November 13, 2002

Writing the column these days is a little like trying to talk with a mouth full of marbles… there is so much that I want to say that I just can’t get out.  Well, I can… but I’m not supposed to.

There is one film that I love So much… it is So beautiful… So powerful… So rich… So well made… but I can’t tell you about how I feel about it until next week some time.  And I’m not one for dropping So many hints.

There’s a lot of stuff floating around out there… 

I THINK the idea of HBO televising the Emmys is pretty stupid.  They’ve done so well as the outsider storming the castle and taking the gold that keeping the gold in their own castle seems like asking for trouble.  Of course, as the Wall Street Journal first figured, the HBO dalliance is probably just a political maneuver on the part of the TV Academy. 

I AM COMPLETELY AMAZED by the wet dream analysis of Femme Fatale from some very smart critics.  I find Rebecca Romijn Stamos very sexy in real life and on screen… but not in this movie.  I find her stiff and mannequin-like.  I think that once she finds a comedy to play, she will be great.  But despite these reviews, she is not a dramatic actress… period.  Ooohhh… figured out that water means a dream… wow!!! 

THERE IS A WEBSITE out there with DVDs of Santa Clause 2, The Ring, 8 Mile, Jackass, I Spy and many other current titles for sale.  I’m not going to give you the name, even though that makes me a selfish jerk, at under $14 a DVD… but it is theft, after all.  They don’t have Potter 2… yet. 

HAVE YOU SEEN the J-Lo story newsman slip up video yet?  Very funny.  Click here to take a look.  It links to your Windows Media Player.

IT’S NOT MOVIE NEWS, but Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm is an addictive joy.  Two great stories this week in the New York Observer (here and here . The only place that Larry David is absolutely fearless is on stage/screen.  But that has certainly worked to our favor.

THE IDEA of doing a kind of female Bond series with Halle Berry is quite smart.  It’s not exactly an original idea.  Besides Tomb Raider, there is Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill on the way.  But alternating years with male and female franchise action films… pretty much cash in the bank.  The funny thing about Bond is that the series has been like having stock in a boring company that just keeps growing and making money.  The big hype films come and go, but Bond always makes a little more each time out.  And Barbara Broccoli & co. have the discipline not to let their budgets get as out of control as most of the other high-profile action movies so often do. 

IN TOMORROW’S COLUMN, Women We Love: Holiday Film Edition.  And next week, Oscar Preview IV.

PINOCCHIO was put up for Best Foreign Language Film by Italy yesterday.  This inspired The Hollywood Reporter to hypothesize that the film could therefore be nominated for Best Picture too.  To wit:

“Italy's submission raises the precedent-making possibility that, if the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences nominates "Pinocchio" in the foreign-language-film category, two versions of the same film could end up competing in this year's Oscar race: The 108-minute Italian-language version would compete for foreign film, while a slightly different, dubbed-into-English version, which opens in the United States on Christmas Day, would be eligible to compete in other categories.”

Two versions?  What kind of scam is that?!?!?  Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon made history two years ago.  It’s been done.  And of course, given the word out of Italy on this film, it seems unlikely that it will compete for anything much more than an extra shelf at your local Blockbuster.  The power of Miramax could, theoretically, bully the film into a Best Foreign Language nod… but they should remain 100% focused on City of God, a truly great film.  Of course, I am on pins & needles about seeing Version 207 of this story, as told by a 50-year-old man who also plays the boy who wants to be real… really.

THIS SUNDAY’S episode of The Sopranos may be its best ever.  It managed to create that anxious, uncomfortable, shocked feeling that you got that first season when you realized that mom might be willing to stab Tony in the back at any moment.  This was 60 minutes of whiplash.  Coincidentally, Law and Order: Criminal Intent had one of its most complex episodes ever, focused on two sisters with some deep, deep damage.  And of course, Larry David finally got the pubic hair out of his throat while fighting Joseph in a manger… you had to be there.

HARRY POTTER is back and he’s infinitely better this time around.  I couldn’t sit through the last Potter film a second time.  But this one was a lot more enjoyable.  Why?  New characters.  The thing about both films is that the strong points for me have all be character relationships and the bigger the effects sequence, the more yawns to come.  This time out, Ken Branagh steals the show as a vainglorious bastard.  Richard Harris is a little creepy, rasping as though he were about to keel over through much of the movie before you realize that he was setting up a sequence in which he plays his younger self.  Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman and Robbie Coltrane are really scenery this time out.  But Jason Issacs as Lucius Malfoy is just plain great.  And while Dobby, a completely CG character, may be a little too precious for some, he is a truly amazing technical achievement.  Perhaps Gollum will supercede this in a month, much as the giant cave troll outdid last year’s three-headed dog.  But the humanity and skin tone of Dobby is pretty amazing. 

The film could stand to have 20 minutes chopped right out of it.  I would shorten the flying car sequences and trim a lot of other stuff.  It would just be pared down.  But there are lovely things in this film, like Dumbeldore’s Phoenix and the very clever art on the walls and the mind of the car and one particularly tough letter from home.  I actually enjoyed this one a lot.

READER OF THE DAY:  The ever bizarre Buffalo Bri writes:  “Please tell me that woman-eater James Cameron is not going to marry Natascha McElhone. Now, I don't know if they ever dated, but they probably were on the same set together at some time during the filming of Solaris. And we know Cameron likes to take his sexy actresses, marry them and suck the life out of them. Natascha is way to sexy to be destroyed. She needs to have a long career. Screw the "Free Winoma" slogans, we want to "Free Natascha."

Has there ever been a better lesbo scene that Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and Rie Raussumin? DePalma...genius! I still like "Mission to Mars" better.

I love how the media constantly take shots at Mr. Lucas and yet they recommend the AOTC DVD. He he he. He owns them. First time ever a DVD made from a true digital source. Take that WETA!”

And this from another regular, Sam He Am:  “safe to say that julianne moore is a surefire bet for best actress for far from home.  i'll go so far as to say that there are two moments that may give her the lock.  the first is at the daiquiri lunch when the girls are all gossiping about the sexual demands that their husbands are putting on them.  in the last shot of the scene, moore is shown laughing, yet there is this underlying current of sadness.  (this is one of the two great moments in acting this year, along with pacino listening to martin donovan in insomonia).  the other scene is when she and dennis haysbert are walking in the woods and a tear comes out of the corner of her eye.  this scene is actually more of a technical acheivement, but a remarkable one nonetheless.   i have to profess that i have never thought much of moore until neil jordan's end of the affair.  (i'll even admit that i blubbered throughout that one!)

i have never thought much of dennis quaid either, but haynes gave him a few challenges which he met.  as an actor, i'd say that his kissing another man was nothing compared to the emotions required of him in other scenes, particularly his breakdown in front of his wife and children. 

dennis haysbert was fine.  i've felt kind of sorry for him since i first saw in love field because quite frankly, he looks like a haysbert.  but that gives him a sweetness that works for his role. 

the funny thing is that the only one of those sirk pictures that i've seen is imitation of life when it was playing as a double feature at the beverly.  the movies were so restricted in what they could say, that i had no idea as to what was going on!“

E ME:  I like Haysbert a lot.  And I heard just last night that he was a big part of the buzz at an Academy screening earlier this week. 

Is anyone actually interested in Pinocchio?