8 June 1999

On The International Market: "The only growth in the film business today is overseas. The business used to be 60-40 domestic. But now it's the opposite. 40 percent domestic-60 percent overseas. We are 5 percent of the world's population. It's easier to hit the 95 percent than to drop deeper into the 5 percent. Right now, the U.S. box office is 15 percent of the revenue of a picture. But that's all anyone cares about. Video is the biggest source of revenue-40 percent on a worldwide basis."

On DVD And Why Fox Has Taken So Long To Get In: "Studios did two things which were completely detrimental to their own health. One was revenue sharing and the other was DVD, in an inappropriate basis as opposed to a sensible basis and have now jeopardized that revenue stream which is beyond my comprehension. There's a digital future out there. Is it going to happen on disc or is it going to happen on tape? Who cares? As long as your revenue is stable and not growing, you would do that. But right now, DVD has launched and caught a foothold. It's now maybe 5 percent of the revenue inside video. But now they are selling discs at $19 with the revenue coming back to the studio of about $12, as compared to $60 if you were selling the tape. You'll see in the next year, the launch of digital video tape, which will allow dual formats."

The closing seminar, entitled "Laughter, The Silent Killer, for no apparent reason, was just plain fun. The only problem was that it took about 45 minutes to get rolling due to 20 minutes of "thanks yous" and a 25 minute written introduction by the funny but aging Hal Kanter. Of course, part of the fun of watching Kanter work through his writing was knowing that Albert Brooks would eventually explode all over him and Brooks did not disappoint. Once Brooks broke the ice with a perfectly timed 8-letter curse in response to part of an introduction, Norm McDonald joined in on the fun. Poor Hal Kanter was left trying to find his next line. Much of the conversation focused on favorite and least favorite comedians. Jack Benny seemed to be the consensus hero. And Adam Sandler took the weight of the most attacks. Brooks raged that, "Crap is just crap. It doesn't matter whether it's popular, does it?" But Kanter really encapsulated the issue with his "Who the hell asked for another Jerry Lewis?" But what was perhaps the most interesting element of the "Quality vs. Popularity" argument was what seemed to be real hurt on the part of Norm McDonald, a close friend of Sandler, who kept fighting to the end. But you could tell that he was unhappy being ganged up on and that the fact that he respected the gang made it even worse.

Brooks told a great story about his belief that there has never been a truly funny president. "Anything they say other than `we're sending in troops' gets a laugh." He didn't seem very interested in talking about his upcoming film The Muse, other than to relate that the film is about a screenwriter who goes to Paramount with his latest script and is told that his career is at an end. And that he was told just that when he brought The Muse to Paramount. He also talked about a conversation with a colleague who asked Brooks after one strenuous fight, "Why did you always take the hard road?" Brooks replied, "What makes you think I see two roads?" Wow. That one hit home.

McDonald broke everyone up, including Brooks, with his admission that he can't really act. He just rewrites scripts because if they stretch him as an actor too much, he just can't do it. I'd relate some of the great stuff from the other panelists, Janeane Garafolo, Harry Shearer, James L. Brooks, Ed Solomon and David Zucker, but they were just funny and charming. Their stuff won't travel. Though Jim Brooks was excited to be able to rush to the defense of both Sandler and Steve Martin, who passed on the "s**t" script for Sgt. Bilko that Martin ended up doing. ("Here's an idea. Take a classic and remake it, but do it really, really badly. Great idea!") Martin was praised for pushing his audience's envelope between commercial pictures.

I know that I've just given you a slice of a big fat weekend of pie, but next time, you'll just have to go for yourself. One local reader sent a note that he would have gone, but he thought it was just another writing scam. And indeed, it was one of the flaws of the weekend that the Guild had a "trade fair" that was made up, in part, of completely worthless writing business slicksters. But that didn't put a damper on the event. I never even stopped to watch them sell (kind of like avoiding a 3-Card Monte table in Times Square.) The weather was great. Wish you were there.

READER OF THE DAY: KC was first in with the answer to yesterday's movie info request. And he was thorough. Too thorough to print the whole thing. However: "The film described by the ROTD sounds like Just Your Luck, a 1996 telefilm. The Real Reason (Men Commit Crimes) is an Atlanta-based indie film, with WCW's Sting, a.k.a. Steve Borden. It is in fest application hell, currently.

And this from Peter, who took the Jennifer Lopez metaphors a step further for me: "The Lopez vid: Then some guy (Same one?) dives into a "pool" where the computer "sits on the bottom" -- uh, is that gross, metaphorically speaking, or what, given Ms. Lopez's truly awesome physical claim to fame?"

E ME: But, Peter! I mean, BUTT Peter! My guns are being loaded as I write that. The next couple of columns should be a blast. IN the meantime, what is your position on "Popular vs. Good?" Do they have to conflict? Is Albert Brooks just being a tight ass? Must Adam Sandler be stopped?