May 1, 2003

The first "public" screening of The Matrix Reloaded - that I know of - happened yesterday when exhibitors finally got to see the 1000 pound gorilla that follows X2's 750 pound gorilla. Fortunately, I don't have to wait for the buzz from that screening to filter over to me, since as of this writing, I will get a chance to see it for myself in nine and a half hours.

I feel a little like I am on 24 with Keifer Sutherland. The countdown has begun.

Oddly, the slow walk to The Matrix Reloaded has been a bit more like waiting for Titanic than waiting for Star Wars: Episode One - The Phantom Menace or Batman. There is none of the negative energy that was around Titanic, but the anticipation of a movie that is going to be a landmark is unique. Yet, there are not kids (and their parents) camped out at the Chinese or the showplace Village theater in Westwood. Warner Bros. has quietly done something I don't think I've ever seen outside of a premiere. They booked the 1400 seat Village theater as well as The Bruin directly across the street.

To paraphrase the old political chestnut, anyone under 40 who sees Reloaded the first time on The Bruin's inferior screen has no heart… anyone over 40 who is willing to stand on a line around the block in Westwood has no brain. (Okay, my many over-40 friends… chill out… I know you like great film experiences as much as the kids!) But you gotta know that getting into The Bruin for a second or third look at the film will be a popular sideline. By the way… they are starting screenings, at least during opening week, at 9am… last show… 1:40am.

Nine hours and eleven minutes…

TITLE DU JOUR: The buzz about the title for The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen went back and forth with IGN quoting the producer and others quoting the studio. As we wrote here a while back, the actual title has not changed, but for the sake of marketing, it has. Banner ads went up earlier this week asking, "What is The League?" and offering the "LXG" tag, but not the entire name.

The whole point is, movies with unwieldy titles have become known by shortened names and studios are getting hip to it. The success of How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days has not kept people from grabbing a word or two from the title to let you know what they are talking about. I hear and say things like "10 Days To Lose A Guy," "10 Ways To Kill A Guy," "10 Guys & The Girl In The Yellow Dress," or just "10 Days" or "Lose A Guy In 10" or whatever… everyone knows what you mean and no one (other than Lynda Obst) seems to be able to get that title right.

Even on the Fox lot, the scoring stage parking is tagged "League of Gents."

The truth is that in the end, if the movie draws attention, like "10 Things I Hate About Losing A Guy," people will make their own title up and go see the movie and none of this will matter. Clones, Phantom Menace, Last Crusade, Search For Spock, The One With Kilmer, etc etc, etc…

WHAT A BLONDE WANTS: The Lizzie Maguire Movie is fine. Really. Unless the idea of being stuck watching Rugrats with "the kids" makes you want to tear your own eyes out, you won't be unhappy if you accompany your pre-pimpled ones to this film.

Truth is, it is better than that. Hilary Duff has a certain charm and she is surrounded by other television pros, who have stepped it up - at least a little - for the big screen. The whole enterprise is slightly surreal, starting with the fact that a perky, klutzy blonde with a load of insecurities would never be a high school outsider… she would be the ultimate target. And in fact, in this film, she is.

It is one of the weird things about all of these movies. I personally get the feeling that teenagers have slowed their roll down a step in recent years. My evidence is only experiential. There is no doubt that sexuality and drug use is more advanced than it used to be. But there is an odd innocence to all of these Nickelodeon and Disney Channel shows that goes something like this:

Girl wears lots of make-up, a push up bra, hip hugging jeans and either sandals or fuck-me heels. Boys look but don't touch. Girl changes outfits constantly, along with nail polish, hair styles and underwear. Boys look but don't touch. Girl uses her underage charms to distract and control older men and sometimes even women. One boy gets a kiss under the most perfect circumstances.

There is something old fashioned and charming about the come hither/stay chaste thing. And as a grown man, there is something a little creepy about the whole thing. There is the old idea that women don't dress for men, but for other women. And I guess that is true. But the evolution of Britney Spears and Christina Aquilera from Disney Mouseketeers to implanted, ass-wiggling, high profile media sluts reminds us that the line between childhood and brazen sexuality is not very thick.

The movie itself does a nice, if textbook, tour of Rome and a classic Cinderella story that actually has a less textbook ending. Duff and her entire supporting cast get the job done… job that it is. Though I must say that I wonder what happened to on-show best friend Miranda, played by someone who now calls herself Lalaine. (I would have no idea that she existed if the movie didn't bring it up.) Has she outgrown Lizzie Maguire? A movie of her own? Will she be the Christine Aguilera to Duff's Britney? Who knows? Who cares?

