March 25, 2003

I’m still hungover…

I guess it shouldn’t surprise me. It’s been a six-month Oscar bender.

I attended a ritual lunch on Monday, discussing the war and preparing to move bravely towards summer. But lovely as it was, I don’t expect to really get over this until I get back from my busman’s holiday in Bermuda.

Yes, THB will be on vacation April 14-18. There may be the occasional report on Movie City News. But I am going to my best to stay out of touch.

MCN’s 15 Weeks To Oscar will end this Thursday with the “Lessons Learned” column. Then on April 24, the 15 Weeks Of Summer will begin. (The column will, of course, last 16 weeks.)

Notice how I haven’t written anything of value yet?

And I’m not going to today. If the New York Times can’t find anything to write about today… well, that doesn’t usually stop me. But I need to take a slightly deeper breath. Tonight, I’ll see a movie… hair of the dog.

In the meanwhile, read the MCN columnists on Oscar. They are a hoot. And if you are into the kinds of movies that tend to appeal to teenage boys, prepare yourself for Friday, when a new site will be born. MCG is coming.

There were so many great letters yesterday… here are a few more of them… just remember, the readers wrote this stuff, not me. So write me about them. But keep in mind, I am trying to offer up a cross-section, not a vote for my own opinions, which I can express for myself.

READERS OF OSCAR MORNING: THE OTHER JC writes: “I love "The Pianist," and Adrien Brody and Roman Polanksi both did something that has become almost unheard of in recent Academy Awards - they won on merit. In both cases, particularly in Brody's, there is no discernable political end served by awarding them. What a novelty. However, awarding "The Pianist" Best Adapted Screenplay may have been the biggest misfire by the Academy last night. And if ever a screenplay deserved to win on its own merits it is "Adaptation." The fact that it did not win is just plain wrong. It is the most innovative screenplay since, well, ever, and EVERYONE knew it. For not rewarding Charlie Kaufman, the Academy should be as ashamed as it should be proud for rewarding Polanksi and Brody.”

NOT THE YANKEE writes: “This was one of the best Oscar shows in recent memory. Steve Martin came up with lots of great lines. The people I work with were quoting him all day, which is a good sign.

What I want to know is what did Colin Ferrell mumble at Steve? Can anyone translate/explain? Steve had indicated Colin was a prime candidate for rehab. Did Colin say, "I'd like to say you were funny, but I'd be lying." ?

I'm glad Renee did not win. I'm glad "Gangs" got shut out. I was thrilled that "The Pianist" got 3 awards. When Kirk ripped the Best Picture card in half, I thought that meant "The Pianist" had won and he was angry that his daughter-in-law's picture had lost. It could have turned out that way.

The gowns were great...with the exception of Cloris Leachman's. Meryl Streep and Kathy Bates looked great. Not only did Brody win the big one, but he got to plant a long one on Halle Berry. The standing ovations were great. All the clips and montages were great. All the electricity in the air was great.

Final question: Will Nicole present the Best Actor Oscar next year to Tom Cruise for "The Last Samurai"?”

DAVID RESPONDS: Great question. Fascinating. And as for what Colin said, I believe it was a mumbled attempt at a joke that he moved off of quickly when there was no laugh. He said, “I don’t know what you were told, but it was a lie!” This was in response to a joke about Colin’s sexual reputation.

THE SINGING LOBSTER writes: “You didn’t like his speech? Ya weak American wuss, you! I think if you can tolerate troops killing Iraqis, you all should take time to listen to a little speech...and take some pills.”

GA-RON-TEE writes: “I thought last night's Oscars was a huge success, especially in light of the political surroundings. Full of memorable moments, some surprises and a perfectly toned Steve Martin, the show was the ideal antidote to the troubles abroad and at home.

The real surprise of the evening was not Adrien Brody's deserved victory, but Polanski's. The sense was that Nicholson's support was eroding, and that neither Cage nor Caine had any to begin with. That left Daniel Day-Lewis, in a movie few people loved, and Adrien Brody, in a movie clearly gaining huge support from within the industry. To a person, every one I spoke to about "The Pianist" was a huge fan. No detractors.

But to give Polanski the award, knowing the repercussions, took a lot of chutzpah. Marshall and Scorsese were the clear front-runners here, but it took a lot of people deciding that you CAN separate a person's art from their life, to award Polanski the honor he frankly deserved.

