March 20, 2003

Okay… I lied.

All I can tell you about something other than The Oscars is that a significant portion of the advertising campaign for View From The Top is taken from outtakes that run over the credits, not the movie itself. It is not funny. It is not clever. It is not worth $3, much less $8. If you are going to be satisfied by a movie that offers up Ms. Paltrow and Ms. Applegate in really tight clothes and one bikini that shows off the truly remarkable tone of Ms. Applegate’s thighs or if you, like me, have always found Kelly Preston ceaselessly sexy and don’t mind, unlike me, seeing her ample bosom looking like Farmer John forgot to express her milk for a month or two… this movie is for you!!! It is not as clever as The Sweetest Thing (not a compliment to either film). It is not as romantic as Eminem and Brittany Murphy in the metal shop in 8 Mile (not a compliment to either film). And it is not a funny as a fart (and I don’t find farts all that funny).

There is an Oscar column at MCN… if you can stomach it.

And now, READER OF THE DAY!!!!

IMMIGRATION & MATUR-ALIZATION SERVICE writes: “With bombs about to drop at any minute, I find it strange that so many people are putting such energy into worrying about whether the Oscars should go on or not. Aren't there more important things that should be occupying our minds right now? I don't much care what Hollywood decides to do at this point.”

DE = U.S. writes: “HA!! No one can remember last year's Oscars.

If this years Oscars are remembered for anything, it will be remembered as the year the Academy's gluttony and short sightedness caused them to slit their own throat.

Let me tell you something Dave, because I've been looking into it. Gen-X and Gen-Y don't give a shit about the Oscars. And to their credit (or un-credit) they do pay attention to the media. And what do they see? Campaign, campaign, corruption, campaign, greed, campaign, politics, campaign, and now narcissism and disregard for the rest of the world.

As much as we LOVE the movies, we see it is not about the movies anymore. And so we don't care anymore in this self-aggrandizing indulgence that lost any sense of prestige years ago. And we don't participate anymore. When we were younger it was fun, but we see the truth of it now and our cynicism grows. So we don't participate.

When the boomers are gone, the Academy Awards will hit a much-needed rock bottom. Because X and Y are done with it and there will be no one to watch and fuel the cycle of greed. The Academy will be forced to go away and sober up. And in that time away, hopefully the Academy will be able to regain a sense of what used to make the awards special. A sense of self, class (which it has no doubt lost all of) and dare I say, spirituality. Because there was a time when there was a spirituality to the Academy awards because they celebrated the MAGIC of movies. Not the business of movies. When the Academy sobers up from being too drunk on television advertising rates and media coverage. When the Academy and it's members sober up from being too drunk on voting and marketing politics and votes on the movies themselves. And vote because of the magic of those movies and how they make one feel, then we will come back. And the media needs to quit enabling the Academy like the drunken relative you dearly love but is destroying your family. While you turn your head and pour them a drink. (Actually, one could blame the media for the state of things, and at the same time thanking them for showing us that won't put up with this trite what's really going on)

You don't know that we're gone yet, because there are plenty of boomers to enable your narcissistic addiction. But we are gone, and if not, then we're in the process of leaving. We'll get the results the next morning on that little thing called the internet that we inherently understand, but the boomers that are ruining the world don't. But we won't watch. And when we're the only ones left, who will justify your advertising rates? And when you hit your bottom (and it is coming, especially after your behavior this year), sober up and recover a sense of identity and class of what the Academy awards should and used to be (sorry, a montage of past shows playing in my local theatre as a commercial before I see the movie that should win doesn't cut it) and you show us that it is about the movies again, we will be there.

That's what, if anything, that this year's Academy awards will be remembered for. The beginning of the end.”

NOT SPEAR writes: “I'm not sure why you printed the second half of that "soldier's" letter. If you didn't want to offend people (60% support Bush) or to start a political debate, there was no reason for you share that ridiculous Hitler analogy with us. That isn't censorship; It's jettisoning an offensive, political diatribe from a column about MOVIES.

If someone wrote an interesting letter, then tacked on some ridiculous right-wing statement, and then brought it into "context" by referencing a current movie, I hope you would cut it.

Example: "In reality, the Iraqis are just like the Orcs from Lord of the Rings, and I can't wait for the slaughter."

I honestly don't think the Bush comment is that far from it.

Saddam is the one killing his own people. Reports of him SHREDDING people came out a couple days ago, and this is after he already gassed thousands. By some accounts, he's already a third of the way to 6 million deaths. Just as much hate and intolerance comes from the far left, and it makes me ill.

Why share either wacko, extremist side with us?”

CHEESELAND JOHN writes: “I guess I'm not even caring so much if this gets printed, as I'm not sure if I can get around to a context on something else.

In a way I'm disappointed you printed a letter of such outrageous stupidity and shallowness. Most of my liberal friends unfortunately come off like this; that they care a billion times more about something than anyone else could. It's all about emotion and all about them, and it kills them to think anyone could HATE them. They will pander for sympathy ("Maybe my friends will die. Maybe I will.") because hey, it just sounds so fucking COOL, like their Hollywood heroes in one of their favorite movies.