I'm not sure that the message that it is cute and fun to run off from a chaperone in a foreign country to meet with a wealthy guy who is tabloid fodder is not setting up a lot of under-16s to end up using drugs and/or getting date raped in Italy when they travel there in a teen group. That, sadly, is where this story is likely to have gone had it been real life. But then again, look at most movies today…

I think back to A Little Romance, which was also about underage kids, but was infinitely more sophisticated and real than any of this wave of teen girl films. Perhaps if released today, I would worry about the "dirty old man" played by Laurence Olivier. But I don't think so. The boy in the film was really a romantic. And the girl became one by knowing him and looking at the mess that her parents were. And Olivier's old man… a rogue… but one who found something to believe in when he saw the nascent love of these two kids.

Nowadays, girl power, which I encourage, has overwhelmed the earnest ideas of romance. I guess that my reaction to girl power is to want to make sure that the empowered girl knows the whole score.

Still and all… a cute little movie that no one else should get caught thinking about too much…

THE AMERICAN IDOL THING FROM EARLIER: I am embarrassed by the increasingly obvious racist nature of American Idol voting. There was only one kid who deserved to be kicked off of the show this week… for a change it was not even close. Joshua Gracin was not even close to the quality of any of the other singers on Tuesday night’s show.

Is it a surprise that the dark skinned black woman who stepped up huge in the last two weeks was voted off the show before the country boy? Had it been any surprise that Rickey Smith was voted off before the obviously inferior blondes, Kimberly and Carmen?

As I’ve written before, I am not a fan of rushing to race as an excuse for anything. But I have no other way of explaining this. Even Joshua Gracin held his head in his hands when he found out he wasn’t even in the bottom 2… He knows.

A lack of taste by America would not disgust me this much. I am used to that. But there is something really wrong here. Votes are counted for contestants, not against them. So it’s not like someone is saying, “We don’t want black people in the final four.” But in a season where black singers did seem dominant, it may be that Kimberly Locke is only still around because she straightened her hair. And that’s not right.

READER OF THE DAY: The American Idol thing brought in a load of mail this morning. (8 hours, 21 minutes to The Matrix Reloaded.) Here is a sampling…

HIS NATTINESS writes: "Last night's bottom two was shocking yes... and probably racist, yes. But also likely, and less popular a notion, it that it has an equal amount to do with the nation's increasingly bizarro "patriotism" which means -all things "All American" = GOOD. All things even remotely less American =BAD. Josh's well publicized military standing and his country flavoring in our newly skewed ethnocentric world view means he is the "MOST" American of the batch. Therefore, in our blind patriotic math --- MOST = BEST. This is clearly to blame for foisting his worse-than-the-standard-American-Idol-mediocrity upon us each week.

All in all though, the contest means little since Ruben is going to have the most successful recording career of any contestant yet. Because he has a) a great voice which b) fits comfortably and one could say classically into a popular musical genre.

If only America would do themselves a favor on Tuesday nights and watch the last few episodes of television's most rewarding long term experience (that'd be Buffy the Vampire Slayer) instead."

SPOCK'S HOMIE writes: "Again David, why are you continuing to stir up controversy over something as ridiculous as 'American Idol'. There is NOTHING racist going on here and to keep implying so makes you seem rather oblivious. Let me break it down for you- the voting has nothing do with talent and everything to do with popularity, likeablilty and the support on the homefront. Of course Joshua should have been voted out over Trynese, but she doesn't have an entire Marine unit + countless other Marines and service people calling in by the thousands each week to insure she stays! And, although it's obvious he is as talented as anybody in this contest, Clay Aiken will win because he has all of the UNC Charlotte student body plus all of Raleigh, NC voting for him each week. These large groups of people are going to vote for their boys no matter how good the other contestants are because they are THEIR candidates. In other words, Dave, the ballot boxes are being stuffed! And if either Clay or Josh were black they would still be getting the same votes from there supporters. It's all about where you come from and who you represent.

Please get off this, I really enjoy your column but this continued attempt to bring attention and controversy to the Hot Button over a silly TV show is just annoying. By the way - are YOU casting any votes for who you think should stay on 'American Idol'? Because if you're not, you are helping to cast off those whom you think should stay. In other words, if you didn't bother to phone in for Trynese over Josh, does that make you racist?"

COLLYERED GREENS writes: "I couldn't agree more with you. I noticed it last season, especially when Tamyra Gray was voted off and Nikki was kept on. I thought Tamyra was a better singer than Kelly or Justin and if it were up to the judges to decide, she would have won the whole thing.

