The Hot Button by David Poland

Weekend, 1-2 May 1999

NEWS BY THE NUMBERS

10. Selling America: Universal has decided to sell of territories for the upcoming American Pie, except for America, Canada, the U.K., Australia, New Zealand and South Africa. In other words, Universal is keeping all of the English-speaking territories that are more likely to go see a domestic comedy like this one. But while Universal is telling the trades that the film was budgeted at only $11 million, even if it was more like $18, what is the downside of keeping all rights to all territories? There is a 98 percent certainty, in my opinion, that this film is going to be highly profitable for Universal domestically. Why not roll the dice on the rest of the world? It occurs to me that as every studio starts sharing exposure on virtually every film with either non-American distributors or domestic partners, that we are entering an era where movies will be made with tighter and tighter profit margins. I can't argue that this is a bad thing as regards to the blockbuster mentality overwhelming all else. But for every There's Something About Mary, we get 15 teen comedies. As in the rest of America, the middle class is in deep danger in Hollywood. And that is a dangerous thing. This industry has to find a way to make the $50 million film financially viable again before some studio gets brought down by the combination of low-budget pictures not performing in a market full of low-budget pictures and their two annual $100 million-plus films stiffing, too.

9. Y'all Come Back Here, Y'Hear!: There is something fishy in Limbo land. The film, from indie auteur John Sayles will be the first to come out under the newly revived Sony banner, Screen Gems. The question came when I read in Variety that "Sony fully funded the Sayles movie," which seems to suggest that Screen Gems produced and oversaw the movie form the start. That's pretty much impossible, as Screen Gems was formed in December and Limbo was in production before then. This is not a huge issue, but it does point out the gamesmanship of the industry. Sony decided to tell the trades that Limbo was the first Screen Gems film a few days after it had been accepted at Cannes. The same issue was in play when DreamWorks was started and the issue of folding in Geffen Pictures product came up. For one brief shining moment, Joe's Apartment was going to be DreamWorks' first release. Then someone woke up from that nightmare. Politics, politics. Meanwhile, Sony has said that Screen Gems will not displace Sony Classics, but if it is releasing Limbo, then it already has. (P.S. How many of you get the reference in the title?)

8. Last Rites: R&B demi-star Roger Troutman was murdered this week, apparently by his own brother in a murder-suicide. Seven minutes later, no one covered the story on live T.V. No one suggested that had Troutman been a classical musician that he wouldn't have been killed. No one suggested that had Troutman had a machine gun in his guitar case instead of a guitar, this tragedy could have been averted. And no one called for legislation limiting childhood disagreements between brothers in their late 40s that might lead to murder. And a grateful world was happy to allow Mr. Troutman to rest in peace. Not in political advantage taking. Not in media hype. And not in misinformation. Amen.

7. Whatever Happened To: I must have missed something. Benjamin Bratt, who last I heard was sacking with Julia Roberts, is leaving Law & Order "to spend more time with (his) family." Huh? What does that mean? Is he going to spend more time hanging out with Lyle Lovett, waiting for Julia to finish work? My guess is that Bratt is afraid, rightly, to admit that he's going to make a run at the movie business. Why rightly? The biggest thing Chris Noth has done sine leaving Law & Order is to do TV with dirty words and sex on HBO's Sex and the City. George Dzundza went back to playing sidekicks in big features before returning to TV in Jesse. Do you think that Law & Order is a little more prestigious? Jill Hennessey did get a female lead in Most Wanted, But still, her career highlight since leaving L&O is a Maxim cover. And Paul Sorvino, who came to the series as a movie star, hasn't played a major role in a major feature since, unless you count a brilliant Henry Kissinger in Oliver Stone's Nixon. My personal take on Bratt. Really good looking guy. Decent actor. Not a movie star. Less a movie star than the faded Andy Garcia. Hate to see him go. However, I am happy that his replacement is Jesse L. Martin, an actor who got a lot of attention for being abandoned by Ally McBeal: The TV Series first and then by Ally on the show. Unlike Andre Braugher on Homicide, Bratt is definitely replaceable.

