I’m going to start with the films that I thought missed the boat.  Thirty-four of the sixty-one festival films I caught fit into this category.  Just because I have them here doesn’t necessarily think I thought they were terrible… just that I wouldn’t particularly recommend them.

Okay… I’m rethinking this as I write… first, I’ll give you the near misses, broken up between those with distribution and those without.  Then, the films I really do hate… the Bottom Unknown Number, I guess.

MISSES WITH DISTRIBUTION

ARARAT
Overly self-important look at a very important subject.

AUTO FOCUS
Bob Crane had sex… so what?  Nothing to chew on.

BADASSSS CINEMA
A fun watch, but not deep enough… needs a second hour.

BOLLYWOOD/HOLLYWOOD
Cute… but the Bollywood dance numbers just didn’t cut it… not close.

CABIN FEVER
Aforementioned piece of crap.  A movie that I was born to love… if it were any good.

CITY OF GHOSTS
Matt Dillon may well have a future as a director, but he needs a much tougher editor.

DIRTY DEEDS
I really was looking forward to this Aussie crime romp, but I ended up watching mediocre Guy Ritchie… and I already think Guy Ritchie is mediocre enough.

8 MILE
Not bad, but instantly forgettable.

THE EMPEROR’S CLUB
Love Michael Hoffman, because he is so good with comedy.  This isn’t a comedy.

EVELYN
Not a terrible movie… just not as special as it should have been.  So many good pieces.

FEMME FATALE
La Fromage Du DaPalma would have been better if it were simpler.  Instead, it just doesn’t make sense.

THE FOUR FEATHERS
Really my biggest disappointment.  Shekar Kapur’s direction is painfully bland.  It’s impossible to respect the British for killing “wogs” and blacks.  Wastes Djimon Hounsou.  Finally realizes what it is in the third act… TOO LATE!!!

FRIDA
Oddly, Salma Hayek’s dream deserves more respect… Taymor outclasses Kahlo as an artist every time she can and Salma is stuck playing an artist with the greatest rack ever.

PERSONAL VELOCITY
Great actresses and a director with potential… but it just never came together

PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE
I’m going to see this movie again, but my impression is that there is nothing more to this film than PT Anderson doodling… just as Soderbergh was doodling with Full Frontal.  Only critics expected to hate Adam Sandler, perhaps the most overly attacked actor in Hollywood.  When they didn’t hate Adam, they found excuses to embrace this film.  PT is still a genius to me, but I’d rather see a movie from him that was about something.

SECRETARY
I almost went for this sex farce in a minor key.  But ultimately, letter-perfect Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal’s heart-melting, penis-rousing smile was not enough.

SPUN
This Midnight Movie got distribution during the festival.  A speed-freak comedy that is about one-half as clever as it wants us to think it is.  Lots of young, high-profile actors, all of whom are blown off the screen by Mickey Rourke.  He can help them be better actors, but please don’t write down his plastic surgeon’s phone name, unless it is to know who to avoid when the time comes… at 23.

WELCOME TO COLINWOOD
The remake of Big Deal on Madonna Street that thinks the word “fuck” is edgy.  Great cast, but Mario Monicelli mastered a form of off-the-cuff farce that I think, ironically, could only be matched by Michael Hoffman or probably Soderbergh these days.

MISSES WITHOUT
DOMESTIC DISTRIBUTION

CHAMPION
Korean boxing movie… just didn’t do it for me.

THE INTENDED
Kristian Levering and Janet McTeer probably have a great sex life.  But their passions weigh down their art. 

KEN PARK
As insightful and artful as an issue of Barely Legal magazine. 

MC5: A TRUE TESTIMONIAL
A well-made doc about a band I’ve never heard of, who were apparently rock icons even though I’ve never heard their big hit.  The film starts to cook in the third act… when they break apart through their own pretensions.  But it was too late for me. 

NEVER GET OUTTA THE BOAT
R ecovering addicts who still act like addicts… too much for my tastes.

THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BED
(EL OTRO LADO DE LA CAMA)
Sexy, but not very smart or particularly well directed.  But those girls…

SEX IS COMEDY – Catherine Breillat tells us how smart and sexy she is… which we might believe if she didn’t have to hide between a much thinner, younger actress and never allowed any of her other characters (except for the young boy who she is bedding) to have anything smart to say at all.

SMALL VOICES
The Philippines is trying to find its way as a non-sex film center.  Much like Ararat, the intensions are good, but the form is underdeveloped.  I’ll be back for next year’s film, but I will try to forget this year’s.

TRY SEVENTEEN
A buzz film that deserved the buzzer.  It just tries sooooo hard to be smart and funny.  The cast is fine, but the director is just too needy.  I promise to love you if you just stop showing off!

PAGE THREE: The Best of Toronto 2002