November 6, 2002

The jury is still out…

What the hell is there to discuss for five hours?  The Winona Ryder defense in this case is right out of the O.J Handbook.  Blame the store.  Blame the police.  But the whole theory that there was a rush to judgment is knocked off course by the undisputed fact that top level Saks Fifth Avenue management in New York and L.A were consulted before the security guards called the Beverly Hills Police.  That attorney Mark Geragos was allowed to suggest that the scissors used to remove the sensors from the items were planted in spite of never laying any foundation for the accusation during the trial is amazing. 

Unlike O.J., in which there was an ill-fitting glove, some unexplained items and a jumpy timeline, there is not a lot for a “not guilty” voter to hang their hat upon.  The one key defense witness has biases so extreme that Saks already had a restraining order against his presence on their sidewalk.  Ryder’s unwillingness to testify and her team’s failure to find anyone who was on the scene that can defend her in any way has left Ryder’s publicist Mara Buxbaum in the unfortunate position of testifying for Ryder in the press.  Unfortunately for the very skillful Ms. Buxbaum, her client’s best PR position would be confession.  America forgives the remorseful.  And we mock those claiming innocence with weak stories… even if they are true.

For me, one irony is that I am willing to accept much of Mr. Geragos’ theory. Do I think that the security team compared notes and all agreed on some issues?  Yup.  Do I think that they might have exaggerated things?  Yup.  As nutty as the defense witness is, could I imagine the security chief saying that he was “going to get that rich bitch?”  Absolutely. 

But that doesn’t get Ryder over the hump here.  Items were folded, wrapped and put in a shopping bag.  She had no credit card on file.  She had no assistant with her.  She actually purchased, like a regular shopper, thousands of dollars in merchandise that same day.  She cut her finger and her blood was on a number of the items that had their security tags removed.

“Jury nullification” is the only safety net.  These poor, fame-free security guards were just out to get this celebrity.  And maybe they were.  But what of Saks Fifth Avenue?  They ultimately made the call to press charges.  Why wasn’t a Saks executive questioned about the decision making process?  I don’t know.  Seems like it would help one side or the other.  Maybe neither side thought it was necessary to their case.

One thing is clear.  They are fighting in the jury room.  There is not enough evidence in this case to warrant a five-hour deliberation, much less a second day of deliberation.  Someone is saying that the poor girl was framed and abused.  Maybe it’s a significant group.  Maybe it’s just Peter Guber.  But there will be jurors who want to talk about what happened in there after it’s all over.  And my guess is that the jury’s conversation will be the most interesting thing in the entire trial.  Me?  I wouldn’t be surprised to see this result in a hung jury sometime today (Wed).  (“Heh, heh… he said hung.”)

SEVEN HOURS OF MOVIES:    It’s not often that I spend this much time in front of a screen when I’m not at a film festival.  For better or worse, I had seen two of the films before.  Seeing Narc again was a treat that endeared the film to me further.  Jason Patric’s performance registers even more strongly the second time around and I could see some more subtleties in Joe Carnahan’s direction   Liotta is great in the film. 

Sydney Pollack was at the screening.  I didn’t know whether he was there because his pal, Tom Cruise, made him go or if he was checking out the competition for his film (as Exec Producer), The Quiet American.  In an odd way, these films really are competing.  Both are smaller profile pictures that have an opportunity to step up.  Between the two, there are not likely to be less than five Oscar nominations.  But the chance for either to get a Best Picture nod… ah, there is the gold. 

The other film I revisited was Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring – The Extended Version.  I could guess at a few extra moments that are in this film.  But I was really going back for a chance to see this film on the big screen one more time before The Two Towers comes out.  And while the experience was a bit different than that first screening in New York last December, unsure what to expect, it was also very similar.  The first two acts were beautiful and really, really long.  And the third act was absolute magic.  Cate Blanchett is one of the greatest ever.  And the action is flawless. 

The third film will go unnamed for the moment, as it is more than a month away from release and all I can say is, “There was nothing wrong with it.”  Seems like damning with faint praise.  And it’s true.  The movie was smart and clean and lacking any imperfections.  It just wasn’t magical.  And that’s too bad.  So I can wait for another day.

Ironically, the movie from Monday night that I can’t talk about is significantly better than expected and I was shocked to have enjoyed it as much as I did.  It had more imperfections than today’s film did.  But it also had a lot more magic… so to speak.