All the campaigning for Scorsese by Harvey and Co. obviously backfired, leaving voters with this interesting thought: a fugitive pederast has more respect than Harvey Weinstein.

As for the technical awards, say what you want about Gangs of New York, but to say that Chicago was better art directed or costumed is bogus. Every frame of Gangs was created from the ground up, creating a historical universe that no longer exists in a tangibly real, heavily detailed way. Chicago was minimal artifice. We won't even go into Best Sound other than to say to the voters of the Academy that sound is different than Score...

And finally, Michael Moore. You knew he was going to say something. I'm not offended by his judgment--this is America, people. As he said, he doesn't check his citizenship at the door of the Kodak Theater. I'm offended by his argument. It's old, stale and nearly incoherent. For a guy who has made a career of making political statements and knows full-well he's going to make a political statement on stage, you'd think he'd be better prepared and more articulate. Embarrassing for him.”

CHICAGO JOE writes: “A star was born in Adrian Brody last night, not for the picture or performance or even for winning, but for the acceptance. He was perfect - funny, thoughtful, bold and very well spoken. You could almost see him as a young O'Toole without the booze. The world loves this guy this morning. I didn't think he'd make it in the looks department (to my eyes he looked like Ray Bolger with a $200 hair cut) but I'm hearing from the ladies this morning that they liked what the saw in a big way. See also: Gael Garcia Bernal. Big impression made there I think.”

D-n-A writes: “The best moment for me was seeing "Spirited Away" win despite Disney's non-support. It was a shame, though, not to see Miyazaki-san not there to accept. (Perhaps Disney forgot to Fed-Ex his ticket to him or gave it to Miramax since they were short a few).”

SES 2003 writes: “I won't rehash what I thought were the high points of this year's Oscar show---it's all been said already. After the show was over my thoughts went to Marty. Oh Marty. He lost, again. But really, who was really rooting for that film. It was all a pitiable charity campaign. Wouldn't it have been better for Marty (and us) if he lost with his dignity intact. I don't know whose idea the "Let's Get Marty His Oscar Now" dog 'n pony show was, but it sucked and it just made my heart sad. Did we really need to see one of our greatest living directors trolling around for votes and validation like an Amway salesman? The whole spectacle had an aura of desperation that was just rank. I wish that sometime during the whole sad spectacle he just had a completely earned breakdown/tirade a la Peter Finch in "Network" something along the lines of this. . .

Hey do you know who I am? I 'm Marty Scorcese. Martin Fucking Scorcese!! I'm done, this is bullshit. I'm out here begging, groveling, fake smiling, glad handing, grinding my ego into dust for what? For what?! To become a member of "the club." I could cobble together the scraps from Thelma's editing room floor that would be twenty times better that 3/4 of the shit that 's foisted on the public from you people. My goddamn life's dream micromanaged to a horrible death by that fat fuck. And now this. This. All so I can break bread with the assholes who 've bested me before or who have pissed off the fewest people. Craggy Bob Redford and that fucking Lifetime movie that beat Raging Bull. And Costner, Kevin Costner, that preening, pretentious asswipe. How have the world 's film lovers been enriched by deeming that little shit a director--Waterworld, The Postman! Opie Cunningham has an Oscar. Motherfucking Mel Gibson has an Oscar. O Jesus Christ the horror. And now that chain smoking fuck is making his Jesus movie. Hey ho mate the words "Last Temptation of Christ" mean anything to ya? Oh no, dear pious Mel probably hasn't been ten feet near my flick. No, his "Passion" will be the definitive depiction of Christ's last days. Great, just what the world needs---fundamentalist Christian porn. Nah, that's it I'm done, party's over. Fuck you, fuck them, and most of all fuck me for submitting myself to all this bullshit. I'm packing up my shit and going back to New York. Call me in ten years for my honorary Oscar.

I'm convinced Marty would have slept better last night after this vent :-).”

A WHOLE DIFFERENT SES writes: “I did NOT enjoy the Oscars this year at all for the following reasons:

1) Almost no movie or actor whom I wanted to win, won!

2) "Gangs of NY" not winning Set Design is so ridiculous that it doesn't warrant further comment. Okay, it does warrant further comment. THE SET MAY HAVE BEEN ONE OF THE GREAT SET DESIGNS IN FILM HISTORY, CERTAINLY, THE PAST

20 YEARS. IT MAY ALSO BE ONE OF THE LAST SET DESIGNS OF THIS MAGNITUDE.

3) What happened to the brief clips that used to appear as each acting nomination was announced. Don't we show a clip of Adrien Brody performing in "The Pianist," Day-Lewis in "Gangs," etc. as each nominee's name is read? Those clips refresh one's memory as to the strength of the performance, and they deepen the emotion of the moment and the show. Was this part of toning down the glitz? Bring the clips back!!!!!!!

