WEEKEND REVIEW

Here we go again…

There were two $60 million-plus openers last year.   Two.   In 1999, there was one.  Same in 1998.  In 1997, there were two again… The Lost World and Men in Black, two actual phenoms. 1996, ID4 and Mission: Impossible.  That’s it.    Six $60 million-plus opening weekends in the history of film up until this year.

Rush Hour 2 is this year’s fifth $60 million-plus opening.  And we still have the holiday movie season to come.

It’s time to stop writing these languid pieces about how shocking it is that movies that open to these ridiculous numbers are dropping in the 50s in the second weekend with clockwork consistency (Planet of The Estimated 58 Percent Drop) and worrying about what all this frontloading really means.  We are in a transition as significant as the move to the $100 million picture to which you can buy your way.

Rush Hour 2 may be down “only” 50 percent – or even 46 percent – next weekend.  But that’s not really the story. 

Finally, congratulations to Disney for beating expectations.  Frankly, I feel dumb for not seeing it coming.  Disney clearly found the Bring It On audience out there for a low-budget teen comedy.  (Watch for the female lead in a remake of The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes… PG-13 for Boys Trying To Hack Her.)

THE GOOD:  I spent almost the entire time watching The Score waiting for “it” to happen.  What’s it?  That moment when the movie really starts to fly and makes you forget that you are in a movie theater surrounded by people who like fake butter and forget to turn off their cell phones.  And while The Score got off the ground often, it never quite stayed aloft beyond the distance of the Wright Bros.’ runway. 

Which is not to say that I didn’t enjoy the movie.  I did.  Brando gave a step-above-Allan-Garfield-but-mostly-because-it-was-Brando performance.  DeNiro was excellent.  Ed Norton was solid, though I am amazed that anyone gave any special weight to a meaningless part-time role as a mentally challenged janitor.  This was NOT the equivalent of what he did in Primal Fear.  Not close. 

The Score is a by-the-numbers thriller, directed with style with Frank Oz, with a big assist from his cinematographer, Rob Hahn and his production designer, Jackson DeGovia.  (Mysteriously, while DeGovia and the casting person are listed in the credits, ---- is not.  ????)  Throughout the film, I kept thinking that The Score was on about the same level as last year’s beloved Croupier.  In the end, that wasn’t quite true.  But what’s there is a good, watchable, entertaining night at the movies… or at home on video.

Where it goes soft, for me, was in what was missing, though the third act heist takes a little too long for my taste.  But I could live with that.  What’s missing is a scene between Angela Bassett and Marlon Brando, since the movie kind of sets them up as two lovers on the two sides of DeNiro’s character’s life.  Brando, perhaps not coincidentally playing it gay, is the seducer on behalf of the life of crime… fast money, creature comforts, control.  Bassett is the female love interest, the embodiment of DeNiro’s less dangerous passions.  Which side will win?  Well, the movie pretty much forgets this dynamic somewhere n the second act. 

And then, there is the ending.  I don’t want to give anything away, so stop reading now if you haven’t seen the film or do not want to know.

SPOLILER WARNING!!!!

What I felt was missing from the film was a real feeling of completion in the relationship between DeNiro and Norton.  DeNiro wins out, but the win is so simple, so quickly turned into credits, that there isn’t a real sense of satisfaction.  Firstly, the conversation that DeNiro and  Norton have on the phone really needs to be in person.  Next, the entire movie sets up the idea that DeNiro is highly honorable and anti-violence.  And so the ending that suggests he has finally sealed the deal on his former life needs to include both.  This is the price of escaping his past.  Norton would believe that DeNiro would settle with him despite the double-cross.  And it would be shocking, but fair, for DeNiro to want to look Norton in the eye, before Norton dies.  What struck me was the memory of the real Get Carter.  DeNiro sets a meet in the middle of nowhere.  Norton comes.  The have words.  DeNiro explains that he wants Norton out of his life, so he’s paying for piece of mind.  He throws Norton the bag of money.  Norton opens the bag and finds only blank paper.  “When did you decide you were smarter than me?,” asks DeNiro.  BLAM!  A gunshot rings out before Norton can go for his gun.  Blood drips from the wound in his forehead.  DeNiro’s sidekick thug smiles.  He’s gotten payback too.  DeNiro meets Bassett at the airport.  Hs new life has begun.  He’ll never have to look over his shoulder again.  The end.

Which is not to say that it had to be that way.  But something was missing.  It was a nice ending, but was strangely unsatisfying.  Still, I did enjoy the film.

THE BAD:  I heard last week that National Association of Theater Owners members were treated to a bit of mail from the association’s president, John Fithian, reminding them to be ever vigilant about enforcing the R-rating with Fox’s Kiss of the Dragon on the way.  One problem.  This was only the second such warning from NATO this year.  The first was for the Hannibal, a film far more outstandingly violent than Kiss of the Dragon.  So why pick the Jet Li film?  I don’t know.  But I gather that the letter cost Fox screens for opening weekend.  Do you still think that all this ratings obsession is not a form of de facto censorship?

THE UGLY: I had no idea.

I knew Original Sin wasn’t going to be very good.  MGM has sat on it for over six months.  Angelina Jolie and Antonio Banderas have been talking about almost everything except for the movie on their talk show couch tour.  Perhaps Peter Travers has been taken out of context in the pull-quote for the film, but he has the right to say, “Take my name off your movie” and the fact that he hasn’t suggests a disregard for his audience of epic proportions.

