: "The discussion has turned to T&A, which is one of my favorite subjects, so I can't help but put my 2 cents in. Slasher movies need it. In the '80s, it was a prerequisite for slasher films. Now, we get to watch Neve Campell go around fully clothed through two whole movies! I can understand if Jennifer Love Hewitt doesn't want the world to realize just how padded her bra is. But I can guarantee you I would have gone to see Disturbing Behavior instead of viewing Pvt. Ryan a second time if it meant seeing Katie Holmes' breasts. And then there's Sarah Michelle Gellar, whom I love more than life itself. Two slasher movies in six months and the best they can do is a one-piece swimsuit!?!?!?!? Really, I think you should dedicate your next ranting and raving to this subject. And be sure to mention how badly we need to see Rebecca Gayheart's real breasts."

E ME: I hate to leave weekend readers out of the fun, and the nudity issue has pulled in a lot of e-mail. I don't think I'll be spending an entire column on teen nudity in the movies. Frankly, I am a lot more concerned about the system that so emphasizes breast size even amongst the absurdly beautiful. So, it's up to you. If you haven't taken up the keyboard on this subject, now is the time. Or just let me know if you liked or hated Ronin. Finally, I'll be down on the set of Warner Bros. shark sage Deep Blue Sea, starring Samuel L. Jackson and directed by Renny Harlin. If you e-me questions over the weekend, I will try to get the good ones answered on Monday.