YOU BETCHA:  So, I’m looking at wire stories.  And I find what seems to be a new contender to the role of pretender, a company in London called The Cantor Index.  According to the Reuters report.  The company’s main line, so to speak, is setting spreads for betting.  But the new thing seems to be a Brit version of HSX with real money.

Reset.

The Cantor Index, a division of Cantor Fitzgerald International, has acquired HSX.  And as a result, they are now in the business of setting opening weekend “spreads” that you can bet on as an over/under proposition.  In this case, the wire service reported that Cantor set the line for Planet of the Apes to open at between $49 and $51 million and Jurassic Park III to open with $47 to $49 million. 

The thing is, like all betting lines, one must realize that the line is not about accurate estimation, but rather the effort to find a number that will get an equal number of “players” to bet for or against, over or under that line.  The house makes the money on the percentage they take off the top, not on beating the field.  In other words… these estimates mean NOTHING when it comes to really predicting box office. 

As far as HSX, I can’t seem to find any effort on the site to get its users to turn their HSX dollars into real money at Cantor’s site.  That’s good.  But the line is getting blurry.  More to the point, unlike any betting situation I know, there is specific statistical information – even though I have pointed out that it is often inaccurate – that could have a direct effect on how people play this line.  If you are at NRG and you know exactly what the statistical highs and lows are for your projections vs. reality, not only could you make a bundle betting for or against your projected numbers, but you could shift the market by manipulating those figures in house.  Now, be clear, I am not accusing anyone of anything.  The reason that you can’t actually bet on the Oscars in American casinos is because awards are not a gambling proposition.  If it came down to it, winners could, theoretically (calm down, Academy), be manipulated… if enough money was at stake.  This situation is even more pliable.  NRG tells the studios that Jurassic Park III is now tracking at $25 million, the figure at Cantor’s drops because everyone is now betting the under, the NRG person bets the over, aware that the real tracking is $45 million and you have yourself a fix.

Interesting stuff… keep an eye out for more news to come from this deal-i-o. 

IT HAD TO HAPPEN:  The Variety headline was “Valenti: New Rating System Unnecessary.”  I was ready to be pissed off.   Valenti’s been claiming that the ratings system works for a long time and he’s wrong, at least from the point of view of an adult with an interest in quality film and a system that is as honest as possible.  However, I then read the story, which was about Valenti fighting a proposed universal code, covering film, television, music, videogames, etc.  Wow!  Talk about a change of position.  Because no matter how bad the ratings system is now… and it is trouble all over the place… a national ratings code, which would surely have the force of law in most, if not all, places, is an unspeakably horrible idea.  This monster has support from the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association and, it seems, Joseph Lieberman.  Freakin’ nightmare.  Jack is right. 

JUST WONDERING?  Actress Ming Na, known primarily for her work on ER and as the voice of Mulan voices the lead of Final Fantasy, Aki.  I read an interview in the L.A. Times about her being concerned when she saw the character that it was not noticeably Asian.  It was explained to her that Final Fantasy is set in a future where multiculturalism is the norm, so the woman is not meant to look like any one ethnic group.  Uh… take a god look.  Does this character look to you like anything but a Caucasian straight-haired brunette with near classic features? 

OGRE THE RAINBOW:  The trades have reported about negotiations on Shrek 2: Eisner’s Revenge (title not contractual).  It seems likely that the Big Three (Myers, Diaz and Murphy) will get around  $5 million apiece upfront for the sequel to the hugely successful flick.  Thing is… they’re still a bargain.  The sequel will still cost as much as $100 million less to produce and promote than Pearl Harbor… less than $140 million all in.  A sequel to a live action movie with these three actors that grossed over $250 million domestic would mean at least $50 million upfront for the trio… not to mention the perk packages that are not nearly as much of a fiscal issue on an animated film.  Anyway… DreamWorks has it good, the talent has it good and, in the rarest of circumstances, the public has it good.

The unwritten story of the Summer of 2001 is how much Myers and Murphy got paid for voicing their characters in ads for WalMart, how much Travolta got for selling Heinekens and how much Angelina Jolie got for using that Erickson phone. 

READER OF THE DAY:  The Phix writes:  "Legally Blonde is not a great movie.  But it is light, airy, dumb fun.  And aside from Shrek, it’s easily the best comedy of the summer so far."

I saw this film at a screening last night, Dave and it was horrendous! If I were blonde I would be absolutely disgusted. This woman was a dimwit from the get-go and no amount of persuasion on the part of the idiotic scriptwriter could convince me that her asinine shopping and beauty shop fetishes were not the result of a bimbo half wit.

If she really had the brains (that the screenwriter tries to convince us she has) emerging from that pouffy hair - then why was she so oblivious to the ridiculous appearance she flaunts everywhere in this film????

While it's ostensibly about stereotype breaking where blondes are concerned - the film reinforces every ugly stereotype out there - the Jewish lesbian, the serious brunette academics - the lecherous professor - the college feminists - etc. Everyone in this picture is made to look inferior except for Elle who seems to be as much a representative of California blondes as the Clampetts were of the rural Southern poor in the 60's.

Come on Dave, I know that blonde hair and big tits are your thing but how about some honest commentary on a truly lousy film - or did all the peroxide fumes flying around in the theater cloud your good judgment?

DAVID NOTE:  With due respect and love to all the blondes out there, I tend to be more attracted to brunettes.  And breast size is a non-issue in my real life.  But again, my role here is to acknowledge what I see, for tight sweater or for worse.  Honestly, I have plenty of bad things to say about the film… and I laughed or smiled – as did the other adult I saw the movie with – through the entire dumb film.  Maybe I’m secretly blonde.

P.S.  Speaking about actresses whose breasts have been mentioned in this column… has anyone else seen Katie Holmes in a hair color ad in which she is essentially compared to Betty Boop?  Now THAT’s dumb… especially for someone who seems to be serious about being taken seriously as an actor once she leaves The Creek.

PAGE TWO:  “Readers On Boycotts”