2 February 2000

But none of these personal maneuvers serve you, the readers. And your willingness to indulge my thoughts, whether on the 'Net or radio or TV, is what makes my comments valuable to a movie or filmmaker. The higher up the food chain one rises, the harder to maintain that distance. Do I really have a problem with the folks from Entertainment Weekly? No. I have content issues, sure. But the reality is that many of them are young people caught up in the power of the title. It is so easy to think that because you are with a popular magazine that you are right...that you should not be challenged. But that is absurd. It is precisely when you have that power that you need to be challenged the most. That is, if you really care about your work and not just about your power.

It is hard to remember that this is not a game. Especially when the artists themselves treat it like one. There are lots of movies and filmmakers who got attention in Park City who will not get any attention at the box office...perhaps not even distribution. The warmth of the Park City experience was the highlight. But only for now. When jury members take the stage at the award ceremony and remember how wonderful Sundance was for them, they are only there because they are amongst the few who survived that wonderfulness. Which is not a criticism of Sundance. It is the reality of human nature. A painful reality.

And though it's rarely discussed, that reality extends to those of us in the press corps as well. Our egos are every bit as much in play as theirs. In fact, we tend to have even less restraint of ego because we know where our next paycheck is coming from when we arrive in the SLC airport.

I'm sure I'll get a few e-mails from colleagues berating me for exposing myself this much. As you can tell, I don't have a lot of answers yet. It is the nature of the human ego to seek comfort. Like a drug, if we can choose between self-aggrandizement and the work, even if the choice puts us in peril, we will choose self-aggrandizement. And I'm only human. I'm certainly not above such self-indulgence.

I always think of the genius of Jeffrey Katzenberg's sophomore slump letter, which got (probably intentionally) leaked out of Disney. Katzenberg took a lot of heat for that letter, but he was dead on. Freshman success is one of the most dangerous things in the world. Because not only does sophomore year bring new challenges, but it brings twists on the old ones.

There is a great freedom in being a secret. The more publicists and studio execs read this column, the more "power" I have...but the more calls I get questioning what I wrote. And the more I might think twice about telling some conception I have of the truth. The more "power" I think I have, the more likely I am to wield it instead of just write. The more "power" I have, the more I have to lose.

Reading this column, I'm sure that many of you have ideas of what I am as a person. And you are probably right. It is a running gag that I meet people and they are shocked about what a nice person I am in real life after reading my platitudes in this column. But at 1500-2000 words a day, I don't think I can hide too much.

And so, I ask you all, with as much humility as this egomaniac can muster... keep reminding me of where I stand. I don't know where the next year will take me, but I expect great things of myself and of roughcut. I love the idea that we can add to the conversation about great film. I love the idea that we can add to the conversation on big, brassy money-hungry films. I love the magic of a darkening theater still. I see that love replaced by other things in some other people. And I am afraid. But all the best things in life are part fear, part passion, part intellect, part lust... aren’t they. 2000 has now officially begun. Long live 2000.

"2000 words from ROTDs today... and more deserved space"