March 27, 2003

Head of State is a car wreck.  Make no mistake.  One minute the editing blender is on chop, then next minute, puree.  And yet, the film gets more than its fair share of laughs.   Audiences who find themselves attracted to the commercials will probably have a good time. 

The movie actually reminds me quite a bit of Rock’s Down To Earth, the direction of which the Weitz Brothers have been apologizing for ever since.   It actually works a bit better.  But it suffers a distinct lack of visual imagination or visual flow.  The framing isn’t terrible.  And the performances are good.  But it looks like television.

The biggest problems with Head of State obviously happened in the cutting room.  There is a lot of “language” in the film, but they still managed to get a PG-13 out of it by cutting out a lot more.  (Rear exit waste okay, front entrance organs not.)  What’s missing is, for instance, the entire storyline of Nikki (Stephanie March), a professional, trained concubine used to keep politicians from going out of house for sexcapades.  I haven’t seen all the footage, but given Rock’s proclivity for the repeating joke – there are quite a few in the film – one can only wonder how this character would be used throughout an R-rated version of the film.  (Ms. March, by the way, uses the sexiest accessory for bimbo-y looking blondes… the smart glasses!  But that’s in real life.) 

If there is one major frustration in the film, it is the limited use of Bernie Mac, who just plain lights it up every time he is on screen.  I can just smell the Oscar-type dramatic role that he’ll do sometime in the next three years and blow everyone away.  In the meantime, he is more than a little special.  But his limited screen time, during which he always sets everyone straight in seconds, is disappointing in its brevity. 

There is one GIANT plot hole that really got my head spinning.  I mean, it was did-they-forget-a-reel breathtaking.  Again, I can only imagine that they restructured the film in editing and were left with little more than sinew in some spots.  Lynn Whitfield ends up playing, structurally, a black Linda Blair.  Dylan Baker has been stuck – again! – with being Basil Exposition… though even that is thin.  The love story feels forced, given they really don’t know each other at all 

And yet… it doesn’t hurt.  There are funny ideas.  There are at least a half dozen out loud laughs.  Rock is, as always, best when he is ranting, not trying to act.  He is a real talent, but he is not a leading man.  He is one of the world’s best second bananas.  One of the troubles with Bad Company, conceptually, is that you can imagine Chris Rock being pulled into that situation, but you can’t really believe him turning into a slick spy.  He’s Dave Chappelle with a bigger following and a more political mindset. 

BEAT IT:  I caught a film on video on Tuesday, after not finding myself able to leave my house still in my post-Oscar exhaustion.  Drumline was pretty damned good.  Irony of ironies, I was chatting with Charles Stone III on Saturday night at a party at the home of a girl genius producer and I unfortunately could not speak to either of his movies from last year, Drumline or Paid In Full.   On Friday, a copy of Drumline has arrived in the mail.  Timing is funny, huh?

Drumline follows some of the basic rules of overdog/underdog storytelling.  Missing father.  Strong, loving mother.  Tough, but fair father figure in new surroundings (in this case, a collegiate marching band).  Good, but inferior buddy.  Fiercely competitive, but worthy upper classman who will inevitably key success.  The too-sweet-for-that-face girl who doesn’t like the jerks and will help make Him a man. 

There are a few twists.  Orlando Jones does drama.  There’s only one white person in the whole danged movie.  (He’s a sidekick character, but that didn’t keep Fox Video from putting him and all light-skinned blacks on the cover of the video.)  And the ending does twist a little differently than expected.  But basically, template stuff.

But it’s good footloose fun.

The world of drumlines is one that’s rarely turned up on film but is, like high school football in Texas, a big part of people’s lives, particularly in the Deep South.  More impressive than the cheerleading competitions used as a backdrop in Bring It On, these bands are really amazing.  The draw is greater than cute girls in short skirts… though those are here too… albeit a bit meatier… as if Sir Mix-A-Lot made Bring It On 2. 

In a world of movies that get closer and closer to real offense in the teen market, Drumline is a worthy entry that never feels like it’s pulling its punches.  Nick Cannon is a compelling actor, if no James Dean.  And Charles Stone III has room to grow as a stylist.  But his movie works in the most important way.  It’s a good story well told.

SUPERMAN:  People were on me last week to write about the Super Mess on Superman.  Someone even went as far as to accuse me of being a Brett Ratner booster.  He even quoted me back to myself.  (Curses!) 

Ratner was a mistake.  He has not proven that he has the skills.  He has failed to prove himself as a box office force without Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker in tow.  He now has to decide what his career is going to be.  If he really believes he can be a quality director, he should make a couple small films and really learn the craft.  If he wants to be a high-profile studio guy who only makes big movies, he should make Rush Hour 3 and live off of it as long as he can.  People who work with him seem to like him.  He is a Good Time Charlie of epic proportions.  But as a director, he is no Dick Donner, he couldn’t carry Zemeckis’ jockstrap, and unless he improves, he will be out of the game by 2008. 

A $250 million budget is outright insanity.  It’s not necessary.  People in this town have to realize that they don’t have to out-Matrix The Matrix or spend Michael Bay money to get Michael Bay box office. 

Now we are hearing about a Chris Nolan Batman with a script still fairly early in development.  Great.  Get that movie into production by early next year.

