The Hot Button by David Poland

Weekend, 10-11 October 1998

NEWS BY THE NUMBERS

10. DEAD AGAIN: Fred Astaire's widow, the woman who showed the good taste to allow her late, great husband to dance with a Dirt Devil, took her case against a dance instruction videotape all the way to the Supreme Court. They said, "We hate the look of you, the smile of you, we're throwing out, even the very briefs of you."
9. DEAD FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME: Roddy McDowall, a face who crossed generations, passed away this week at 70. He had made more than 150 movies and hundreds of TV appearances. Some remember him as a young man in MGM dramas and musicals such as 1941's How Green is My Valley or 1943's My Friend Flicka (a movie that would be sold as The Movie That Gave Glue A Bad Name were it to be released today). Others think of McDowall as Cornelius, the monkey hero of 1968's Planet of the Apes. ("Stop calling them monkeys! They are follicle-ly challenged!") Still others think of him first as Peter Vincent from 1985's Fright Night. I, of course, have him in my pantheon of greatness via his role as The Bookworm on the Batman TV series. He will be missed, as will Gene Autry, who made just under 100 movies, almost all Westerns. Most people under 40 will remember him only from his frustrated ownership of the California Angels (now made the Anaheim Angels by Disney, but still playing like Mickey Mouses when the playoffs near). But you may remember his theme song, "Back in the Saddle Again." The guy even has his own Web site. Three actually, but I'll leave you with this one. Adios amigo!
8. CONSPIRACY THEORY II: A guy named Rick L. Rozar, who, according to The Hollywood Reporter "made millions purveying public records on the Internet and gave millions to neglected children," died when he fell off his roof. What was he doing up there? Taking down a satellite dish. Do you see the conspiracy? A Web guy against the satellite guys. Where the hell is Oliver Stone? And where is my gun?
7. NORTH OF THE BORDER: Happiness is coming to Canada. Behaviour Entertainment will open the Todd Solondz film, which I loved (THB 10/07), on October 23 in Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver as it spreads out over the U.S. The rest of Canada will be invaded on November 6. Hopefully, the nation that so embraced The Sweet Hereafter and Bean will do the same for a film that so interestingly combines both. Kind of.
The film, which most of us think of as Solondz's second, is actually his third, with 1989's Fear, Anxiety and Depression being the first. That film was the result of a deal with Dawn Steele's Columbia following a well-received short film. Things did not go well and Solondz did not re-emerge until 1995's Welcome to the Dollhouse took Sundance by storm. I am told by a fellow NYU film school grad that Solondz's initial foray into Hollywood was cited as a "how not to" example by University professors until Dollhouse hit. (Thanks to Dave for that bit.) Of course, that reflects the insanity I always feel about film school -- the idea that students are given chances to make films that at any opportunity could be seen as a "how not to." If you are in film school and you can read these words, know that odds are dramatically against you and that any opportunity to expose film is a step in the right direction. Solondz's first failure is much more the norm than the unique. And not too many manage to get a second chance.
6. LOVE PAYS DIVIDENDS: London's The Daily Mirror has to pay Liam Neeson and Natasha Richardson $85,000 because their marriage is happy. This comes as the result of the couple suing The Daily Mirror for libel damages after a story was printed saying that the marriage was all but over. And Europeans are laughing at us over Clinton?! If an American libel suit could be won for printing bad gossip, every rag would go out of business and the invasion of private lives would likely worsen as surviving gossip reporters would have to prove what they printed. Do you really want to see photos of George Michael in that public bathroom or of Cameron Diaz having sex with Matt Dillon on the beach? Uh, bad question. Shame on us.
5. KING SIGHTING: "You know, what we really need is a good movie about Elvis Presley's death. And if we're lucky, it will be about a conspiracy to cover up Bill Cordozo and Jack Gordon's story that the King was diagnosed with terminal cancer before his death." These putzes are trying to raise $30 million to make the movie. And as much as I didn't love Armageddon, the fact that they might actually make this happen makes me hope that maybe a meteor is headed this way. And if we are lucky, they'll send Bruce Willis, because he'll be so busy trying to get laid that he won't stop the rock and we'll all be put out of our misery.
