Friday, 2 February 2001

WEEKEND PREVIEW

Try to remember...that weekend in September...when The Watcher was #1 because everything else sucked so bad. Try to remember...the weekend after that weekend in September...when the only movie to really try to see was a 27-year-old priest-n-puke classic. Try to remember...this weekend in September...when a 5-year-old movie that was never really released is your best second choice opening wide...and vomit...vomit, vomit, vomit, vooooommmmit...

Ahhh, back in the weekend saddle again. It seems like forever. And in one way, it looks like it will be forever. I think that Brandon Gray will be taking over Box Office Extra duties from me on a permanent basis. That will change this column a little, but I'm hopeful, for the better. I'd love to hear from more of you who read that section about how you've liked Brandon's work there. And in the meantime, check out this week's B.O.E by clicking here after noon, PST.

I have certainly been blessed to miss a big old load of junk in the last three weekends. I haven't seen Nurse Betty and I really like Almost Famous, but outside of that...YEEECCCHHH! And if ever there was a weekend in which a studio could take control, this is another one. I was really happy to see The Exorcist on the big screen again and suggest it for anyone who leans even a little bit in that direction. Outside of that, you have a movie that's been sitting in the can for 5, count 'em, 5 years. And it still has no stars, no real cache, even if it is the longest-running show ever, and no chance of drawing an audience. Our own Andy Klein liked the movie, so I'll give it a break (also, considering I haven't seen it). But it sure doesn't seem like a world beater. Then you have your new meat...a sequel, which is what passes for new this time of year, to a 1998 movie that I considered one of that year's very worst. (And I must say, it's a little creepy to now be prepping to pan a sequel to a movie I panned while writing this column...I must have been doing this for a while.)

On a happier note, there is a cute, sexy flick called Woman on Top from Fina Torres and starring that "she's gonna be a massive star after this one... no, really, this one is it" beige goddess, Penélope Cruz. (She is soooo tiny!) There is also a Gene Hackman/Morgan Freeman movie around called Under Suspicion, which is opening too quietly to be anything but under suspicion itself. And The Decalogue finally hits Los Angeles movie screens.

THE GOOD OR THE BAD: I really can't decide whether the Warner Bros. hire of Darren Aronofsky to co-write and to direct Batman: Year One is good or bad. Somehow it fits...particularly as he'll be co-writing with comic book genius (no overstatement) Frank Miller, who created "Batman: Year One" in the comics. There is a sensibility that Aronofsky brings that is every bit as edgy as the worlds that Miller creates. But can Warner Bros. allow a Batman as dark as the one this team seems sure to want to deliver? According to studio publicists., Lorenzo DiBonaventura picked Aronofsky after being taken with Aronofsky's new film, Requiem For A Dream. The question is, can Aronofsky deliver as a director as well as he delivers as a conceptual artist? We shall see.

THE UGLY: The latest heat on Capitol Hill is for an anti-trust exemption allowing Hollywood (aka The Evil Monolith) to set its own "enforceable code of conduct" regarding content. Unbelievable! The idea was presented as something good for Hollywood because it would allow us to do it to ourselves instead of having Washington do it for us. Of course, everyone seems to understand that all this talk is borderline anti-constitutional (or at least anti-Bill of Rights), so by taking the responsibility on in Hollywood, Orrin Hatch could get the industry to do the dirty work that he and his legislative pals aren't legally able to do even if they so wish.

The biggest laugh of this one is that the FTC, which stoked this fire with its iffy report, doesn't even think that this exemption idea would lead to a constitutionally-valid solution.

It was Hilary Rosen, president of the Recording Industry Assn. of America (RIAA), who hit the nail on the head regarding all of this fiery rhetoric. She said, in Congressional testimony, "Principally, I fear there may be an unstated expectation in the granting of this exemption that we develop a universal ratings system or create an 'industry code' to prohibit the sale or marketing of certain products. In such an expectation lies the greatest danger of all -- that of restraining sales to and by retailers of certain products based on subjective analyses of the content of protected speech." The SUBJECTIVE content of free speech...that is what this is really all about, no? After all, sometimes a banana is just a banana.