Now, about Superman.   WB can make a Bay Superman that will do $180 million domestic and make zero profit.  Making three of them isn’t going to be any better.  What is the essence of Superman?  He is a man without a planet, who lives a modest life when he could have anything he wants.  He is the nicest guy in the universe.  Who would I hire from the WB family?  Clint Eastwood… Ridley Scott… as screwed up as Dreamcatcher is, Lawrence Kasden could make a terrific Superman… find a way to get Zemeckis to do it… it is obviously Spielberg’s unlikely destiny – Superman is the ultimate lost boy… Michael Caton-Jones would be a candidate who could get the emotion out of it…

I guess my point is that irony really is unnecessary.  The Nolan Batman will be dark… has to be.  The Hulk will be dark.  Spider-Man will get a little broader, but still a bit dark.  X-Men is Wolverine driven.  Van Helsing is a giant creature feature.  Darth Vader will soon be breathing.  So go the other direction with Superman.  Make a non-ironic, unapologetic super hero. 

I love a lot of the young directors.  But maybe Superman doesn’t need to have needle marks.  As much as I hate the idea, Josh Harnett is probably the guy.  He has no emotional range at all, but that is what a non-ironic Superman would have.  Maybe a new face would work.  Brendan Fraser just has too much comedic baggage, even though he could do it – perfectly – as an actor. 

What about Phil Alden Robinson?  That would work.  The Coppola version would be so beautiful.  And Lex Luthor would be the best role.

I guess the upshot is… hire a real director and make the damned movie.  Stop futzing around trying to read the tea leaves.  You can’t outrace the trends.  Stop trying. 

A warm brown Coppola Superman… in a world of people who have become cynical and fear his power… wow…

READER OF THE DAY:   ON THE BIAS writes:  “Maranatha. Than you for printing that letter by "Voice in the Distance". He should rightly have called himself "The Voice of America". The guy knows his stuff. Very educational, and a timely riposte to the vast left-wing media conspiracy. If it wasn't for Operation Iraqi Freedom, Yahweh knows Saddam Hussein and his naval frigate would almost certainly mean the extinction of Jews, Koreans, Vietnamese, Chinese, and probably both continents of America. Fact is, Israel's 400-800 nuclear warheads have no real chance against bakeries in northern Iraq, or those devastating balsa-wood drones held together by duct-tape. Thinking about what those WMD are capable of is too terrifying to imagine!! Those clueless panty-waist liberal wimps like Michael Moore and Susan Sarandon still haven't come to terms with how a Vietnamese victory in the 1960s would have guaranteed a domino-effect and the fate of the planet collapsing into communism. Those 58,000 American lives sacrificed meant Oliver Stone had the freedom to make movies. If it wasn't for the Bushes #41 and 43, we'd all be speaking Arabic right now, down on our knees praying to Mecca. God Bless America! We save the world every time, and like the Romans, we deserve an Empire, because we're stronger than they ever were, we're the greatest, most powerful, clever, virtuous, peaceful and righteous nation in history, and we are aligned to protect true humanitarian democracies like Saudi Arabia and family-owned oil companies with flags, like Kuwait.

And that "Singing Lobster" idiot who wrote you Tuesday, who suggested that people offended more by Michael Moore's speech than the spectre of innocent civilians dying having their priorities wrong -- AU CONTRAIRE!! Another communist plant!! And probably French. All men are created equal, but America is more equal than others because Yahweh is with us every time, we are Yahweh's gift to mankind. It's not only unreasonable to exercise First Amendment rights when the al-Qaeda-Saddam nexus is threatening to dominate all life-forms in the world, by any measure it's treason. Praise be Yahweh for Mr. Bush and Mr. Ashcroft. If their ideas and convictions prevail, as I pray daily they will, then we can finally extricate those apostate separation of church and state laws, as well as the 1st and 4th amendment obstacles from our precious-but-clearly-flawed Constitution. Time to end the tyranny! It may be churlish to suggest using 9:11 and Operation Iraqi Freedom as opportunities, but you get lemons, you make lemonade, and it's time to fulfill prophecy and decency and make America the Christian nation that Yahweh commands. While we're at it, we can eradicate corruption and moral denigration, plus rectify the pornographic behavior of sexually libidinous women by cloaking them in burqas. The nation, and the world, will be better off.”

THE COP writes:  “Just wondering why you printed "A Voice in the Distance's" moronic diatribe, other than to show that not all of the idiotic readers are 14 year old fan-boys. Any THB veteran knows by now your penchant for gleefully playing agent provocateur in order to facilitate debate, but I am at a loss to see the benefit of such a minority view as "Voice." He or she might be convinced that "...it was very excruciatingly obvious..." that Berry felt put upon by Brody's exuberance, but barring a statement from Berry that she is filing an assault charge I feel pretty confident that I saw a look of surprised participation on her face. In fact, I hoped her husband was a good sport because it looked like was participating a little too willingly.

But the takes-the-cake ill-considered comment from this bonehead supreme was "...if he's really against war, why is he friends with someone in the military? ...." Perhaps I was wrong and this person really is a 14-year-old fan boy or girl. Usually it's the young you can't comprehend the way life twists and turns because they don't have the perspective to appreciate it yet. "Voice" hasn't gotten to that Mister Rodgers episode where Fred explains that  "Just because your friends decide to pursue hobbies and stuff that you don't, doesn't mean you can't still be friends. A real friend, boys and girls, stays one."

Why do I get the feeling that this person is one of those sputtering self-righteous types who only wrote this letter because none of the other guests at the Oscar party agreed with his/her invectives hurled at the screen (or, more probably, after watching alone just had to share this with someone other than the cat).

And please, can someone (perhaps Susan Sarandon) give this twit a book on the 60's with pictures so they can understand that for the last 30 years, flashing a "V" for peace means just that?”

E ME:  Would you believe a man could fly to Cuba and kill his brother?