March 24, 2003

Morning… can't really do both columns late Sunday night. So go to Movie City News and read me and Dretzka and Klady if you like… there will be more from me on Monday morning… and here is some reader mail about the show…

READER OF THE DAY

THE DISBELIEVER writes: "Okay....Now tell me that what just happened at the Kodak Theater DIDN"T JUST HAPPEN!!! That they ACTUALLY rewarded the single most restrained beautiful performance in several years with a Best Actor award....That they ACTUALLY rewarded an industry pariah (albeit a deeply troubled but hellaciously gifted man) with a Best Director award...That they ACTUALLY passed over drivel like Nia Vardalos's sub-UPN sitcom script and actually gave a screenwriting award to a script (HOLY CRAP!) NOT WRITTEN IN ENGLISH (although, sadly not Y Tu Mama Tambien,,but STILL)...That they actually gave Michael Moore a well-deserved award knowing FULL WELL that what was most likely to come out of his delightfully cranky mouth had NO CHANCE IN HELL of being polite (and was the greatest "fuck you world" speech that I have ever heard!)....That they actually REMEBERED that Spirited Away was on the ballot and just didn't express mail the Oscar to the makers of ICE AGE....Hell, that Marshall Mathers is now the proud possessor of an Oscar...None of this really happened, did it??!!! Next thing you're going to tell me, all those cranky idiots that have been blasting the Oscars in the last few weeks are actually going to own up to the fact that this year's Oscar proceedings really DID award the most deserving (outside of Chicago's SO-undeserved wins in Art Direction and Editing) and to stop being such whiny shits???? Nah! Can't happen...Just like there was NO WAY that (a) the Oscars actually clocked in at 3 hours 25 mins (b) contained more HOLY SHIT moments than the last decade combined and (c) were enormously entertaining and actually contained an Honorary Oscar winner who said his peace elegantly and got off the damn stage in less than 3 minutes (Thank you SO MUCH, Mr. O'Toole, and I really wouldn't have minded a few more minutes of your presence...you deserved that)....Couldn't Happen...Didn't Happen....Did it???"

NOT PINCHAS LEW writes: "Here are my random thoughts:

- WOOO-HOOOO for Polanski and Brody. Adrien Brody stole the show. His speech was priceless...both the hilarious parts and the political statements. I do wish "The Pianist" would have won Best Pic, but I think the awards it did take (Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Actor, best Director) speak volumes.I'm glad Gangs was shut out, although now I feel bad for Scorcese. But hey, Gangs wasn't that good of a film. He'll be back...and perhaps with a lesson learned about shoving himself down our throats. Those eyebrows tickle the windpipe!

- Michael Moore's speech was verbatim (or ad nauseum) the same speech he gave at the Independent Spirit Awards. Saying "we have a President who wasn't elected" is about as funny as those Dan Quayle "spell potatoe" jokes. IT'S PLAYED OUT!
Why not use: "Good thing Winona wasn't there, she might have STOLE something!" HAR!
"Good thing Michael Jackson wasn't there, he might have dangled the statue!!" Hooo-HAHAHA!
"Robert Blake should have just shot his MOUTH off" AH-HAHAHAHH.
"George Bush is DUMB" LMAO!!
Get some new material.
I still, at their core, like Moore's intentions and many, if not most of his views...but for Christ's sake say something interesting.

-Also, taking off of Moore's speech.....I found it ironic the biggest piece of film propaganda since "Why We Fight" or "Triumph of the Will" won Best Documentary. I guess since it's left wing propaganda it's O.K. It was also nice of Moore to pay tribute to those kids who lost their lives at Columbine by saying something nice to or about them...since he used their school name to grab attention in his film title. Oh wait, he didn't say anything.

- The thing I can't figure out is how "Chicago" can win best costume when basically, the costumes are from the play? Best sound for "Chicago?" Weird. The *sound* is Oscar worthy, but not the SONG nominated. Riiight. Also, how could it win best EDITING when basically, you have to match the singing shots to the singing? I KNOW I'm dumbing it way down but "The Hours" or "Adaptation" were superior in editing...as was 2 Towers.

- I don't really care that "Chicago" won Best Picture, it wasn't horrible. I think "The Pianist" was a better film and the awards it did take home were great ones.

- I'm still soooo confused on "Y Tu Mama Tambien" and "Talk to Her" NOT being nominated for Best Foreign Film. Also, did "Y Tu Mama Tambien" even HAVE a script?? Great story, GREAT movie...but it felt improvised. Maybe that was the genius of it.

And....Steve Martin was terrific. The show was a nice escape from CNN/MSN/FOX war coverage.

All in all, I'm pretty happy with the awards....although "Adaptation" should have got some more props."

REESE'S PIECES writes: "Painful, painful, painful. You were right on this one. It should've been postponed, if not cancelled. Michael Moore deserved more boos than he received. Of course, there in Hollywood, he'll be hailed as the brave one who spoke out--a man who's safety is being defended by men taking bullets while he blathers more self-important crap.

Well, as Jesus said of such blowhards: "They have their reward."

The show's saving grace?

Catherine Zeta Jones and Sean Connery. Fantastic, the both of them. And Pete O'Toole's speech. Classy all around."

THE FIBBER writes: "Hooray for all those that booed Michael Moore! Susan Sarandon know to be subtle, Babs, oblique and opaque, Dustin silent, but looked bitter because he saw what happened to Moore and Almodovar for stating well thought out principles rather than go on a personal attack, Peter O'Toole for being ever so classy and eloquent and gracious to the U.S. and Adrian Brody for having the chutzpah to plant a big wet one on Halle Berry!

Steve Martin was sublime. The perfect host for the times.

The three big wins for The Pianist gave the evening a big boost. That's what we like to see.

Now for the nastiness:

When Catherine started to sing someone at my party asked "is she expecting?" When they cut to the queen someone asked "Is SHE expecting?"

Streisand looked great, a lot better than last year when it looked like a female impersonator showed up in her place. I think if Paul Simon or Kander and Ebb had won, she would have kissed them. Hell, she would have even let Bono kiss her, but not Eminem's cowriter!

...oh and do away with the Oscar winner gatherings every five years. They seem kind of pointless and slowed down an otherwise well paced evening."

THE OTHER JOHNNY ENGLISH writes: "I imagine a lot of Hollywood types are going to praise Michael Moore for exercising his free speech rights by slamming "Mr. Bush" but I'm also proud of the thousands in the audience who exercised their free speech rights by booing him.

I'm thrilled the wealth was spread by letting Adrien Brody become the youngest ever to win Best Actor.

I'm just relieved Renee Zellweger didn't win Best Actress.

Now Martin Scorsese can win Best Director down the road for a movie William Goldman doesn't hate."

Finally, SWEET BABY GUY writes: "Well, I could care less about award shows. I haven't watched the Oscars in years and I think most of the awards are given by millionaires to millionaires and have nothing but contempt for them. However, I checked online when the ceremony was over and was astounded to see Mr. Brody and Mr. Polanski taking charge. I know these things mean little, but when you think about the shaft that Mr. Brody got on "The thin Red Line," you begin to see how special this is. After you see "The Pianist," you begin to understand the amazing work that these men showed audiences around the world. Mr. Polanski really blew me away with the film. The quietness of which really astounded me. It was really a unique experience.

I suppose the only downside to the evening was Mr. Kaufman getting the shaft for the greatness that is "Adaptation." Have you have stated before, this film is going to be studied forever because of its intelligence and intricate structure. Yes, "Chicago" won best picture but does that really mean anything to anybody?"

E ME: Join the party!