July 1 , 2003

I’ll get to The Terminatrix and T3 too, in a moment…

For a change, test-screening reviews are coming from church groups and not Austin Slim.  Mel Gibson showed his movie to a couple of Christian groups in the last week or so and they have written about the film extensively… but they have carefully avoided a few specific issues that jewish groups keep bringing up from a draft of a screenplay that they read last week.  Digging through the comments at the Church of the Masses, I noticed a decided OCD vibe.  So on the boards, I wrote: 

“I am a jew. And I am a film critic.

I don't much care for the ADL and I don't know much about the Catholic League.

I know about movies. And I can't wait to see this one.

I'm sure it will be seen as heresy, but I see The Bible as art. It is a work of perception, written by men, bent by politics. As as historical text? No. I believe in God, but I do not believe in books. I believe in the shared experience of life on this earth, all reaching for something higher. I also respect your right to believe differently.

I hope that this film will speak to the divine, regardless of which road it takes. I felt that Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ did that. His Kundun did that for me too, and I am not a Buddhist.

I do not need filmmakers who simply find new ways of telling me what I already believe. I want Mel Gibson to take me somewhere else. Just because he makes the film does not make it factual. It is still subjective, personal art. The ADL understands the power of art. But that is no excuse for making any effort to limit expression.

People will find controversy in every single thing, always. Some of it is more pronounced than others. If this movie, in view of reasonable people of various faiths, does not feel anti-semetic, regardless of the details, it will find acceptance, just as other controversial films have. If it feels anti-semetic, again regardless of the details, it will be opposed not just by jews, but by christians of various stripes.

Quantifying emotion is a fool's errand. In the end, it is the emotion that will matter. Just as in all faith.”

No response from anyone on those boards.Not one.  Did I blow it by announcing that I was not one of them?  They seem to respond rather intensely when they are confronted.  Turning the artistic cheek was met by silence. 

Now, how do I convince Mel to let me be the first jew to see his movie?  Hmmm…

TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES – It takes a little while to get used to Terminator 3.  This is not your Cameron’s Terminator.  And it is.  It is the Cameron of the original Terminator film.  That’s not to say that is low-budget and looking like that.  This film features the most expensive greenlit price in the history of film and you really do see it all up there on the screen, especially when you consider that over $50 million of it went to Arnold and the rights to the property. 

Jonathan Mostow is one of a generation of career-young directors who bring the feel of the early 70s to the screen.  He makes straightforward character thrillers that may have some big effects, but none bigger than the story itself.  The same description could also have been used to describe a younger Jim Cameron.  You know, the one who took the haunted house thriller Alien and sequelized it as a war movie.  And then, Cameron found CG.  And it was good.  He became the ultimate director/pioneer to work in the format, maximizing the early history of CG with Titanic.  The Abyss was a heavy drama that got lost in the effects at times.  T2 was another quantum leap in technology   Which brings us back to Mostow…

What J.M. and his band of merry writers, Brancato, Ferris & Sarafian, did was to turn back the clock to the time between The Terminator and T2.  Why was The Terminator so compelling?  What rawness worked so well?  Because the trouble with T2 is that technology has not made the same kind of quantum leap in the last 12 years that made T2 so surprising.  Yeah, it’s cheaper.  And you can come close to recreating humans and animals.  But as we saw in The Hulk and Matrix Reloaded, you can do bigger effects, but none of it is all that different. 

Terminator 3 revisits John Connor’s life in the only way it can without setting it in the future battle with the machines.  It is unavoidable.  If the premise of The Terminator was that John Connor’s life could be ended and the future altered.  But how many times can you hold off the future? 

It is too simple to say that T3 is basically a remake of T2 with an interesting new director with a very different vision at the helm.  The first film told Sarah Conner’s story.  The second film told the story of Sarah and John.  And T3 is about John and his next steps.  Without T2, Sarah Conner’s disappearance from T3 would seem abrupt.  But somehow, Mostow & Co. have made it seem absolutely natural. 

That said, T3 is is basically a remake of T2 with an interesting new director with a very different vision at the helm.  There isn’t a whole lot of difference between a 23-year-old John Conner and the 13-year-old John Conner, except that he already knows what is true.  This time out, Claire Danes’ Kate Brewster gets her eyes opened.  There are some variations between the last Terminator sent to kill Arnie and this one, besides the curves.  But essentially, that’s the same play too.  Out old leather-loving machine friend is vulnerable and fighting against the odds. 

But the big difference is that Mostow, like Cameron the first time out, is not effects crazy.  He spends a lot of money, but the action is, for the most part, real.  Real stuntmen.  Real extreme. 

I’m going to stop now, because I don’t want to get into spoilers and my next key point involves a big third act spoiler.  But when you go the theater to see T3 – and you should – don’t count the dollars, don’t compare to Cameron and don’t get all worked up about what you expected.  Just watch the movie.  I would bet that you’ll have a good old time.  I can’t think of a better antidote to Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle.

LEGALLY BLONDE 2 – Oy.

No one has been a bigger Reese Witherspoon fan than me.  Starting with Freeway, in 1996, the inevitability of her stardom burned bright.  Sexy and vulnerable in Fear.  Trashy and wanton in Pleasantville.  Pretty and petite in Cruel Intentions.  Breathtakingly brilliant and absolutely fearless in Election.  Adult and scary in Best Laid Plans. 

