Weekend, 19 June 1999

NEWS BY THE NUMBERS

10. GUNS, GUNS, GUNS: Just when you thought it was safe to pretend that show business didn't love violence, the L.A. County's Sheriff's Office is starting an "executive reserves" program for celebrities which includes a badge and a carry permit for celebrities who take a 64-hour training program. The initial focus is, for some reason, on Jay Leno and Steven Seagal, both of whom seem ready to pass on the gun part, Leno because he's anti-violence and Seagal because they can't find a holster big enough to fit around his belly. I think it's great that the Sheriff's Department is thinking of new and creative ways to get celebrities to become involved with community policing, but the timing on this initiative ranks right up there with a 15-year-old boy trying to use the withdraw method of birth control. It could get messy.

9. HE PUT THE "F" in **CK: Imagine Entertainment has struck a deal with Hugh Hefner to make a feature out of Hefner's life and times. After all, if people will pay to see Austin Powers get laid, why not Hef. (Though I wonder where they will find enough actresses without implants to bring authenticity to his pre-1985 playmates.) So answer me this: how much will Jim Carrey be paid to play the role?

8. DOWNEY & OUT-EY: Word is that Robert Downey has been excised from the cast of NBC's new primetime animated show, "God, the Devil and Bob." No word on specifically why, but given that the Devil character was said by the creators to be based specifically on Downey, one would have to guess that Downey is walking dangerously close to the thin white line again. That's not to say that he's relapsed, but rather to say that his behavior must be scaring people. He is still considered a major cost factor for movie producers, given the very expensive completion bond costs if you have him in your film. And just last week, I was told that he was willing to work for less than $25,000 a week if someone would hire him. You probably recall the enormous outpouring of support for the very, very talented Downey during the most treacherous time of his recently rocky journey. Most of those folks seem to have faded back into the woodwork as it's become clear that love the guy or not, he's no longer good (read: safe) business. Let's hope he gets it turned around. It would a see all that talent go to waste, even if Downey did do it to himself.

7. HIT IT, ANDY: In a world where film criticism has become just another broadcast job for most, Andrew Sarris remains one of the very best. In fact, I have liked reading him better in the last couple of years then ever before. This week in The New York Observer, Sarris writes comprehensively about the issue of violence in the movies. I don't agree with everything he says, but I hope you'll take a few minutes and read his thoughtful opinions. Click here for the column.

6. FIGHTING FOR BREATHING ROOM: Late in the week, Fox officially decided to move Fight Club, the Brad Pitt/Edward Norton/David Fincher drama to the fall. Whenever a studio movies a high profile movie, the gossip mill starts looking for a good negative reason for the move. I don't think there is one here. God knows, Fox puts out some bad movies each year, just like everyone else. If they try to sell me on the long-shelved Brokedown Palace as a lost masterpiece, I will certainly be suspicious. But the early word on this film was "dark and difficult" and that continues to be the word. Which is not to say that the film isn't good. It just isn't perfect summer fare. So, why did they have it scheduled for August in the first place? Well, alternative programming of August used to work. But with New Line's success in exploiting late August, suddenly it has become a hot month for off-beat releases. My bet is that Fox learned from the beating that Universal took on Out of Sight last summer. Don't swim upstream unless you are a salmon. Now, I only hope that Fight Club is as good as Out of Sight.

5. KATZ & MOUS - DAY 4,000: The Disney/Katzenberg story has bored me to tears for weeks. I mean, it's been like a Julia Roberts movie about a porn star: all kinds of greasy, horny hype and a no-nudity clause. The most fun I've had so far though came this week, as Jeffrey Katzenberg's obviously excessive valuation of his bonus has been ripped apart not only on subjective issues, but on objective ones as well. $10 million here, $143 million there. This guy on the stand, Michael J. Wolf (so close to TV stardom) has admitted three errors of calculation in three days of testimony. But he's only a seven-figure-a-year number cruncher for the Booz Allen & Hamilton management consulting firm. So it's understandable that he got caught wit his thumb on the calculator as he weighed the future. I just don't want the guy balancing my checkbook.

4. DON'T TOUCH THAT CORNERSTONE: The magnificent Titanic Baja Studio in Mexico is having a little labor dispute. Well, maybe not so little. But it's in everyone's interest to work it out, so I'm sure they will resolve it. What struck me funny was the Spanish names for the unions, which more accurately reflect the underlying truth than our American union names do. They are Sindicato de Trabajadores Técnicos y Manuales de la Producción Cinematográfica (or StyM, not named, I don't think, for the "Our Gang" character) and Sindicato de Trabajadores del Industria del Cine (or STIC, as in "Stick It To Them"). It's the first word or each group that hits home for me. And when I say, "hits home," I'm not asking for a hit in my home. I'm just kidding guys...no..not my thumbs...I have to be able to type...what have I done?

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