12 March 2001

THE GOOD: A.I. - Steven Spielberg’s film based on the long-gesticulating Stanley Kubrick project has a very simple, very E.T. trailer with no footage from the film, only a hint at what is coming. Haley Joel Osment gets a chance to work in white face make-up and none of the 99 percent white crowd seemed politically disturbed in the least. It didn’t say much about the movie, but it does suggest a very creative approach to marketing, which is always welcome.

Harry Potter & The Sorcerer’s Stone.- I saw this trailer on the web a couple of weeks (and a hard drive) ago and thought it looked pretty good there. On the big screen, it was even more impressive. Seeing it, I both thought how much I wished that George Miller or Terry Gilliam was making the film and how we may have all been dead wrong about mocking the choice of Chris Columbus. The film looks like a classic, big time, Warner Bros. hit... lush and good looking and not all that complicated. In other words, quality cinema for the masses.

Rock Star - At first, the idea of Mark Wahlberg going back in time again, knowing that Rollergirl won’t be there to get him - and us - off, struck me badly. But this trailer really sold this movie to me in a way that made me want to pay money to see where it all went. The basic premise is that a rock star wannabe gets to join the band of his dreams... and that’s when it gets interesting. At least, I hope so.

The Heist - It took a minute plus for me to realize that Rebecca Pidgeon plus Ricky Jay plus some incredibly sharp lines equaled David Mamet. Add Gene Hackman and Danny DeVito and Delroy Lindo and a story that seems to be the kind that Mamet writes best (greed and darkness) combined with a sense of humor reminiscent of State & Maine and I’m in line already.

Hearts in Atlantis - There wasn’t much to see, but Anthony Hopkins as God (or something like God) in a movie based on a Stephen King book got my attention.

Cats & Dogs - A broad comedy about the secret (agent) life of animals gets better looking every time I see it... probably because they get more and more of the effects done.

Osmosis Jones - The trailer they cut for ShoWest was about 50 percent live action and 50 percent animation. I got the impression when touring the animation studios that it is more like 80-20 in the actual film. But what they showed looked like a hit to me. They pushed Bill Murray, who plays a guy who will eat anything. Inside his body, the battle is on to kill the deadly virus he has brought home after eating an egg that has been in places ranging from a dung soiled floor to a monkey’s mouth. Murray looks to be very funny, but it is the very hip animation and the comedy team of Chris Rock and David Hyde Pearce that I think will make this one of the big summer movies.

THE BAD: The Affair of the Necklace - Hillary Swank takes it off, all off, in this costume drama that seemed like a drag even before we got to hear about that ridiculous title. She is definitely a girl. That may be enough for a Maxim cover, but it’s not enough to draw me to the movie.

Angel Eyes - Jennifer Lopez is the cop. Jim Caviezal is the heavenly creature. Director Luis Mandoki got me with Message in a Bottle, but is still probably best known as the guy who shot the best mainstream feature performance of oral sex ever in White Palace. I just pray that the film is better than this clip.

The Dish /Pokemon 3 - I love The Dish and I’m sure that I’ll manage to avoid installment three in the Pokemon series but, regardless, I was surprised that both of these films were left off the studio’s reel. The Dish is opening in a couple of cities this weekend, but still, given Dan Fellman’s very real commitment to the film, I would have expected a spirited Vegas kick-off for the film.

Driven - Stallone. Harlin. Samaha. Brains Wide Shut. This trailer was damn near shocking. Most of the action involves race car parts flying through the air. They did the "thing flying at the camera" gag, made famous by Twister’s trailer, twice. Why? Apparently they didn’t have anything better to show. The dialogue was mumbled that it was almost impossible to figure out just how uninteresting it was. Kip Purdue, God bless him, is not a compelling screen presence. He may be a good actor and a nice kid, but he doesn’t have "it." The other new guys in the film were completely undeveloped in the trailer. Seems like the same old thing. It will do better than some of Stallone’s recent disasters... but don’t count on too much from this one.

Exit Wounds - Steven Seagal is back... and he’s been to Weight Watchers. Seagal is the low-talking tough guy. DMX is the black guy who goes undercover for the low-talking white guy and hassles him all along the way. Woo! Car crash! POW! Seagal kicks butt and says something salty. BAM! Been there, rented that.

The Salton Sea - This looks like another Val Kilmer dog. The cast looks strong, but the trailer was so overcut that it looks like they are trying to trick the potential audience. Serious movies don’t need to try so hard.