And then came Legally Blonde and everyone was a Reese Witherspoon fan.  Okay.  I like crowds. 

But fame… it is a dangerous thing.  And nothing is more dangerous than actors hiring directors.  Very few of them do it wisely.  And those few are the biggest, longest-lasting movie stars in the world. 

You can talk all you want about Nicole Kidman riding Tom Cruise’s coattails to superstardom, but look at her choices.  Robert Benton, Harold Becker, Gus Van Sant, Jane Campion, Kubrick, Baz Luhrmann, Lars Von Trier, Anthony Minghella, Jonathan Glazer… wow!   That’s not even counting Amenabar, who she got lucky with, Fincher, who she got physically unlucky with, Stephen Daldry, who helped her to an Oscar, and Frank Oz, who may be a sour man but is one of the most underrated mainstream directors in the game.  If you are an actress and you want to be a great star, a decade with this baker’s dozen assures that at the very least, you will be put through the paces.

Or, you could hire Andy Tennant and a second-time indie lightweight like Charles Herman-Wurmfeld. 

I am thrilled that Reese is now working with Mira Nair.  But like The Importance of Being Earnest, which flopped so quietly that no one noticed, there is a good chance that this film will become a one-off art film before Reese goes back to playing movie star. 

There is very little right about Legally Blonde 2.  It manages to hit almost every danger marker in the land of horrible sequels.  Characters from the last film are forced into the picture.  Instead of finding a fresh angle on Elle’s sense of herself, they found about the least believable set of character defining events since Robert DeNiro was forced to move in with Billy Crystal in Analyze That.  Wurmfeld fails to offer any imprint of style until late in the third act and then his style is defined quite specifically as homosexual.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but the gay element is not funny enough to overcome the self-serving tone. 

The story is so convoluted that I could try to explain it into spoiler depths and it still wouldn’t make sense.  Suffice it so say, Elle goes to Washington, but her fiancé’ can’t seem to make the 45 minute flight from Boston more than once, since the cost of the flight would be more than a few days work by the very bust Luke Wilson.  A bunch of bad scientists, right out of a Sid & Marty Krofft movie, are doing evil animal tests on – I can’t believe I am writing this – Bruiser’s mother bitch.  People in Washington think that Elle wears too much pink. 

Are you still awake?

Poor Sally Field.  She deserves better.  So does Regina King.  So does Bruce McGill.  And most importantly, so does Reese.

If you get the urge to see this movie, go to the store and buy the DVD of the original.  You’ll be happier.  Trust me.

And Reese… great directors… I know you think you know what’s best for you… but like those insane director boys on Project Greendeath this year, you need the support.  A great actress like you can handle a great director, a great director will not get lost in the bright light of your stardom.  Congrats again on Mira Nair.  Keep playing to that level or soon, you will have played yourself out, no matter how talented you are.  And there may not be an actress in your generation who is any more talented than you.  We’re out here rooting for you.

READER OF THE DAY:  DS-9 writes:  “I didn't think about the comparisons of Hulk and Godzilla until you brought them up on Monday. Then again, I've tried hard to forget about that Godzilla movie ever since I saw it.

But  I think you're right and wrong about the connection. Yes, Hulk is better than Godzilla, in the acting and writing and execution. But the look of each monster is also important.

I remember people (myself included) walking out after Godzilla saying "That's not Godzilla." This thing was brown and scaly with spikes. Not the green monster with a tiny head and arms that we saw on Monstervision Saturdays. Once word got around, in addition to the film's myriad of other problems, it was dead.

In his movie, the Hulk is still green and wearing those ubiquitous purple shorts. He busts up tanks and breaks through walls and jumps real high. To most people, that IS the Hulk, no matter how familiar they are with the character. Had Lee/Shamus decided to do something wild (giving the Hulk x-ray vision, long blonde hair or a show-stopping musical number) I don't think people would have responded to it as well that opening weekend. Now word's out that the film is a little ponderous (and long...), hence the big drop.

Lee/Shamus colored, for the most part, inside the lines. I did feel bad for the parents who brought their kids thinking it'd be a fun romp. But when the Hulk proper was on screen, the kids were quiet. They got what they came to see.

As of right now, whatever people think of the movie, at least they can feel comfortable in the last half when the green guy is busting the place up. In Godzilla, we didn't know what the hell that thing running through NYC was. They told us it was Godzilla, but I didn't believe it. It sure as hell wasn't the Godzilla I grew up with, effectively killing the whole movie for me.

E ME:  I like The Hulk and love parts of it.  That said, a very smart friend of mine, who got what Lee was up to with The Hulk said to me that the film just didn’t need all the extras.  To wit, “The Hulk got caught in a gamma ray blast and he was this bug green guy in a rage. It was simple!”  And it was.  He may still be green and he has his purple pants, but it is the feel, not the details.  I will bet that had Godzilla had a human attitude, you would have gotten over the changes to his look.  But instead of this character that was fighting for right, she was just a giant lizard. 

In any case, how many movies will you each see in the next six days?

The Matrix Reloaded. Reloaded.
Read Part One
Read Part Two