4) Michael Moore is one of the most sanctimonious individuals I have ever come across. Sanctimony is one of the few character traits that I find almost unbearable to witness. In my opinion "Bowling for Columbine" was pure sensationalism. Blaming Charlton Heston for the negligence of a young girl's guardian is borderline criminal. I know you loved it, but I disagree strongly with you. I came away from the movie unenlightened, intellectually deprived, and confused as to the main thesis of the film.

Moore is a demagogue who ignores any attempt at fairness in order to create his spurious arguments.

I consider myself a political centrist, all over the political map at times, but a centrist in total. I find Moore to be a shameful individual.

5) I love film; I love the traditions of Hollywood and all its luster and history. What I do not love about modern day Hollywood is its politics. I agree with Hollywood on some of the issues they support (i.e. freedom of artistic expression, and others), but my impression is that many of the Hollywood elites support free speech as long as they agree with it, and that is NOT free speech.

I've said enough. I try to ignore the politics of actors and enjoy the beauty of the work put forth.

I'm a bit surprised you consider yourself a member of the left. From reading your column for the past few years I was almost positive you were a centrist, leaning right on some issues. I view you as a pragmatist. I don't care what your political leanings are, but I am surprised. I am not a partisan. I find individuals who believe that either party is right on everything to be intellectually lazy.”

DAVID RESPONDS: Lefties consider me a right leaner. Righties consider me a leftie. New Yorkers think I’m from L.A. Angelinos think I’m from NYC. I must be doing something right! Ultimately, most of my opinions, religious and political, lean towards the original texts and not modern interpretations. I believe in the answers that we seek and honor in chasing those goals. It all goes back to the Golden Rule.

JUST CHRIS writes: “I have even less respect for Michael Moore this morning as I did last night. He's just a blowhard and all this crap makes his films look one sided and just

flat out bad. Now i realize he has a full agenda on what he does. He's not impartial. Maybe he should live in Iraq for a week and tell us how he likes it. Live in a country where you're tortured if you disagree with the government. Where you are shot. Where your family is taken from you. Where you have no material things. No rights. But hey, it’s all about oil right?”

THE WIZARD OF STREET writes: “With almost no campaigning, Hayao Miyzaki wins Best Animated Film!! That was the first major surprise of the evening, setting the tone for things to come. I almost lost my breath from gasping at the Academy's astonishingly good choices this year.

(Still hurting over Chicago's Art Direction and Best Pic wins, but still... not bad!)

One last thing, the Academy owes Peter Jackson now. My lord... they failed to nominate it for so many things, it's disgraceful! Gollum's Song should have been nominated and performed, and it should have won. Best Art Direction... Best Sound Editing... Best Costumes... Best Makeup... Best Director... Best Cinematography...

Sigh...”

PEYTON PLACE writes: “A good Oscar show needs: Surprises that puncture the general air of inevitability (Brody, Polanski), a funny host (Martin was great, even without Russell Crowe to push around), memorable acceptance speeches (Brody again, and yes, Michael Moore). I didn't look at my watch once. On the other hand, the Workman montage sucked, Meryl Streep's introduction of O'Toole was nice, sure, but given that she's never worked with the man and more than likely doesn't know him, well,

the latter steals a little emotion from the moment. And O'Toole's grandiloquence seemed a little canned. Finally, it's too bad there wasn't some sort of backup plan in case Polanski won. I'm assuming he wasn't interested in sending someone to accept on his behalf. But Ford or no, this also stole a little welcome emotion. And finally, as for Moore, yes, he's a buffoon at times, but come on, that was great theater. The crowd rises to its feet as one, because they are tolerant and liberal, and seconds later half of them are spitting mad, so much so that the best line of the night was lost in all that tumult. "If the

Pope and the Dixie Chicks are against you, you must be doing something wrong!" (Oh, and historical note? Yes, citing the Florida recount is oh-so 2000, but when time affords us the necessary distance, and the histories are written, I suspect a lot of people will be wondering why more of us weren't shouting just like Michael Moore.)”

E ME: Go for it.