Swordfish - If Warner Bros. wanted to make Gone in 60 Seconds 2, as their hire of Dominic Sena might suggest, they did the right thing. Somehow, this sneak peak at this film took the idea of a complex computer scheme and simplified it into the violent version of Lucky Numbers. Great. But hey, we get to see Hallie Berry strip down to really tiny lingerie, so maybe it will reach the level of The Last Boy Scout... Part 2.

THE UNCLEAR: American Outlaws - A western trying really hard to be modern and hip... just like Texas Rangers. And if they ever release Texas Rangers, we’ll have something as a basis of comparison.

City By The Sea - The story of a cop who has a father who was a kidnapper and a son who might be a murderer could be great. But there wasn’t enough there to judge.

Collateral Damage - Nothing really there... a shot of Arnold S. lifting his eyes angrily to camera over clippings about his murdered family. Andy Davis directs. Nothing else to report.

The Majestic - It stars Jim Carrey as a man who loses his mind. Frank Darabont directs. Not a frame from the film.

Ocean’s 11 - Never has so impressive a cast been used so ineffectively. Not only didn’t we hear from Brad Pitt or Bernie Mac or Elliot Gould or anyone else... they used "Luck Be A Lady Tonight" and not the song "Ocean’s 11." Maybe they are planning on dumping the song, but it would have been a lot more impressive to me to hear "E...O... Eleeeeven..." than some Sinatra song. A weird appearance.

Pluto Nash - The Eddie Murphy comedy has been pushed into 2002, but it really just got a passing mention.

13 Ghosts - If the next William Castle remake is closer to producer Joel Silver’s The Matrix than to The House on Haunted Hill, it will be a big hit. But there wasn’t enough there to really know anything.

Training Day - Denzel Washington makes good choices usually. But the one-day-of-shooting clip they showed didn’t convince me that this well worn premise has any more promise than the Seagal movie. All things in time.

READER OF THE DAY: Steverino writes: "It's true. On March 11,Sunday night, a girl could not help but reject in the seat of Warner Village Cinema Centre Taipei, when she saw Hannibal. Then the staff carried her to the ladies' room, sent to the hospital by am ambulance later. The doctor believes she was too shocked by the ending. Funny thing is, Chinese did eat the monkey's brain while it is still alive for almost one hundred years ago. For the detail, you can check the Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Today, we can not even stand Dr. Hannibal eat Human. Weird."

E ME: I assume that rejection and vomiting is the same for Steve. Very South Park.

 

THE GOOD: A.I. - Steven Spielberg’s film based on the long-gesticulating Stanley Kubrick project has a very simple, very E.T. trailer with no footage from the film, only a hint at what is coming. Haley Joel Osment gets a chance to work in white face make-up and none of the 99 percent white crowd seemed politically disturbed in the least. It didn’t say much about the movie, but it does suggest a very creative approach to marketing, which is always welcome.

Harry Potter & The Sorcerer’s Stone.- I saw this trailer on the web a couple of weeks (and a hard drive) ago and thought it looked pretty good there. On the big screen, it was even more impressive. Seeing it, I both thought how much I wished that George Miller or Terry Gilliam was making the film and how we may have all been dead wrong about mocking the choice of Chris Columbus. The film looks like a classic, big time, Warner Bros. hit... lush and good looking and not all that complicated. In other words, quality cinema for the masses.

Rock Star - At first, the idea of Mark Wahlberg going back in time again, knowing that Rollergirl won’t be there to get him - and us - off, struck me badly. But this trailer really sold this movie to me in a way that made me want to pay money to see where it all went. The basic premise is that a rock star wannabe gets to join the band of his dreams... and that’s when it gets interesting. At least, I hope so.

The Heist - It took a minute plus for me to realize that Rebecca Pidgeon plus Ricky Jay plus some incredibly sharp lines equaled David Mamet. Add Gene Hackman and Danny DeVito and Delroy Lindo and a story that seems to be the kind that Mamet writes best (greed and darkness) combined with a sense of humor reminiscent of State & Maine and I’m in line already.

Hearts in Atlantis - There wasn’t much to see, but Anthony Hopkins as God (or something like God) in a movie based on a Stephen King book got my attention.

Cats & Dogs - A broad comedy about the secret (agent) life of animals gets better looking every time I see it... probably because they get more and more of the effects done.

Osmosis Jones - The trailer they cut for ShoWest was about 50 percent live action and 50 percent animation. I got the impression when touring the animation studios that it is more like 80-20 in the actual film. But what they showed looked like a hit to me. They pushed Bill Murray, who plays a guy who will eat anything. Inside his body, the battle is on to kill the deadly virus he has brought home after eating an egg that has been in places ranging from a dung soiled floor to a monkey’s mouth. Murray looks to be very funny, but it is the very hip animation and the comedy team of Chris Rock and David Hyde Pearce that I think will make this one of the big summer movies.

