The Force is with us.

According to Fox estimates, Star Wars: Episode Two – Attack of the Clones brought in $27 million on Thursday, a figure that includes Wednesday night’s midnight shows.  And of course, the first maroon is calling it a disappointment. 

I call Brandon Gray a maroon affectionately.  He was a regular reader of the column as he developed his taste for box office analysis at USC and even wrote “Box Office Preview” and “Review” for me at roughcut.com when I decided my plate was too full.  I took back the gig when I realized that I missed doing the numbers each week.  In any case, Brandon is a smart guy and has managed to edge into Gitesh Pandaya’s turf (boxofficeguru.com) by pushing his own site (box officemojo.com) harder than Gitesh and in particular by filling the void that showbizdata.com left when it started charging for daily box office. 

But even as Brandon is marking Clones’ opening – a rare Thursday opening, which gives “must see” folks a legitimate choice to wait for the weekend by coming right up onto Friday – as the fourth biggest opening day EVER, he is also calling it a disappointment, comparing it to Spider-Man and The Phantom Menace, which opened on a Wednesday and dropped to under $15 million on Thursday.  Maroon! 

Brandon is already questioning whether theaters will be burned by Lucas and Fox’s playdate demands… which is absurd.  It’s as though everyone all of a sudden realized that there were negotiations for playdates at movie theaters.  Pearl Harbor had tougher demands last summer with no movie stars and no track record to suggest that it would be playing to big numbers into weekend six.  Spider-Man had six week demands, though to get over 6000 screens playing the film in the first two weekends, and not wanting to force multiplexes into choosing between Spider and Anakin, Sony was more flexible than Fox/Lucas. 

(LATE NOTE FROM DP: As of Friday afternoon, Brandon’s critical analysis of the Thursday numbers has disappeared from his site and been replaced by Fox’s final number, $30.1 million, which although only $2 million better than the original estimate, is now a record and therefore, “soaring” and “scorching” and of course, all the worries about exhibitors “suffering” from six week deals are gone as well. While I am pleased to see that Brandon has found some equilibrium on the story – I take no responsibility for that – I am a great fan of taking the heat when you get caught short. Ironically, Matt Drudge was not made to look silly because he didn’t editorialize about the numbers… he just linked to Brandon’s early number story. But this is the time to look at reality vs. perception. $2 million is less than a half a percent of what Clones’ eventual gross will be… did it really make the difference between a positive story and a negative one? Would $2 million more or less for a movie like About A Boy – unless it were the difference between a seven and eight figure gross – matter at all? $13 million? $15 million? You’d never notice. We need to be careful about not emceeing horse races… some people have memories.)

However, the thing to keep in mind about Clones is that Lucas’ demands are part traditional exhibition and part – perhaps primarily – about product quality.  It is not bullshit when Lucas says that he cares about the quality of the screens on which his movie plays.  As one reader pointed out, traditional projection problems, like aging bulbs, make a difference, but particularly make a difference on a picture like Star Wars, which is so rich and so diverse visually. 

The point is, entertainment writers are suddenly throwing around the commitments theaters are making to Star Wars like they are incredibly extravagant.  They are not.  If Lucas wanted to throw his weight around, he could have made moves to hurt Spider-Man by making theaters choose.  He could have had the Star Wars trailer playing in every multi for the last year or two.  He could have gotten theaters to build in special pricing for opening weekend.  He could have destroyed the rules.  The idea that exhibitors are going to be hurt by Clones is just nuts.  And I’ll tell you something else.  If Clones hit a wall in the second weekend and fell off to, say, $20 million… I bet George would be the first guy to tell Fox to release theaters from their deals and to stop the bleeding… something Disney could have made a lot of friends doing in weekend four of Pearl Harbor last summer.  If Clones was to be a mere $200 million movie, not only would Lucas still make a ton of money, but it would be in his interest to protect Episode Three. 

Of course, that is not going to happen.  Episode Two will have a $105 million four-day (or something like that) and some people will paint that, foolishly, as a disappointment.  And when Clones passes Spider-Man somewhere around the $330 million mark, they’ll still be calling it a disappointment.  And even if I’m wrong and Spider-Man does $400 million and Clones does $350 million, they will still be fools to be using the word disappointment. 