Tomorrow, I’ll finally explain why 8 Mile should have been 8 Minutes long in an uncensored festival of obscene language that will prove how real I am.

"CUE SILLY STRING!”:  I like meeting talent, set visits, whatever… well, sometimes.  But even when I like the experience, delivering a story in the midst of this column and my other responsibilities can be problematic.  I had a great chat with Todd Haynes that I’ve referred to in the column, but that I really need to transcribe and publish.  I had a really interesting breakfast with the guys who write and directed Knockaround Guys and I couldn’t have liked them much more… and I even did the transcription… but a problem with a screening and one back box office weekend and that one got lost in the sauce (as the great Cindy Grisolia always used to say). 

So a couple of weeks ago, I was on the set of The Looney Tunes Movie: Back In Action.  And it was a lot of fun.  I seems like they are making this really wild comedy that just happens to have some very famous animated characters along for the ride.   And indeed, there was a glorious moment in which the A.D. called, “Cue lasers!!!  Cue Silly String!!!  And…. Action!”  Only in A Looney Tune.

There’s not a lot to write about this journey that hasn’t already been written.  Jenna Elfman wore a very short skirt and got really, really excited when her husband showed up.  Joan Cusack, who was on the show for three days total, was a delight.  And Brendan Fraser seems like a real kid at heart, which was odd, given his very adult performance in The Quiet American.

Perhaps my favorite part of the day was walking through the set for the grand finale… a kind of Indiana Jones stone temple, complete with giant… awwww, you’re going to have to wait for the movie.  All I can say is that it is one of the best ideas for a live-action punchline that I’ve heard in a long while.  Just thinking about it mow makes me lauhbxsbxbabx… sorry… laughing.

ALIAS MR. SMITH:  Jonathan Harris was probably my first gay man.  Sure, there was Mr. French and Uncle Arthur, but Dr. Smith was a queen with a bite… one of the greatest TV characters ever written, created and performed.  For me, even in retrospect, what was great about Harris’ Dr. Smith is that his abhorrent behavior really wasn’t “gay” behavior.  He was a chicken, but I never thought it was because he was a “sissy.”  And he was manipulative and malicious and that never read “gay” to me.  Even the fact that he spent all his time with the only young boy on the spaceship didn’t seem to scream “subtext.”  I’m sure that had the spaceship ever been lost on a planet of bodybuilders, Dr. Smith would have broken out the coconut oil and sent The Robinsons on their merry way.  But as things went, he simply remained the only human on the show with any style.  He was the most likeable man on that show without a bubble for a head.

Of course, Jonathan Harris was married for the last 64 of his 88 years. 

He will be remembered fondly and often.  And he will be missed.

READER OF THE DAY: THE PIERCED ONE writes:  “i saw both 'moonlight mile' and 'punch-drunk love' this weekend.

do you still think that sarandon is a lock for the best supporting actress award?  it doesn't seem like this film is picking up the buzz from toronto or getting any sort of box office triumph.  i thought it was a much better film for silberling than 'city of angels', but i don't think that he has shown himself yet to be one of the best new filmmakers.  the movie was quiet and touching and i feel like with another good script in his hands, he could probably finally reach the top level.

'punch-drunk love' is another story.  i've seen it twice now, because the first time i couldn't really capture my reaction to the movie.  i sort of walked out amazed that any studio gave anderson money to make this movie based on the script, which couldn't have been very long or even that well developed. it seemed at times like anderson had a great idea for a movie about this quirky character barry egan that could have been much more developed and thought out.  but i feel like in the end he decided to give the middle finger to all his 'magnolia' critics by telling them that this is what they get when they ask him to make his movies shorter.  i think he is in love with the idea that he can make a movie like this and not only get away with it, but get praise for defining a new sandler persona and being on the cutting edge.  anyways, i'll be eagerly awaiting his next outing.”

And MAY OR MAY NOT writes:  “Let's review your predictions again in a couple of months, cuz buddy The Two Towers is going to stomp all over you!  I don't care if you don't like it, but you'd better respect it!”

E ME:  Ooooohhh!!!  Tough guy movie!!!  I respect the hell out of Peter Jackson and his film.  But Oscar don’t like sequels.  Sorry…. I don’t make the history.  I just write about it.

Who was your first gay fictional character?  And does LOTR need another half an hour of footage?