THE BAD: The Affair of the Necklace - Hillary Swank takes it off, all off, in this costume drama that seemed like a drag even before we got to hear about that ridiculous title. She is definitely a girl. That may be enough for a Maxim cover, but it’s not enough to draw me to the movie.

Angel Eyes - Jennifer Lopez is the cop. Jim Caviezal is the heavenly creature. Director Luis Mandoki got me with Message in a Bottle, but is still probably best known as the guy who shot the best mainstream feature performance of oral sex ever in White Palace. I just pray that the film is better than this clip.

The Dish /Pokemon 3 - I love The Dish and I’m sure that I’ll manage to avoid installment three in the Pokemon series but, regardless, I was surprised that both of these films were left off the studio’s reel. The Dish is opening in a couple of cities this weekend, but still, given Dan Fellman’s very real commitment to the film, I would have expected a spirited Vegas kick-off for the film.

Driven - Stallone. Harlin. Samaha. Brains Wide Shut. This trailer was damn near shocking. Most of the action involves race car parts flying through the air. They did the "thing flying at the camera" gag, made famous by Twister’s trailer, twice. Why? Apparently they didn’t have anything better to show. The dialogue was mumbled that it was almost impossible to figure out just how uninteresting it was. Kip Purdue, God bless him, is not a compelling screen presence. He may be a good actor and a nice kid, but he doesn’t have "it." The other new guys in the film were completely undeveloped in the trailer. Seems like the same old thing. It will do better than some of Stallone’s recent disasters... but don’t count on too much from this one.

Exit Wounds - Steven Seagal is back... and he’s been to Weight Watchers. Seagal is the low-talking tough guy. DMX is the black guy who goes undercover for the low-talking white guy and hassles him all along the way. Woo! Car crash! POW! Seagal kicks butt and says something salty. BAM! Been there, rented that.

The Salton Sea - This looks like another Val Kilmer dog. The cast looks strong, but the trailer was so overcut that it looks like they are trying to trick the potential audience. Serious movies don’t need to try so hard.

Swordfish - If Warner Bros. wanted to make Gone in 60 Seconds 2, as their hire of Dominic Sena might suggest, they did the right thing. Somehow, this sneak peak at this film took the idea of a complex computer scheme and simplified it into the violent version of Lucky Numbers. Great. But hey, we get to see Hallie Berry strip down to really tiny lingerie, so maybe it will reach the level of The Last Boy Scout... Part 2.

THE UNCLEAR: American Outlaws - A western trying really hard to be modern and hip... just like Texas Rangers. And if they ever release Texas Rangers, we’ll have something as a basis of comparison.

City By The Sea - The story of a cop who has a father who was a kidnapper and a son who might be a murderer could be great. But there wasn’t enough there to judge.

Collateral Damage - Nothing really there... a shot of Arnold S. lifting his eyes angrily to camera over clippings about his murdered family. Andy Davis directs. Nothing else to report.

The Majestic - It stars Jim Carrey as a man who loses his mind. Frank Darabont directs. Not a frame from the film.

Ocean’s 11 - Never has so impressive a cast been used so ineffectively. Not only didn’t we hear from Brad Pitt or Bernie Mac or Elliot Gould or anyone else... they used "Luck Be A Lady Tonight" and not the song "Ocean’s 11." Maybe they are planning on dumping the song, but it would have been a lot more impressive to me to hear "E...O... Eleeeeven..." than some Sinatra song. A weird appearance.

Pluto Nash - The Eddie Murphy comedy has been pushed into 2002, but it really just got a passing mention.

13 Ghosts - If the next William Castle remake is closer to producer Joel Silver’s The Matrix than to The House on Haunted Hill, it will be a big hit. But there wasn’t enough there to really know anything.

Training Day - Denzel Washington makes good choices usually. But the one-day-of-shooting clip they showed didn’t convince me that this well worn premise has any more promise than the Seagal movie. All things in time.

READER OF THE DAY: Steverino writes: "It's true. On March 11,Sunday night, a girl could not help but reject in the seat of Warner Village Cinema Centre Taipei, when she saw Hannibal. Then the staff carried her to the ladies' room, sent to the hospital by am ambulance later. The doctor believes she was too shocked by the ending. Funny thing is, Chinese did eat the monkey's brain while it is still alive for almost one hundred years ago. For the detail, you can check the Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Today, we can not even stand Dr. Hannibal eat Human. Weird."

E ME: I assume that rejection and vomiting is the same for Steve. Very South Park.