Thursday, 11 March 1999

SHOWEST - DAY THREE

Today, joyfully, my day began with lunch. What does that mean? That I actually slept last night. Wow! Today's lunch was given by Warner Bros. No Batmobiles or any Wild, Wild West stuff this year. Just a simple run into the auditorium.

Actually, that's not true. I was recruited this afternoon, in the press line where I was taking my simple digital photos for you, to do some interviewing for the NHK TV crew from Japan. They are doing a documentary on Hollywood and this is their first major event that they are covering. So, we made friends and they realized that I could yank talent to their camera more aggressively than they might. So, I did. A really good group of people. You can check out the still in today's ShoWest Gallery update.

The real story of the day was not my TV work, though. It was Eyes Wide Shut. Even above The Wild, Wild West, Kubrick's last film holds an important place in the hearts of so many, even before we've seen frame one. Before today's lunch was over, that would change. But first, there were traditional podium speeches that have marked the Warner Bros. lunches forever. Gone were the once-annual proclamations of WB as the most stable studio. Instead, we met some of the new faces, said goodbye to some of the old and forgot completely about Bill Gerber's existence on the planet. And then there were the movie stars.

First up was not-yet-a-star-but-probably-will-be Michael Clarke Duncan, once of Armageddon and now of The Green Mile. With Tom Hanks in the hospital, MCD made up for his absence by charming the audience so completely in his gentle giant way, that it was virtually love at first sight. Hugh Grant got up and talked about the successful test screenings of Mickey Blue-Eyes and checked with Will Smith as to whether he was pronouncing one of the audience member's comment, "It's da bomb," correctly. He was. David Spade got up to push his upcoming Lost and Found saying, "I play a guy who's a ne'er-do-well. It's working for Sandler, it might work for me." Also, mentioning his co-star Sophie Marceau moving from Braveheart to this film, "It's such a step down, she pulled a hamstring."

Next up were George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg and writer/director David O. Russell from Three Kings, which just ended production and is due in October. Said Clooney, "We're just stopping by Planet Hollywood to drop off Mark Wahlberg's p--is." He then described the film as an "action comedy adventure drama in the Gulf War," which got a laugh. Russell said, "It's true." And Clooney came back with "That's what we're worried about." Clint Eastwood was next up and Salma Hayek, Michael Clarke Duncan and Mark Wahlberg all stood for him, hoping to start a standing ovation. I wonder who wants to work with Clint? Anyway, Clint was there to pitch True Crime, which opens next week, about which he said, "I can't tell you about the plot because I have a certain amount of dementia and I can't remember."

The team from Deep Blue Sea got up next. LL Cool J offered up thanks to Warner Bros. for putting him in two movies this year (he's also in Oliver Stone's Any Given Sunday) and added that now, "I don't have to be a slave to Russell Simmons." Music's not my beat, but someone sounds bitter. He also said of Deep Blue Sea, "It will make you laugh, make you cry, make some of us die." (Eat your heart out, quote whores.) Actor Thomas Jane put the whole day in some realistic perspective when he said, "It's great to be part of the family... at least for the day." Cuba Gooding Jr. had to correct WB co-topper Terry Semel's pronunciation of his name (it's "cube-a") and since, "I haven't seen the movie and I haven't seen the clip," juggled for the crowd.

There was some butter or something on the floor by the podium and Semel got it on his shoe. Will Smith, who sat directly to the right of the podium, offered to clean it. Semel called it "the first $20 million shoeshine." When producer Joel Silver and actors Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss came up for The Matrix, Joel said, "The thing is, people don't realize how funny Keanu Reeves is." After a pause, he added, "just kidding." Then Keanu proved Silver was just joking.

Last, but certainly not least, were producer Jon Peters, director Barry Sonnenfeld and actors Will Smith and Salma Hayek from The Wild, Wild West. As Sonnenfeld spoke, he seemed to be playing with his chin. Smith said something to him and Sonnenfeld told him that he was only covering his chins. So, Will took it upon himself to cover Barry's chins for him. That led to tickling by all and Sonnenfeld's exasperated, "I just want you all to know that Jon Peters literally walks around and touches your [privates]. It's not fair, it's not right and it's not decent." The locker room humor didn't stop there, as Will Smith took the podium and related some advice that Barry Sonnenfeld had given him, director to actor. "Barry turned me on to Tuck's Medicated Comfort Pads. I've always been a toilet paper man, but I will tell you, it's like having a shower in the middle of the day."

And with that, it was time for the product reel. Beautifully packaged as ever, the reel started with the already open Analyze This. Next, the soon-arriving animated version of The King and I and Clint Eastwood's True Crime. Now, on to the stuff that's a little further off. The footage of The Matrix continues to be incredibly beautiful and totally confusing. This film from the Wachowski Bros. (Bound) could be a seminal sci-fi thriller. Or it could be junk. Either way, it will be worth something for the amazing visuals alone. David Spade's romantic comedy, Lost and Found, looks like it will find its way to the rental counter quickly enough. Goodbye Lover, which was on last year's reel, didn't make the reel.

