Weekend, 3-4 June 2000

NEWS BY THE NUMBERS

I've been saying it all week and it's true. There is NOTHING happening worth reporting. I could only squeak out seven numbers for this column and I don't know that any but one or two would even qualify in a good news week. My apologies. If it weren't for death, near death and bad writing, I would hardly have any numbers at all. And so, I hope you have a great weekend. I hope you see Shanghai Noon if you haven't. And I'll try to make Hollywood do something interesting over the weekend.

7. Bombing Pearl Harbor: It's interesting. I like bashing Michael Bay as much as anyone. I don't particularly like his films and his personality, when he doesn't want something from you (or from your Website), is as Hollywood as Hollywood has ever been. Yet, when the New York Post's Page Six reports that the budget on Pearl Harbor is careening out of control based on one report, which seems to be absolutely true, that real-life soldiers were used instead of union extras and that there has been huge turnover in the group, who found out that being an extra isn't really fun…well, I have to take pause. Jerry Bruckheimer has used every possible trick to keep this budget down to $135 million. It is rumored that his contract makes him personally responsible for at least some part of any overages there are on the movie. Of course, that doesn't likely mean he has to write a check, but rather that he won't be seeing a first-day gross percentage until the overages are paid back. Nonetheless, if he lets things get out of control, it will cost him and it will cost him more of the dollars. He will lose reputation points. I'm sure that Pearl Harbor will go at least $20 million over budget. It's pulled too tight budgetarily not to do that. But I'm not sure that this is the straw or the camel.

6. Flaming Fleming: So I'm listening to the radio on Thursday and there is Charles Fleming, who is now the twice-weekly columnist at Mr. Showbiz, doing his "Deadline Hollywood" report on local NPR outlet KCRW, a station I love. Fleming essentially transcribes his on-air piece as one of his weekly columns and then writes another. I don't bother reading them because they tend to be embarrassingly short sighted. However, as I'm sitting there listening to Fleming on the radio and hear him say, "I don't understand the box office," which I'm sure he meant facetiously, he then went on to explain why he doesn't understand it: it doesn't do what he wants it to do. This on-air piece suffered from one of the most prevalent occupational hazards of writing about Hollywood. You start to think that you and your colleagues and friends should set the mindset of the entire moviegoing world. Now, I certainly admit that I can be passionate about certain movies not living up to the excitement that people seem to feel about them. But I do try to listen to other points of view. And while they don't change my opinion, they do have meaning. And apparently, they have meaning to the Mr. Showbiz editors as well. When I went to go see this week's "Deadline Hollywood" in print to link to this button, I found that Fleming's most extreme comments seemed to go missing. Like the box office admission, facetious or not. I seem to remember a comment about Hollywood conning "us" every year. (Fleming uses "us" in this article as though he were like more than 3 percent of the population.) And he takes the easy way out, blaming teenage boys for movies he doesn't like doing well, adding his belief that they don't read criticism as part of their failing. Frankly, I think that criticism is better read after you've seen a movie. That's why I try not to get into many details in the criticism in this column. The experience should be yours…not mine.

Fleming also lumps together Wild Wild West, The General's Daughter, Armageddon, Batman & Robin, The Flintstones, Maverick and Congo as though they were all of the exact same stripe. Well, perhaps to him. But I would guess that most people would say that they liked at least two of these 7 movies. The idea that The General's Daughter, which had solid legs based on good word-of-mouth last year, was the same as Wild Wild West or Batman & Robin, which opened huge and fell off huge as well, is stupid. Armageddon obviously found a loyal audience, even if I still don't believe that the final figure was really the just-over-$200 million that was reported. All in all, he proves his on-air conjecture that he doesn't understand the box office. Perhaps it's time to start teaching in Arizona. (To read the quite different, but still chock full o' absurdity piece, click here.)

5. The Ebert Trend: After Roger Ebert's Overlooked Film Festival pushed 70mm last year and Todd A-O this year, another format is being revived for a festival screening. Paul Allen, the man who put together Microsoft now has re-built the only theatrical Cinerama screen in the world for the Seattle Film Festival. That's three projectors showing one movie on a 98 foot long curved screen. Whoa. Only in Seattle. And apparently, only for one Friday. (Too late, missed it.) They showed This Is Cinerama and How the West Was Won on Friday, June 2. The Seattle Film Festival is reporting that fans are flying in from as far away as Australia to see the screening. I'm hopeful, there will be more to come.

4. Kiss & Smell: The latest exposé set to hit Hollywood comes from Joe Eszterhas, who was the highest paid screenwriter in the world for a while…until the movies got made. He will, of course, always be remembered as the guy who went typewriter to typewriter against Mike Ovitz, prompting Ovitz to threaten to "send his foot soldiers up and down Wilshire Blvd." against dainty, innocent old Joe. According to British tabloids, the book won't name real names, but will feature readily identifiable stars like Sharon Stone, Michael Douglas, Sylvester Stallone and Richard Gere. It should be, like the best of Eszterhas, absolute crap and a real fun read.

3. Bob Lives: I spent Thursday in screening rooms as other entertainment reporters scrambled for phones…"Is he dead yet?" The "he" in question was Bob Hope. There was no doubt in their minds that Hope had none. It was over. But come Friday morning, his critical condition was no longer said to be life threatening. The saddest part of the whole cycle was, reporters in their 40s and 50s, and people over 50, are about the only people left who will care when one of the true kings of Hollywood passes. Bob Hope has kind of outlived his slot. The last decade of NBC specials were just plain creepy, not fun. And as performer after performer builds off of a foundation he created, Bob Hope is a very, very old reflection of memories that are now fading. And that's too bad.

2. Still the Man: He's not a movie guy, but the death of Tito Puente struck me hard. He was 77, but unlike Hope, Puente was still working until recently. It seemed the older he got, the more you saw him. He won a Grammy this February for his "Mambo Birdland" album. And now he is gone. He will be missed, but his music will live on and on and on.

1. You Got Your Eyeball In My Razor Blade: Speaking of great revival news, Rialto Pictures is striking new prints of five Luis Buñuel movies, and plans on releasing them theatrically over the next year. The films are The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie, Diary of a Chambermaid, The Milky Way, The Phantom of Liberty and That Obscure Object of Desire. This may be the first time an entire generation of film lovers gets to see these film properly projected, given the near-death of campus film societies and revival houses in this country. StudioCanal is also bringing its resources to the project.

READER OF THE DAY: This is from the American Movie mailing list: "***URGENT! WE NEED HELP! American Movie was released last week on VHS and DVD and is at your local video store now! Big problem: we've heard major retail stores are only stocking 1-2 copies for sale or rent, grossly underselling the movie!

YOU CAN HELP! If you go to your local stores to rent or buy the movie and it's sold out OR they only have a few copies, ask the manager of the store to order at least 10 more ASAP!

ALSO, CALL THIS NUMBER: 310-244-4000 and ask to speak to Marshall Forrestor--he's a top exec of sales at Sony and needs to hear the demand for more copies!!!!!

One last chance to catch it on the big Screen! American Movie to re-open in select theaters.

Full week runs at: May 19th / New York City / Cinema Village May 26th / Portland / Bagdad Cafe May 26th / Charlottesville / Vinegar Hill

American Movie in the UK!!! See playdates for theaters and dates so far."

E ME: Did anything happen in your life this week?