RADIO RADIO: George and I are live from the L.A. County Fair this weekend, with special guest Ray Greene, author of Hollywood Migraine, a book of columns, interviews and reviews he's done over the years for all kinds of movie publications. 11am PST on KABC-790 or kabc.com.

EYE ON CHINA: Another story about the nation I just recently returned from...Click here.

READER OF THE DAY: GuZ writes: Hey! Just got a sneak at the Portland Creative Conference of 12 min of the new Sean Connery/Gus van Sant Finding Forrester. Columbia will release on Christmas day. Having read the script and now having seen this crumb, it is easy to predict without scientific reliability that this flick will end up with some nominations next year. Keep it on your radar. That's all you need right, another film to watch..."

And politics live at THB. This came from Johnnie E: "I consider myself fairly conservative, and I dislike the demonization of conservatives in this country, but I understand when guys like Pat Buchanan (who abandoned most of his principles in the name of $12 mil in federal funds) make themselves such easy targets. I considered myself Republican under Reagan, but more and more I'm seeing my ideals and values are more embodied by the Independent American Party or the Libertarian Party rather than what the Republicans are becoming.

The current saber-rattling is due to Clinton; he issued a one-year report as a kneejerk reaction to Columbine. The whole warning-label thing goes back directly to Tipper Gore in the 1980s with offensive lyrics.

The current political atmosphere is too linear. It isn't, "you're a liberal or conservative or somewhere in between." I reject that, if for any other reason, that form of thinking is polarizing America. Bush is not evil; Gore is not evil. Between the two, I'd rather have Bush, but what I'd really like to see Howard Phillips or Harry Browne on TV instead of being ignored.

The current frenzy against the media for corrupting our kids is because too many parents believe there are too many bad parents or non-parents out there. Most parents who want more censorship believe they're themselves doing a good job, but they're too afraid their neighbor is letting their kid surf porn sites, build homemade bombs, and plot mortal revenge on bullies. After Columbine, it was clear the Harris parents and the Klebold parents weren't paying much attention to what was going on. Granted, kids are sneaky. But come on! Make sacrifices and be with your kids more. "Quality time" is a euphemism for "I spend about 1/5 of the time with my kid than what my parents spent with me."

Awkward segue back to movies: Scary Movie didn't have to be as offensive as it was (and it should have been NC-17) but when There's Something About Mary manages $170 million, the Wayans say to themselves, "Hmm, cash to be made by semen jokes." And they were right.

Meanwhile cleaner films like The Phantom Menace and The Sixth Sense also make huge bucks, so there are diverse audiences out there.

Don't go calling McCain "McCarthy", though, because when one side starts invoking the sacred names of Hitler, Stalin or McCarthy, they're using exaggerated emotional appeals and I tune out their argument. Might as well call McCain satanic.

Still, as a film fan, I recognize Fight Club as a great violent movie with the central message being against violence and the mob mentality. I see Eyes Wide Shut as a great movie with un-erotic nudity that had the central theme of "Stay faithful to your spouse!" Others may not get these films, and to them I say "Don't see them."

I think filmmakers are pushing the limit of what they can do. I think 90-something percent of nude scenes are gratuitous. I think many resort to shock to hide that they can't master how else to jolt your senses. But I don't think we need senate hearings on the subject. It wouldn't kill me to agree with someone whose views I dislike if we happen to agree on a subject. If Geraldo and I both believe this particular thing is true, great. And since Geraldo's probably my least-favorite TV journalist ever, don't go beating yourself up because Lynne Cheney and you both believe the same thing in one area. It should all be about getting to the truth, it should be about digging through the spin, and to vehemently resent agreeing with someone on ANYTHING is beyond polarization, it's dehumanizing them, and it's a lot easier to hate an enemy you don't consider human."

E ME: Has anyone liked a movie lately?