December 20, 2002

By the time you read this, The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers will have made more money than almost any of the likely Oscar movies will make throughout their domestic runs… except for The Two Towers, of course.

One movie that I’m pretty sure we won’t have to worry about after this weekend is Spike Lee’s The 25th Hour. You know the smell of a wet dog? Bullseye!

How do I hate The 25th Hour? Let me count the ways.

1. The worst performance by Edward Norton ever… this is the first time I have ever felt like I was watching him act.

2. Stereotypes rule the day… the hyper stock guy, the nerdy school teacher who wants to bang his student, the student who’ll do anything if the drug is right… zzzzzz….

3. Hero as pedophile… Edward Norton’s character meets his love, played by Rosario Dawson, on a playground swing when she is underage and he is in his late 20s… how romantic!

4. A clock movie with absolutely no clock… Norton’s character is 25 hours away from turning himself in to the authorities and there is no sense of pacing as the time winds down.

5. Extraneous use of 9/11… I’m all for a movie showing a post-9/11 New York. But this film goes way out of its way to include the material and has no real motive, within the story, for the inclusion. Shooting a long, boring scene overlooking Ground Zero and never really paying it off is certainly sincere, but stinks of cynicism when you actually endure the scene.

6. Making a big deal out of a lingering question - even though the way it’s handled guarantees that we already know the answer … the big question of the film is: Who turned Monte in? For one thing, who cares? He’s a scumbag drug dealer. For another, we never really believe that the answer could be anything other than what it is, unless we are pretending that we live in Movie World.

7. Characters drop along the way… why set up characters like Anna Paquin’s and then just let them disappear from the film without so much as a “goodbye?”

8. Tony Siragusa’s Stupid Greek Accent… no it’s not the sequel to My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It was audacious for Spike to hire an NFL player with no real acting experience to be in his movie. But why load him down with a really iffy fake accent?

9. The Damned Ethnic Slur Thing… Uh, Spike… we saw every other film you made. Long rambling speeches loaded with expletives, preferably with the actor on a dolly, have been done to death… by YOU. Sadly, Edward Norton has no rhythm and treats a rhythmic speak like bad free verse.

10. About that dolly shot… too little, too late, pal. Give it up. It’s become the wrong kind of trademark… like Adam Sandler farting.

11. Are cops really stupid AND cruel? I don’t mind them being one, but being both seems obvious and cheap. And the guy you have playing Cop #1 really cannot act to save his life.

12. Why would a guy going to jail for years not choose to sleep with his gorgeous girlfriend the night before he goes? Yes, 25 hours before he’ll be grabbing his ankles and pray for a roommate with a small penis,and he doesn’t touch Rosario Dawson once in a sexual way.

13. When the realist becomes the romantic for no reason… it makes perfect sense for the Barry Pepper character to help make the transition easier for the Norton character. (I don’t want to give to much away.) Why does the idea suddenly turn him into a Buddhist monk and leaving him crawling around on the ground like the cast of Rocky Horror?

14. How much sympathy can we have for a man with no remorse?

15, Real firemen who lost real friends on 9/11…. Oh, how real!!! Still being exploited 15 months later!

16. As a man in my 30s, I realize that the friends that I still stay close to are not the friends with whom I have absolutely nothing in common…. The three men at the center of this film share nothing real between them. They would have grown apart years before this film takes place.

17. In the couch?

18. Is child molestation in vogue again? There are two underage girls in the film having sexual dalliances with significantly over-age men. Are we supposed to find this… banal?

19. Why is the primary question, will Monte surrender himself or run, pretty much avoided until the third act?

20. Why is a convicted drug dealer with an obvious motivation to run allowed to turn himself in on his own schedule? Why is Mr. Flight Risk 2002 out on bail at all?

21. Why is he driving to the prison instead of surrendering to police in the city?

22. Why is a Russian drug dealer spinning yarns, telling tales like a 1978 Bond villain that Mike Myers would spoof.

23. Why should we root against a drug dealer being imprisoned?

24. The movie never can really decide whether Rosario Dawson’s character is the earth to Norton’s character or a bimbo with a fabulous chest

25. The goatee.. Edward Norton doesn’t look tough with a goatee…. he looks like a 9-year-old who’s drawn on his face with a marker.

WEEKEND PREVIEW

One ring shall rule the month.

Cape Fear, Martin Scorsese’s highest grossing film, totaled out at $79.1 million domestic. Gangs of New York seems unlikely to manage to hit that mark in its domestic run. But LOTR: The Two Towers will probably manage that this weekend alone.