4. SPRING FORWARD, FALL BACK: You want a topper to the Elvis film? Artisan Entertainment is going to make Ringmaster, a movie about Jerry Springer and his show. And unlike the hacks above, this one will get made. Celluloid, toilet paper. Celluloid, toilet paper. Get to know the difference, guys.
3. WATCH OUT, POCAHONTAS: The French did something that Disney could not: they got Snow White and Cinderella laid. A campaign by the French AIDS prevention organization (SIDA Info Service) showed the two fairy tale ladies in bed with their respective prince and a warning about heterosexually transmitted AIDS. Disney objected and not because Rob Lowe was the one doing Snow White. He wasn't. (At least, not publicly. The couple, as you remember, met at the Academy Awards a few years ago and Disney immediately sued the Academy. Most parents try grounding, but you know these attorneys.) One of the best things in these ads was that the most virginal babes this side of Jennifer Love Hewitt without the push-up were doing it in surprising places. Cinderella and her prince were going at it in a pumpkin carriage and Snow White is riding her heroic mate in the woods (no sign of the dwarves). Kinky.
2. SELLING BY THE GRAM: The story of the sale of PolyGram Filmed Entertainment continues to evolve by the hour. When I read Friday's Hollywood Reporter Web site, which publishes first, MGM was buying the PFE library only for "a price over (sic) $350 million." By the time I read Variety in the morning, the report was "almost $400 million." Truth is, the actual information that leaked to both trades is probably exactly the same. My bet would be that since Universal has made it obvious that they need the payday and are willing to eat the PFE $300 million debt, a virtual auction for the 1,500-title library will take place on power phones over the weekend and a company that is less strapped than MGM and that has yet to bid could swoop in to take the library for as much as $450 million. If there is any investment that has always proven to be worth the money, it's film libraries. When the purchases take place, it's always seen as overpriced. Within years, it's seen as a bargain. Don't be shocked if Warner Bros., Sony or even Fox jumps into the fray.
1. B.O. B.O.: Last weekend's box office was a parade of mis-estimation. Four films had to change their final numbers by more than $300,000. To me, this is kind of like the change of seasons in the Northeast -- like watching leaves change color. The summer rules are over. Put away the white pants and start getting used to anomalies. Halloween is coming, but this year it's preceded not only by horror flicks, but by a load of major league art films trying to become this year's L.A. Confidential with critics while trying to improve on the box office take. Disney is back to new animation for Thanksgiving instead of another remake of a studio live-action classic. (Would The Parent Trap have done better as a holiday treat?) And from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day, the studios will try to squeeze in a summer-type block of films into just six weeks. As always, some quality films will be lost in the shuffle and Oscar buzz will begin to dominate the box office.
READER OF THE DAY: This came in from Steve: "Wisely Snipes (sic) really loves Chinese girls. After the press junket was over, he asked a few female journalists out on a date with him, but most of them turned him down. Only Angela Chow, the press conference host with a heart of gold, stayed with him almost all night long. They hung out in a pub 'til 2:00 a.m."
I Wrote Back: "Steve - Are you serious? Wesley asked the female reporters to go out with him? Really?"
And Steve shot back: "Of course it's true. Every detail was printed in the newspaper! (In Chinese, of course.)" [Editor's note: roughcut.com doesn't report gossip. Steve's comments are unsubstanital and not representative of roughcut.com's editorial policy.]

E ME: I don't like to gossip monger, but there is something very amusing to me about international gossip. So the E-me today is two-fold: If you are outside the U.S., I'd love to get the latest dirt about movie stars that is uniquely your country's own, and if you are here in the U.S., do you find this stuff as funny as I do? In America, we get reserved, slick Wesley and the guy is hitting on reporters in Taiwan. (That brings new meaning to "Made in Taiwan.") Let me know.