This season, Kimberly Locke and Trenyce were in the bottom three a lot. They've definitely improved their singing since then, and Kimberly Locke hasn't been near the bottom since. But since Trenyce was near the bottom so much, I kept waiting for her to leave. I thought she might get booted before Kimberly Caldwell and Carmen (Carmen should have been booted weeks ago)

If you look at the studio audience you'll see many more white faces than black faces. And if you think about the demographics of the audience at home, you have to assume that more white kids are watching than black kids and that white kids would be more inclined to vote than black kids (these are huge assumptions by me and I may be completely off my rocker)

Also, I always think that female singers have an advantage because they can show off their singing voices more than males because they can have more range. But since the audience seems to skew towards female teens, they're going to have crushes on the male singers.

Which brings us to the bottom line (finally!) that this is ultimately a popularity contest. You can sit at home and listen to these kids sing and say, "that was great" or "that was awful" but if the people who vote think that Clay is cute or that there is no way that they'll vote for a black person, then all singing talent is thrown out the window. It's a shame that it comes down to this, but it's seems to be the truth. Just know that if Ruben is voted off, that Simon will be the first one to sign him to a record deal (he has first dibs) and you'll see a record from him eventually."

(DAVID RESPONDS: It is one of the illusions of American Idol that the finalists are done when they are voted off. They all will tour this summer and all 12 are obligated to work with Simon Fuller, the owner/creator of the show, if they are wanted. It is one of the reasons why watching Simon Cowell as the show comes near an end is fascinating to me, knowing that he is going to be stuck with some of these kids. It is clear that the last thing this guy wants is to have to get into the kind of hype game that Kelly "Never To Be Heard From Again" Clarkson is currently in with Josh Gracin or Clay Akin. He wants a real pop superstar to control. And neither of the guys will get him there. Meanwhile, Tamyra Gray is having more success on Boston Public than Kelly or Justin will have, even when their film is released. Anyway, back to letters…)

This one is from THE WHITE ONE: "The dirty secret of Idol, I think, is the presence of voting blocs. Last year, Nikki's was huge, and she made it into the final three despite the fact that the "unaffiliated" voters who voted quality every week were almost certainly not voting for her. Lots of people talked about the possibility of a Mormon bloc for Carmen, and it's easy to imagine, in the wake of the jingo mania of thepast 18 months, that Josh has an Armed Forces bloc (not so much other troops as "these colors don't run" bumper-sticker owners) plus a country bloc that not only separates him from the other contestants but gives him a unique appeal among a large demo (like, say, my wife, although she'd rank Josh below everyone except perhaps Trenyce).

Rickey had a Gomer Pyle backstage manner, which I think hurt him, and explains why he was gone before, say, the other Kimberly, who was a lesser singer but always glamorous.

Finally, we're taking Fox at their word about vote counts. While I don't think they would remove anyone but the person who got the least votes, I can see them fudging the runner-up for the sake of drama. (Or increasing calls -- seeing Ruben in the bottom two almost makes me want to call in next week.)

On a quality basis, you can't argue that Trenyce wouldn't have fallen to the bottom two this week, and likewise, you can't argue that the "quality" voters would have been equally split between the top three contestants -- plus, Clay and Kimberly receive larger incremental advances in praise this week, I think, relative to Ruben, who's always been loved. Furthermore, Clay definitely has a bloc among choir geeks (though after last night, I bet that 205 is going to mobilize to keep Ruben in the game).

I don't think Ruben is a victim of racism so much as he's a victim of the Dixie Chicks and the new Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow single -- there's a lot of country fandom among today's listening audience (besides, you think it's Ruben fans buying the Idol Lee Greenwood single), and one of the remaining four has a monopoly on that sound. I think Ruben's also a victim of his fans' complacency, because who would have ever thought he would be anywhere but the top two, with the best shot at the whole prize?

Also, that Kimberly changed her appearance is definitely important to her still being around, but I don't think you can reduce it to hair-straightening. She's lost weight at a rate that may not be healthy, and while she needed a new 'do, I'm not convinced that something kinky would have worked less well.

And the last word goes to KIRSCH ROYALE: "David, You are an intelligent, thoughtful guy. Anyone who reads your column on a regular basis knows this. Was it really you who wrote this:

"A lack of taste by America would not disgust me this much."

I thought watching American Idol was the very definition of a lack of taste.

E ME: Whaddya got to say?

Today's new MCN column.