Weekend, 24-25 July 1999

NEWS BY THE NUMBERS

It's three fat pages of News By The Numbers this weekend. Better get started...

10. EAT ME, DUDE!: In Friday's Daily Variety, Michael Fleming was given the task of announcing the first projects that Lucas Foster got together for his and Jan DeBont's Blue Tulip Productions. The film is an adaptation of the Pete Dexter novel The Paperboy, not to be confused with a Jerry Lewis movie of any kind. Fleming goes on to acquit DeBont of all charges against him in the "I made Speed 2 and it sucks" argument. It's now Fox's fault exclusively because Keanu Reeves dropped out. Were it only that simple. As I recall, Jan was rather proud of the fact that he got Jason Patric onto the picture against Fox's initial concerns. Whatever. What was even more interesting is that Pedro Almodovar will direct an English-language film for the first time and that it's for United Artists. What this probably means - since they carefully don't point anything out about it - is that the film will be budgeted under $20 million, maybe under $10 million, given that UA is now "that kind of studio." DeBont also offers this horror to add to the hideous The Haunting, now making people nap in a theater near you: Food! He wants to make a Toy Storyesque CG movie about food coming to life. Can't wait to see the undigested corn make a snappy joke about needing help to get out of the bowl after it zings through the digestive track. Heee-larious!

9. BO NO!: One thing about Bowfinger I forgot to mention. There are a number of Kennedy jokes in the film. This is not exactly like premiering The Matrix the day after Columbine (which we all know is impossible because The Matrix caused Columbine, right?). But you can be sure to read about these jokes in almost every single review. I bet they'll stay in for one reason. They're funny.

8. OBSERVE THIS #1: I've caught up on some back reading of the New York Observer and the mine has been rich. Ron Rosenbaum writes: "The Overratedness of 2001: Isn't it about time someone said it? This photographer I know, let's call her "Nicole" - called me one night from the darkroom with a question. She'd been up developing some work and she'd had the television on in another part of her loft and there was this weird sci-fi movie on she'd caught a glimpse of. From what she could tell, she said it was "just a bunch of apes gibbering at each other with all this pretentious cinematography and no voiceover." Did I have any idea what the film was?" Ultimately, Rosenbaum concludes: "It is gibberish: 2001 may be the single most overrated work of art in the cinema if not in the culture." And then he admits: "I asked one of (the film's fans) to explain the relationship between the David Lynch-style dream sequence and the birth of the star child...but there is no answer, because it's an incoherent work of art. And not in a good way." In other words, I don't understand...I can't get enough perspective to separate Kubrick and Lynch...screw it, it sucks. This is where the audience is to blame for the cinema they get. If you can't get it quickly, glimpsing it from another room on your 250 channel satellite dish, judge it and eviscerate it. Even grown-up, should-know-better-than-that critics have done just this to Eyes Wide Shut. Don't focus on the inaccessibility of it and deal with the maze. Attack, attack, attack. And do it quickly. I like reading Rosenbaum and often agree with him and, to be fair, he is not a film critic, so he has no rules to live up to. But here is a smart man, who is interested in the arts, who can't take the time to answer his own questions. Too bad. (This is where I was going to make a joke about Charlie's Angels: The Movie, but I really don't mind that film or the other dumb stuff being in the mix. It can be great fun. I just wish that the work that was more demanding had some room to breath in today's culture. And I won't blame TV, especially when there are film critics out there perpetuating myopia.)

7. SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU: A loyal reader from Singapore wrote in and I'm giving the roughcut.com staff a button as a result. "Guess what I got today? I got a package delivery by DHL from the U.S., I opened it up and found out it contained four boxes of Smint and a Baseball Cap with the 'Smint' Logo. Then I realized it's the prize from the 'Austin Power(s)' sweeptake(s) contest from TNT's roughcut.com (W)ebsite. I am so shocked and glad and it is unbelievable that I am truly a winner who lives outside of America! Most (W)ebsite contests or sweep(s)takes never give their prizes to someone who does not live in North America, but you guys make a great exception that I love so much!! Please tell everybody at roughcut.com that your Website and you and your column mean lots to an unemployed guy like me. Once again, I want to say roughcut.com is the best thing in the world. It makes me feel cheerful and is more fun than sex. Steve Chien-Wei, Weng" There you go. Roughcut.com...better than sex. Now THERE'S a pull quote!

6. ONE HIT: One of my favorites from Sundance is finally in the marketplace...if you live in Australia. Two Hands, the teen/gangster/thriller/horror/comedy from director Gregor Jordan finally premiered in Australia this week and Miramax promptly signed Jordan up to a three-picture, first-look deal. Smart. This guy will make them money. The film was the first look I had at Heath Ledger, who hit American soil and stood out in 10 Things I Hate About You and is about to start shooting the Mel Gibson/Roland Emmerich film The Patriot as Gibson's son. Showtime has the rights, as best I know, for America on this movie. I hope they'll try to give it a theatrical life, like they did for Sunset Park. If you liked Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels, this film will knock you on your ass. It's a lot less showy and yet, it's smarter and infinitely more memorable. When Jordan goes for an extreme bit, he makes it fit into the movie. He doesn't just make it explode in your face. I expected nothing from this movie when I dragged my butt to it at a 9am press screening, and it's one of the few movies I was glad I woke up for. (Another one of I was glad to be up for was Mike Figgis' The Loss of Sexual Innocence, which Chris Weitz suggested Thursday night in our chat - transcripts available next week - may have been his least favorite movie ever. Chocolate and vanilla. Vanilla and chocolate.)

PAGE TWO: "Kubrick Books, Saturday Night Pre-Sold And MGM Oh Man"