Deep Blue Sea looks effective, though there was only one "shark with human" shot in what will probably be the teaser trailer. The shark is the key and we'll be left to our imaginations. The Iron Giant looks like newfangled Disney, which is probably a good thing for Warner Bros. It's a new legend and I suspect that it could be the next big non-Disney box office breakthrough. I wanted to like Hugh Grant's Mickey Blue-Eyes more, but I couldn't. Maybe with all the Mafia comedies out there, I am overwhelmed. But it will have to deliver a lot more than a Brit not being able to say "fuggedaboudit" for me to get excited. Elizabeth Hurley produced and former "Kids in the Hall" director Kelly Makin was at the reins, but it smells a bit like a mess. Chill Factor is a buddy comedy with Skeet Ulrich and Cuba Gooding Jr. Really hard to figure out what this will be. It's still not finished and it looked like a lot of movies we've seen before. My guess is that I shouldn't guess on this one.

The September release, The Big Tease, once called Je M'appelle Crawford, is on the schedule almost a year late, and didn't make the reel. Bad sign on both sides. The Matthew Perry/Neve Campbell/Dylan McDermott comedy Three to Tango, once expected to be a summer release, is now a September release. The story -- Perry spending time with Campbell and then not having anything happen because everyone assumes he's gay -- parallels tabloid life a little too closely. And the film smells of TV, even beyond the pedigree of the stars. I'll hope it's better than it seems, but my hopes aren't too high. October's The House on Haunted Hill really needs to change it's name because if there ever was a case where the public, who are usually given too little credit for being able to sort things out, will be confused, when this opens a few months after The Haunting of Hill House. In any case, it looks like Geoffrey Rush gets to do some great horror camp and the young cast seems like fun. The footage was quite stylized, but it was impossible to tell how much of that was the movie and how much was the trailer editing. I'm looking forward to finding out.

Gossip was the one movie that looked like a serious dud to me. I could be wrong. But it seems like a bad Jennifer Love Hewitt knock-off teen horror pic. Blech. I could end up being wrong by the time its October release date comes around, but I doubt it. Oliver Stone's Any Given Sunday was just a single shot of a running football player and one speech, in voice over, by Al Pacino. No judgement should be made. Absolutely none.

That leaves four films. (I've broken up the order a little.) The first is David O. Russell's Three Kings, which looks like a Gulf War version of the Clint Eastwood classic, Kelly's Heroes. With Clooney, Wahlberg and Ice Cube leading the way, this one smells like it could be one of those great war comedies, like Altman's MASH, fresh and new and highly memorable. I hope it is. Less memorable was the footage from The Wild, Wild West. Now, I love Sonnenfeld and Smith, not to mention Salma Hayek and Kevin Kline. But the mess that was shown at ShoWest really scares me. There was no "wow" there. There was a lot of stuff going on, but I could barely tell you the first thing about how this movie is going to go, outside of the fact that there will be more gimmicks and CG than ever before. This thing looks like it will make Armageddon seem placid. Entertainment Weekly has made people repeat, "where's the hook" until people forgot that every movie doesn't have to blow up the White House to sell tickets. But, in this case, the lack of a single particularly memorable image or tag line worries me. Warner Bros. needs this movie. I will cross my fingers for them.

The Green Mile, starring Tom Hanks and written and directed by Frank Darabont from the Stephen King novel, may be "the" picture of 1999. There was a real Forrest Gump feel in the room from this one. Not quite as succinctly felt, but impressive nonetheless. Watching the footage, you felt that urge to laugh and to cry and to believe the unbelievable. That's da bomb. Michael Duncan Clarke has a screen presence that makes you love him just looking into his eyes. And Hanks is Hanks. There was no footage of the anthropomorphic rat. But what they showed was all warmth. Beautiful.

At the end of the reel, the lights stayed down as Terry Semel said a few words about Stanley Kubrick. Very nice, but as I said of my own words, they couldn't compare to the work of the master. The lights went back down. The Warner logo came up. Nicole Kidman, naked, in front of a mirror. A Chris Isaaks song plays. Tom Cruise, also naked, sidles up beside her and nuzzles her neck. Black title cards with bold color flash up there -- "CRUISE, KIDMAN, KUBRICK." More nuzzling as Cruise fondles Kidman and his mouth wanders. Kidman seems distracted. "CRUISE, KIDMAN, KUBRICK." As Cruise's hands roam Kidman's body and the dance of sex plays out, it becomes clear. Kidman is more interested in watching them in the mirror than actively participating in the encounter. She watches him ravish her. "EYES WIDE SHUT."

The 90 seconds or so were breathtaking. How could so little footage be so evocative of so much and, in particular, Stanley Kubrick? No one else could have authored that footage. And no one else did. He chose this footage specifically for ShoWest. And it was mesmerizing. I almost wanted to cry.

But enough about Warner Bros. Click here to read about Fox's Day Three Star Wars: Episode 1 -- The Phantom Menace presentation.