Not only is Original Sin the worst movie I’ve seen all year, but it is like a textbook on how not to make a movie… scene by scene, beat by beat, moment by moment, writer/director Michael Cristofer, who was responsible for the equally epic Body Shots, has created an opportunity for film school professors everywhere.  Original Sin deserves its own course number, embracing the accurate idea that one of the best ways to learn how to do something well is to see it done wrong.

It really is fascinating.  It’s like watching a guy who really doesn’t know what he’s doing making the effort to use every trick in the book… and not only does the trick fail, but the lack of thought behind the trick is stingingly obvious.  He tries these cute little editing tricks, using five different shots to get through what could have been one camera move… it’s like a high school Soderbergh imitation.  The amount of dialogue done with the actors’ backs to the camera is astounding… the better to change the story with bad  expositional dialogue, my dear.  The inclusion of such sophomoric gimmicks as the “She’s telling you she’s evil every time she has a chance, why aren’t you listening?”  or the “There’s something important in the trunk that she drapes herself across when you ask her to open it” or the ever classic, “orphaned whore with the heart of gold” schtick.  And don’t even get me started on the sister who magically appears in another country within days when it takes weeks for the mail to travel from one town to the next.  After a while, it was like watching Plan 9 from Outer Space… what desperately bad idea could they come up with next?

The sad part is that none of the actors deserve to be dragged down with this shit… uh, ship.  The same was true of Body Shots, which is a blight on the careers of a large group of still up-n-comers.   “Mr. Cristofer, please drop off your DGA card in the night slot... your time is up!”  At least Larry Clarke has the decency to be a pornographer.  As in Body Shots, Cristofer chooses to exploit his actors in extreme ways, giving them little upside except for a paycheck.  In this case, however, Ms. Jolie, who seems most likely to act like a young Tracie Lords under Mr. C’s guidance (see: Gia), has done little more here than add to her most onanistic fans’ clip reels.  Banderas has reasserted his stud credentials.  And no one will remember that Thomas Jane or Jack Thompson were even there.

The funny thing is, by the third act, I could almost see what attracted the actors to this material.  The story wants to be a period version of Body Heat with some different twists.  Unfortunately, as written and directed, they are laughable… unphotographable.  The ideas, however, could have been brilliant, in a melodrama kind of way. 

And as magnificent as Ms. Jolie’s physique and stretching technique is, there is only one truly sexy scene and though it tries to match the groin-to-groin intensity of The Lover, it doesn’t match the raw intensity of even the softest sex scene in the Jean-Jacques Annaud/Jane March/Tony Leung classic.

HAPPY TRAILERS TO YOU:  What do you get when you steal the idea for The Bad News Bears and pitch it through the lens of Remember The Titans?  It’s called Hardball, it stars Keanu Reeves and the trailer gives you pretty much the entire movie.  But what really struck me, as the trailer ran back-to-back with Rat Race is that this new production company, Firework Pictures, that has an output deal at Paramount, does nothing but remake old movies that they loved, Rat Race being a direct descendant of A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World… by way of Road Trip.  Yipes.  The guys over there are clearly from my age group, mining films we watched and loved before cable really took off.  What’s next?  The Animal House remake or maybe a new millennial version of The Wanderers?

BAD AD WATCH:  You know, it’s odd.  Universal has had this great run in the last couple of years.  So when they are anticipating a bit of a disappointment on American Pie 2, what do they do?  They crib a commercial from Legally Blonde.  You know, the one that pretends to be about smart people at Harvard and suddenly switching to a hot pink promo?  American Pie 2 is doing a very similar bait-n-switch spot, using black-and-white, suggesting that the spot is for something serious before bouncing into the AP2 wackiness.  Hey.  I’m not saying it’s bad.  All I’m saying is that it was odd to see Universal going down someone else’s road when theirs has been so successful.

READER OF THE DAY:  You know, I’ve gotten into an exchange of e-mail with one of my favorite readers over Bill Clinton vs. Gary Condit.  That sucks!  (Get it!??!)  But seriously…. It I funny how we can disagree about anything but money and politics before it gets ugly.

Anyway… this from The Ol’ 29:  “I recently returned from a five week stay in Peru.  Thank god for the web!  I was able to stay linked to my movie passions through your column which I read religiously while there (as I do here).  I thought I would feel deprived of movies while there, but boy was I wrong.  I felt I had superior movie going experiences.  1) The most expensive movie is 10 soles (which is equivalent to less than 3 bucks)  2) The latest movies were playing (Jurassic Park III came out only one day after it debuted in the US) 3) The theatres were all clean and attractive, offering wonderful sound and many with stadium seating   4) I got to see a movie on the screen (being a horror fan and all) that I had wanted to see for a long time (Cherry Falls)  5) The picture was properly framed (the first day back in the states I saw Scary Movie 2 and I had to go out once again and have them adjust the picture due to poor framing) and it was never once out of frame in any of the ten movies I saw in Peru.  My movie going experience here is about 50/50.   6)  There were no loud people in the theatres.  I was shocked.  If a third world country can get it right, why can't America, the land of Hollywood?”

E ME:  Writing is such sweet sorrow.