Friday, 4 June 1999

Geez, it's a boring weekend to preview. Star Wars: Episode One -- The Phantom Menace is now all about the financial countdown. I'd barely be writing about it at all if it weren't for the reporters who insist on spinning the story when there is no need (see below.) Instinct is the one wide release. (See below.) You may like or love Notting Hill, but is weekend two really exciting you? As Graham Verdon, co-editor of roughcut.com's Today Page, pointed out Never Been Kissed has been in the Top Ten for eight weeks (and will likely be a ninth) and is just about to pass the $50 million mark. Talk about excitement!

John Sayles' Limbo is opening in nine cities this weekend. I think it's a lovely little film with an ending that will have people talking and arguing. (I'll leave it for you to experience.) Great performances by David Strathairn (playing a character who Sayles must have subconsciously named after two members of the "New York Sack Exchange" of the early '80s, Joe Klecko and Mark Gastineau), Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio (finally in a role that really fits her looks and lets her show some calm) and the find of the film, Vanessa Martinez, who should be flown out to Hollywood and be teamed up with Natasha Lyonne in a teen remake of Thelma and Louise immediately. ("Oh no! We have to change the ending! Teenaged girls are so impressionable!") Good movie? Yes. Exciting? No.

How about this for excitement? Sony/Screen Gems sent some neat Limbo postcards. If you want one, send your name and address and I will, with my bad handwriting, address one to you and pay for a stamp! Whoo! (Limited to the first 5 requests, cause that's how many postcards I got.)

Of course, The Box Office Extra will appear, with all the screens counts and some number crunching, but the marketplace has pretty much done my work for me this week. Zzzzzzzz.

People keep telling me, "There's nothing I want to see!" Well, you still have a chance to catch up on some of the small films you missed from earlier this year. If there is a subtitled flick that you've been avoiding, push yourself. Or if you haven't seen Election. Or Trekkies. Or Limbo, for that matter. Take a break for art. (Though I have a feeling that if you are reading this column, you are already in the habit.)

THE GOOD: There are only a couple weeks of Star Wars madness left.

THE BAD: On Wednesday afternoon, I read two articles on Harry Knowles' Ain't It Cool News site. And I went wild. The articles, about two Universal projects were not only ill-informed and inaccurate on various details, but highlighted everything that is wrong with a site like AICN. Worse, they highlighted Harry's occasional rampant egomania, perhaps spurred on by producers negotiating with him to appear in one of a myriad of pilots aimed at the audience of the theoretically damaged "Siskel & Ebert" show. I wrote a quick and sharp tongued 1,300 words on the subject and sent it to some friends for reactions. They all agreed with everything I said, but also agreed that I was using a nuclear weapon against a third-world nation. That's not my wish. I have tried assiduously to keep my issues with Harry's column between he and I for a while now. But I really worry that a media culture of reporting the process of film, as opposed to the results, especially without context, is far more damaging to the work of artists than it could ever be helpful. I'm going to stop writing about the specific articles now because the absurd notion that Universal would somehow bury Man On The Moon is not even worthy of address. And if Harry thinks he should be controlling $80 million-plus decisions at Universal or any other studio, he should go out and try to make a $2 million film and see how easy that is. (tee-hee) I sit here at my computer and opine like some sort of silly demigod too, so how do I get off saying anything? Well, I draw lines that I consider moral. I respect people's right to do their work. And when they've actually done something, I feel free to criticize. That is, when I have the facts. The two most urgent things I've seen on AICN in the last two months were both off the mark (The Star Wars theater situation and the Man On The Moon reporting). If you can't show respect, you better have your facts right. And when you blow it, you better admit it as loudly as when you made the mistake. In the world I'd like to live in, if you want to be a real leader, you have to be a man of honor first. Aim higher, Harry. You certainly have the ability to do that.

THE UGLY or "SHOW ME THE MONKEY!": You guessed it. To call Instinct a dog would be to insult animals. I had the unmitigated agony of seeing The Thirteenth Floor and Instinct screened at the same theater, separated by just one short week. Ouch. Here's a supposed psychological thriller that opens with a credit sequence so loud that it made Armageddon sound like a silent movie. And the saddest part (as with The Thirteenth Floor) was that the work of the actors, DP, set designer and most of the techs was top notch (though this is hardly Hopkins best work). The director and screenwriter share the blame for mis-conceptualizing what could have been a good story. Particularly in burying the Maura Tierney character in nothingness when she was, indeed, the missing link of the entire movie. The effort to analogize between a prison and the jungle required some real subtle directorial and writing skill and there was none on display here. And in the film, what was meant to be heart-stopping became a running gag as something jumped at the camera, screamed or slammed into a wall every 3.5 minutes as though you might forget the theme, which apparently was loudness. And then compare a film like this to the tiny My Son, The Fanatic, which essentially asks the same questions in far less dramatic fashion and you appreciate the small film even more. Disney, like Sony last week, tried to sneak one into the Star Wars blockade. Well, it may be an eight figure opener, but expect more than a few people to ask for their money back. I didn't pay for it and I want mine back.


"Crap, Chicks And Billy Friedkin Flicks"