But George Lucas doesn’t need me defending his box office numbers.  Part of what I do admire about Lucas is that just keeps rolling along.  He and his team make decisions and they move forward.  While the barbs and arrows surely hurt, the empire marches on.

And to answer one reader who wrote in yesterday, I do think Clones works on the level it was intended.  It is a visual feast.  Stuff like Natalie Portman’s constant wardrobe changes are exactly the kind of camp that marked the original and that I wish there was more of in this film.  What this series of three is missing in spades is the wildcard.  Not only did Lucas have a Han Solo, but he upped the ante in Empire with Lando, another guy who could go either way, good or bad.  In these films, we know the fate of the major characters, at least to some degree.  There are no “Luke, I am your father” moments.  Mace Windu is not double dealing.  There isn’t an element in the Jedi counsel that wants Anakin to go to the dark side because they know that it needs to happen in order to create eventual balance in The Force and they are willing to sacrifice the next 30 years in order to have the final outcome of Return of the Jedi happen.  And Episode Three is in real danger of becoming little more than housekeeping, which would be a shame.  But in the meanwhile, Episode Two has lots of action, lots of interesting new characters, incredible images and Yoda.  Compare it not to your Star Wars fantasies and to the rest of what’s out there and it rates pretty well.

ABOUT FOX’S TRAILERS:  I got a number of e-mails from exhibitors yesterday who said that Minority Report was indeed, the trailer that was meant to be attached to Episode Two and that Like Mike was also in the can, but not meant for attachment.  So, it looks like someone at The Grove, not at Fox, blew the pooch.

ABOUT ABOUT A BOY:  Go see it.  It’s smart and funny.  Hugh Grant has never been better.  My full review is here, but I just wanted to remind out about the release.

WORLD PREMIERE:  I got an e-mail from The Far East recently.  The rarest of things, a woman who used to direct Hong Kong kung-fu flicks, Jade Blossom, wanted to review movies for this site.  The e-mail said:

Movie reviews are lacking
Many words, no thought
Haiku Reviews, write for you

And so, here is Jade’s new page of Haiku Reviews.  You can write her directly.  She is, after all, a little old lady.  So she can’t see everything.  On the other hand, she sees a lot of movies before they get release… on illegal DVDs available at her local grocer.   But get into the spirit.  Maybe she’ll let you add the ones she can’t get done herself.

RETURNING TO THE EMPIRE:  Not THAT Empire… Empire Records.  My TV was on the other afternoon and there was Empire Records, one of Allan Moyle’s weird little teen movies that sits there, underrated, underseen, underloved.  Now, I don’t think Empire Records is a great, great movie.  Pump Up The Volume is definitively superior.  ER is deeply flawed.  But in retrospect, comparing it to what teens get now… WOW!  If I were an ambitious studio, I would pull the film from cable and video shelves and do a re-release. 

It has great music.  It is Robin Tunney’s real debut.  Renee Zellweger is not just cute, but raw and sexy in this film.  And Liv Tyler is, in the rarest of things, not ethereal.  She is young and energetic and loud and incredibly appealing.  Having met Liv a couple of times now, she is ethereal.  She has an almost unbelievable sweetness about her.  But casting directors and directors would do well to push that to the side and to give her something more to do.  The femme fatale of One Night At McCools was not the thing… it isn’t her.  The little girl side of her… that’s what we have been missing.  And what Moyle gets out of her in Empire Records.  There is a sequence on the roof of the store where the six-inches-taller-than-the-guy Tyler dances with some guy and you get something remarkable for a second… the real woman who is taller than most men, but who is happy to make herself fit for love.  A lovely beat.

Anyway, if Empire Records were coming out this summer, I’d be pegging it at $70 million -$90 million.  Ah, the stuff you find in the folds of movie history.

CREEPY:  Hats off to Fox Searchlight’s quiet little promotion of One Hour Photo.  In the mail, I found a kind of normal photo envelope from some developer… interesting.  Inside, there are two oversized prints.  On the first one: “He knows your name.  He knows where you live.  He knows your life…”  The second one has a photo of Robin Williams examining some photos:  “…but don’t lose any sleep over it.” 