6. Big Laugh: I was interested in John Lequizamo's negotiations to play the bad guy opposite Sam Jackson's Shaft in the re-make of the classic. But my favorite thing about the story from Variety was this sentence: " Leguizamo will next be seen in Disney's serial killer picture Summer of Sam, directed by Spike Lee." Disney's serial killer picture!!! I love that! It goes well with "Disney's lesbian series, Ellen" and "Disney's semi-nude savage feature, Tarzan."

5. How To Abuse A Presidency 1999: President Clinton went on the Today Show on Thursday and suggested that he was going to round up some important Hollywood folks to discuss a "national campaign" against school violence. He then went back to work on plans to increase the air war against Kosovo despite what was essentially a "no confidence in this war" vote by Congress the day before. You see, the proper weapon to use when you don't like to watch one group bully another in a conflict that you have nothing to do with is a smart missile dropped from a B-52, not a gun or a homemade bomb. Might is right. Of course, if you see that in a movie, you need to be protected, because when it comes to moral guidance, who better to look to than Bill Clinton?

4. How To Lose A Presidency 2000: Vice President Dan Quayle: "There are so many sexual messages in the media, I think it's fair to conclude that maybe one factor in the U.S. having the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the developed world is also the prevalence of sexualized messages, particularly in so much of the media.'' Oops! My mistake. This silly utterance was from the mouth of Al Gore. Perhaps America leads the world in teen pregnancy because we are the least sophisticated, most moralistic, hypocritically nation in the world when it comes to birth control. Anyone out there think teens are having less sex in other countries?

3. What's that Heaving Sound? : This year's Tony nominations will be presented in New York on Monday by Brian Dennehy, Calista Flockhart and James Gandolfini. Wait a minute. Has anyone ever seen Gandolfini and Dennehy in the same room? Aren't they the same guy? And is there a room big enough for both men to be in at the same time? Most importantly, will there be any food left for Calista "I've been eating... my finger" Flockhart?

2. On You Mark, Get Set, Shop!: Star Wars hype goes to the toy stores late Sunday night, as the stores are allowed to buy Star Wars: Episode One -- The Phantom Menace toys for the first time. It's not Lucasfilm's fault, but what could give a better message to the children of America than their parents going out at 12:01 a.m. on a school night to be the first to buy toys. You gotta have your priorities, right? Me, I'm saving up the $20,000 for an out-of-production Beanie Weenie, the X-rated Beanie Baby. Just in case you were worried, Toys-R-Us and FAO Schwartz locations across America will, in most cases, be open for your shopping pleasure Sunday night.

1. Food Fight!: The wrangling over Jeffrey Katzenberg's exit settlement from Disney is getting to be more and more of a playground fight. Everything each side does in court seems calculated to be as embarrassing to the other side as possible. I suspect we will soon hear about the time Eisner took "cuts" in the line at the Disney commissary and how Jeffrey tried to kill Eisner by getting him a strip-o-gram at the hospital after his heart attack. Next week, Disney counters the "did not" attack by Katzenberg with the classic, "I'm rubber, you're glue" defense and a check for $150 million.

READER OF THE DAY: Birmingham Al wrote: "David: Your story about guessing whether the original Star Wars was going to be any good dredged up a memory. Back then I wrote entertainment reviews for a free college newspaper. I was--and still am--a huge fan of good SF and fantasy, both films and books. My confession is that when I first saw the trailers for Star Wars, I groaned...the effects that they showed were not all that special and the epic scope of the plot was distilled into what appeared to be a simplistic, been-there-before story. I was prepared to be disappointed yet again--good SF on film was even rarer in those times. Fortunately, (written in my geezer voice) back in the old days, we journalists actually waited until the film came out to write our reviews. The film was wonderful, and the rest, as they say, was history..."

E ME: What are you more sick of: Pam's breasts, my attacks on Chuck Heston, Kosovo or teen movies? And send in your thoughts on all your weekend movie-going.