THE BEST OF 2001

I wish that putting together this list of my faves of 2001 was more difficult.  I started with the Academy list of eligible films from 2001.  From that list, I came up with 22 that were even worthy of consideration in my mind.   Two were, I believe, on last year’s list, so they got bounced.  (The Dish and Our Lady of the Assassins) 

Eight others were simply not movies that screamed Top Ten to me, even though I liked them all.  They were:

Born Romantic
The Business of Strangers
Memento
The Others
The Princess & The Warrior
The Royal Tennenbaums
Startup.com
Totally Blonde

That left twelve films on my list.  I missed three films this year that I think may have had a shot (Black Hawk Down, Lagaan and The Man Who Wasn’t There).  There were also five films that I didn’t see that I think may have had a real shot at my “Worst of 2001” list.  They were:

Glitter
K-Pax
The Shipping News
Sidewalks of New York
What’s The Worst That Could Happen?

BOTTOM TWELVE

Curse of the Jade Scorpion – The Worst Woody Allen movie ever.  It looked bad.  It wasn’t funny.  And I had to believe Woody Allen and Helen Hunt as a couple sans irony.  No.

Driven – This film was so bad that I watched it more than once, just to see whether it was really as bad as I thought.  It was worse.  Burt Reynolds looked like someone forgot to finish the surgery.  Gina Gershon actually managed to not be sexy.  Kip Pardue is made of cheap cardboard.  The script somehow managed to be completely predictable and completely illogical at the same time.  An amazing film.

15 Minutes – You readin’ the script?  You readin’ the script?  You must be readin’ the script, cause DeNiro clearly wasn’t readin’ the script.  Nonsensical crap, complete with Kip Pardue’s acting birth parent, Ed “Kooky” Burns. 

The Majestic – How can you screw up something so simple?  Forget to have a philosophy that remains consistent. 

Ocean’s Eleven – I really have to see this one again, because I can’t believe that it was really as bad as it seemed to me.  Every movie star playing against type, leaving Elliot Gould, Carl Reiner and Bernie Mac to steal the show.  The cast clearly had a lot more fun than I did.

Pearl Harbor – The CG seemed almost desperately large.  The unreality was overwhelming.  There was a heart as big as a snail’s.  And worst of all, they buried the lead.  If they had called it Pearl Harbor Summer, I would have been more accepting.  But here is this mega-film about this key event in world history and we get a tepid three-way featuring Ben “Have They Caught On Yet?” Affleck, The Other Kate and Kip Pardue’s older acting brother, Josh Hartnett.

Planet of the Apes – It’s hard to get behind a movie lead who is completely unsympathetic… even harder when the director is more interested in art direction than the screenplay.  What a waste of some brilliant imagery.  But I am looking forward to Estella Warren’s first lead in Planet of  the Lips. 

Riding In Cars With Boys – What can I say about a movie that was so loaded with talent and so completely unwatchable.  I saw it in a theater and twice in airplanes trying to digest it, but it was air sick bags all around.

Rock Star – You’ll be okay, Marky Mark.  You are a movie star as the second lead.  You are a failure as a lead.  That’s okay.  Really.  You’ll never be Gene Hackman, but look at his career and you can see what’s possible.  Jennifer Aniston = TV… at least until she takes off all her clothes.  Then she’s in Showgirls 2.

Saving Silverman – I so hoped that there was a reason to give Jack Black $1 million to star in a film.  There was… to keep him from walking off the set when he saw the screenplay.   How can one waste Black, Amanda Peet, Steve Zahn and Jason Biggs?  It is a triumph of bad.

Spy Game – The least memorable big movie of the year.  I forgot I saw it just days after I paid cash money to sit in a theater and try to remain alert.  They knew the script was a mess, they shot around the mess of a script, the got a mess of a movie.

Tomcats – Shannon Elizabeth acting.  Need I write more?

PAGE TWO:  The Best of 2001