Of course, there were cheaper ways of doing this.  Most places, once they had the idea, would have delivered it on one card.  But Searchlight’s marketing team turned this into something cinematic.  Very good.

THE NEXT GREAT STORY:  Look for some magazine to offer the story headline, “Kirsten Dunst Wants To Show You Her Tits!”  It’s funny.  The hypertalented Ms. Dunst’s evolution into adulthood kind of started on the cover of Maxim, the one magazine that doesn’t indulge what has become her signature, the nipple exposing top.   There they are again on the cover of Esquire.  Any suggestion that this is not occurring on purpose is beginning to rank right up there with Sharon Stone not knowing they were shooting between her legs in Basic Instinct.  And speaking of Ms. Stone, it's a shame that she already took the peek-a-boo nipple idea for her own Esquire cover or perhaps Ms. Dunst could have done it as her next step.

So, how about a contest?  Since the Kirsten Dunst/Adrian Lyne film is now inevitable, what do you think the plot will be? 

AD WATCH:  The John Stockwell directed surfer chick flick, Blue Crush, has been moved in to August by Universal Pictures.  I wasn’t really aware that it was Stockwell behind the camera when I first wrote about this one.  And while he hardly has a Soderbergh portfolio yet, I really find him promising as an actor’s director.  So, I am looking forward to the movie, which stars not only Michelle Rodriguez, but two blonde movie neophytes who seem promising.  I’ve only seen surfing footage from the film, which looks terrific.  Of course, it will have to live up to the standard set by John Hancock’s 1979 classic, California Dreaming, in which you could not only smell the beach, but where we found out that Glynnis O’Connor was as sexy as she was soulful. 

But the reason I brought all this up in the first place is that the poster for the film is quite beautiful.  The image is one that we have seen before… three girls on the beach looking a little tough.  But someone at Universal (or at some contractor) got the idea of overstating the colors and the result is really eye-catching and viscerally thrilling.  Huzzah.

READERS OF THE DAY:  Three views of Clones.  KeMo writes:  “I think people do realize that Star Wars is special to our culture.  That is why I think that criticisms of these new episodes tend to be more venomous. 

As part of the Star Wars canon, these new episodes are being judged by a higher standard than "normal" movies are judged.  A standard set by the original trilogy, that these new episodes are not living up to.  They may be good, but they're not "Star Wars" good.”

Barbie’s Friend counters:  “for all of the mixed and negative reviews of aotc, i have this to say.  kiss my ass.  aotc is by far the best flick i have seen since jurassic park.   lotr, the matrix, harry potter and of course spiderman cannot touch this. the biggest complaint ive read about this movie was the dialogue.  and that’s complete bullshit.  every film has questionable lines and aotc has some off lines but that’s petty shit.  this movie is so entertaining that i doubt any movie this summer or for the entire year can compete with aotc. george has the chops, the vision and the style that makes the new generation of filmmakers pale in comparison. lucas is a genius. fuck all the naysayers, this movie is king.”

And The Yac goes both ways: 

Top 10 Reasons Episode Two is better than Episode One and Return of the Jedi
10. No Jake Lloyd
9. A subdued Jar Jar Binks
8. Mace Windu gets some light saber action
7. Christopher Lee
6. Natalie Portman's outfits
5. Speeder chase through Coruscant
4. Obi-Wan vs. Jango Fett in the rain
3. The visual effects (best effects ever!)
2. Arena battle
1. Yoda vs. Count Dooku

Top 5 reasons Episode Two is NOT better than A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back.
5. Hayden Christensen whining.
4. Romantic story unconvincing
3. No Han Solo-like character to throw a temporary monkey wrench into the blooming romance between Anankin and Padme
2. No twist at the end
1. Dialogue. It wasn't as bad as the critics made it out to be, but there were some groan-inducing lines.

As for the trailers, the audience went nuts for the Matrix trailer, whooped it up for Minority Report, laughed scornfully at Be Like Mike, and laughed their heads off at Lilo and Stitch. Bring on Episode Three!”

E ME:  The weekend is here… go to the movies… let me know!  And tell me what ad campaigns are working or not working for you.