I would suggest that "Unknown Soldier" look long and hard at just what it takes to achieve LASTING peace. It's often WAR. If they ducked out of the movie theater long enough to read some history books they might be shocked to learn just how soaked the ground they walk on IS with the blood of people who died for it. If people like Unknown truly DID care so much about life, they would have some respect for the people who earned and won peace, not the ones who merely talked and postured their way towards a shining Utopia that sadly can never come (least of all during our lifetimes).

Shame on all the rest of the world who has so quickly forgotten how bad things get worse in respect to appeasing power hungry, megalomaniacal dictators. History should have prevented there ever being schools named in honor of Neville Chamberlain and his beliefs, however good-intentioned they might have been. Good intentions do not necessarily provide peace or anything else; good, smart ACTIONS do, with history as a guide. Where are all these people learning these petty, selfish, and purely partisan ways?

Ironically enough, I think it's the very freedom they live (and become lazy-) under. Idle time and liberal mush being spoon-fed to captive audiences in schools around the world breed this contempt for any other point of view but their own.

So you're living in fear and you're heartbroken that anyone else on the other side of the world could hate you, Unknown? Well, I hate you too. You're not just an ugly, painfully ignorant American, you're a blind one if you can't see what war will END in Iraq. The civilians who have suffered under Saddam for 20 years might just LOVE your country for ending their nightmare. Did you stop to consider that? I doubt it. It's laughably obvious your problems begin and end with President Bush, as that's the only way you're going to ho-hum the Holocaust and its far-reaching effects as you do, and paint a man of conviction and necessary, morally sound ACTION as a "monster". Please. Turn off the reality TV and look at reality itself. You might learn something.

There's tons more I could say, David, but perhaps this isn't the right forum. Even if this doesn't get printed, at the very least it's helped me collect my thoughts for future use against the "Unknown"s of the world.

I respect you more than any other entertainment journalist I regularly follow, which is why once I again I'll repeat my disappointment at your choosing to print that letter. I didn't read it as "powerful". Just pathetic. I'm left thinking you might have just printed it only to get some furious feedback.

"Hot Button", indeed!”

DAVID RESPONDS: I ran it because I know that it was honestly come by, even if it’s hyperbole was intentionally hyperbolic. I am, passionate though I get, a pretty moderate human being. I think that comparing Bush to Hitler is a bit wacky and I think that insulting Unknown Soldier for going to that extreme is also unnecessary.

This is a moment in history that calls for reflection. I can’t say I’m not pleased that people are screaming about yesterday’s ROTD. But I wasn’t just stirring the pot. Fear is a real emotion that should not be mocked, but understood. Rage is almost always a result of fear. I kinda love the guy who sent that e-mail to me, not only going over the top on Bush, but taking me on too. The willingness to speak is becoming even more rare than people who have something to say. Speak up.

NOT THE MS GUY writes: “Seldom do I read such a negative response to the country in which I live and love. Sure, much of the world is against this view right now. Fine. It is the way our administration’s chosen take and it is the right one. We live in a country that enables people like unknown to spew vitriol at whomever or whatever they wish. This is freedom that the people of Iraq do not have. Another thing they quite possibly never seen, is our entertainment. Our entertainment is known to most of the world and possibly reflects who we are.

A freedom loving people who want to believe a blonde from Beverly Hills can achieve a Harvard Law degree. That the couple who have had adversity thrown in their face overcome it all to be together. Who want to believe that the good guys win in the end. Our entertainment, rather good or bad, represents a window in the American way of life. A window that shows that anything can happen. The people of Iraq do not have this. Excuse me, for wanting the tyranny of an evil regime ended, so they can have freedom. And maybe a chance, to just one day enjoy a movie like most of us do on a regular occasion.

This is not the blackest moment in US history. This is the moment, hopefully, where the tyranny across the world slowly begins to end. Where our country can help those suffering to soon be free. Of course I am just an optimist, but that is something I got from the movies.”

FRANKIE J writes: “I love reading your USUALLY on the money Oscaring...but YOU ARE WRONG. What we need now are the Oscars. Entertainment in this terribly troubling time.

If the Oscars are postponed it will follow in the wishywashy footsteps of our president...

Am I sick yet?

I am sick of the notion that the war (which has now begun) should force us to stop our lives. The Oscars MUST go on to prove to the world that we ARE going on with our lives and we always will...and as superficial as you may think the Oscars are in THESE TIMES, there are FILM lovers like me who have spent their lives loving movies and NEED the Oscars to go on.

I cannot express how profoundly wrong you are on this issue!”

B OF A writes: “If the Oscars are broadcast as planned after the start of war, it would completely solidify the image that a lot of American's have that Hollywood is made up of a bunch of self-enamored, vulgar, left-wing, superficial, out-of-touch, insensitive knobs!

Hollywood is better than that. Isn't it? Postpone the fuckin' awards!”

NEW READER E writes: “I am not a follower of "the industry" and have probably seen about 10 movies altogether since my 9-year-old daughter was born, but I somehow clicked on your controversial article about postponing the Oscars under these extremely horrendous circumstances.

I know that there are many economic concerns regarding the airing of the Oscars but since there are many Hollywood big-wigs, including THE STARS, who are opposed to this war, would it be out of the question for them to take a stand individually and just not show up? If there was any kind of unity amongst them, it could be very powerful.

Is there anyone out there who might be able to organize this at this point?”

E ME: Join the party…. Tomorrow a real column... promise!