The action builds this weekend for some limited-run Oscar-ambitious movies as well. Adaptation expands out to more select markets in 109 venues. About Schmidt expands to 24 screens. Antwone Fisher opens on 15 screens. And The 25th Hour and Morvern Caller open on 5 screens each… if you liked Jesus’ Son, you’ll adore Morvern Caller.

And a hint on Two Weeks Notice… ruff, ruff (scratch, scratch) ruff, ruff.

WEEKEND GUESSTIMATES

1. LOTR: The Two Towers – 3622 venues – new - $78 million
2. Two Weeks Notice – 2755 venues – new - $11.1 million
3. Gangs of New York – 1505 venues – new - $10.5 million
4. The Wild Thornberrys - 3012 venues – new - $9.7 million
5. Maid in Manhattan - 2866 venues – off 36 percent - $12 million
6. Star Trek: Nemesis - 2711 venues – off 52 percent - $8.9 million
7. Drumline -1837 venues – off 41 percent - $7.4 million
8. Die Another Day – 2075 venues – off 42 percent - $4.5 million
9. The Hot Chick - 2217 venues – off 47 percent - $3.922 million
10. Harry Potter2 - 2750 venues – off 39 percent - $3.8579 million

READER OF THE DAY: THE B TRAM writes: “Well, I never saw the movie yet, but I've read the book. And yeah, it's kind of hard to figure out the theme of "The Hours"---there's just too many themes. It is considered a "highbrow" book, after all. But after several readings of the book, I think there is a central theme: our identity. As Nicole Kidman aptly describes the film, "it's all about characters constantly redefining themselves." We all tend to abhor the stereotypes imposed on us, yet, as like Virginia Woolf, Laura Brown, and Clarissa Vaughn, we do define ourselves, who we are, who we think we are.

It is our "identities", the way we perceive ourselves in front of everyone else's eyes, that make us feel safe and secure; we feel like we have productive roles in society. (Virginia is the literary, intellectual socialite, Laura the dutiful housewife, Clarissa the sophisticated, successful Greenwich editor and lesbian.) And so it is at the turning point of their lives, when suddenly they experience their identities changing---due to their ambiguous sexuality---that they panic and eventually undergo these horrendous nervous breakdowns as their external identity starts succumbing to their latent, emerging new identity. They realize the potential consequences and harm it can have on them, on their family and friends. They begin to relinquish to feelings of hopelessness.

On another note, I think that the whole repetitive lesbian motif is just a minor theme (despite the fact that Michael Cunningham, the book's author is gay). It is used as a subplot device that drives these women to question their identities. Also, I think it was Cunningham's literary homage to Virginia Woolf, herself, who was bisexual.”

And Taiwan Steve writes: “I saw "The Ring" about two weeks ago, so I stay longer than 7 days to write to you how I think about it in case any spooky came out.

UIP Taiwan, The local distributor of "The Ring", gave it very funny title name, "The Ring, west side story". You see, since all of us already saw the original, that's the only why to make us to see it again.

"The Ring" has been remake as a American pop culture, with lots of ideas from the original. This horror film is about "Teenagers", just like other American horror films. Yes, all horror films are nothing but teenagers. Because they are the consumers of horror films, so you must make these movies be the identification of teenagers.

Jason form "Friday 13th" died as a child due to careless college students. So he came back to revenge. Freddy from "Nightmare on Elm street" was burn to death because he rapped children, then he killed more teenagers in their dreams. Michael form "Halloween" made his first murder at age 6, then back to kill more. "Scream" is the classic American horror film that has nothing but teenagers, teenagers were killers and victims in the story. You see, all teenagers in horror films always ignored by their parents and teachers, so they must stay together and fight the evil back. Why? That's the only reason teenagers can get their satisfaction when they became their own master in these chasing and killing.

"The Ring" is also a horror film about teenagers. The victims, the two leading characters, and "Samura". They are all teenagers. Even Rachel and Noah are adults, but they act much more like teenagers. They had a boy but never get married. Rachel never asked her son to call her "Mom". Noah had nothing to say to his son in the raining. Rachel just left this kid to any babysitter, focus on her own life.

When adults can be good parents, they will get trouble. That's what the formula happened in "The Ring". Richard and Anna had no clue about their daughter. They didn't know how to solve her problem, they considered her as a big problem they could get it off as soon as they could, in any possible way. All parents would be punished by their children, that's the curse video all about. And it really haunted Rachel and Noah.

So you can consider "The Ring" is the revenge weapon form teenagers to parents. It is a warning sign : "If you can't grow up and be a adult, take care your children, then they will, and take over everything".

"All she wanted is to be heard", that's what "Samura" wanted. And all other teenagers, too.

E ME: Do you want to be heard?