July 9, 2003

Mail keeps coming in about the Wild Wild West reference made here a couple of weeks ago.  The comment referred to Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. And the reference was pretty specific (albeit not laid out in the review late that week), comparing two films that were made with a great deal of hubris and fell, artistically, flat on its face despite a lot of talented people in tow.   It was not a reference to The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. 

There will be some comparisons to other movies made when I do write about LXC (not a typo… you figure it out!) later this week.  But let’s just leave it at this for the moment… The League is the first film of this summer that may actually get someone fired.  I don’t know who’ll be in the danger zone.  It certainly will not be a situation that can be pinned on marketing, publicity or even distribution.  Stephen Norrington may have made his last studio movie, both because of the results of the work and the results of his behavior in the process. 

That said, the web is buzzing for this film more than they are Pirates of the Caribbean.  So, we shall see.

HOW MANY ANGELS CAN FIT ON THE HEAD OF A PAN:  It may be the greatest story of the year to date.  After making the most hubristic film of 2003 to date, our gals, Cam, Drew & Lu are out promoting the movie across the globe.  No doubt, they are sharing a small room in a youth hostel in each country they hit, given that they are such good gal pals. 

The grrrrls were questioned by the Germans about the fiscal dirt bike wreck that the film has been in the U.S. (The film will probably hit $80 million after its third weekend.  Hitting $100 million is going to be a challenge.)  They answered (name/nickname):

Cam/Coot: "It doesn't mean anything to us.  I'm not interested in breaking records."

Except perhaps for the career record $20 million that she got for this movie. 

Lu/Poot: "If the film were to earn just one dollar it wouldn't matter to us. I didn't make this film for the money."

What do you expect the poorest multi-millionaire in the cast to say?  She would have made it for $5 million instead of $6 million. 

Drew/Loot: "It was a lot of fun working together with my friends.”

I’ll bet!  A $15 million-plus payday for throwing $175 million of Columbia’s money (all-in) into a blender and making it into McGarbage.  With friends who pay like that, friendship has to be a growth business!!! 

To be extra special fair, the three amigas were in a tough spot.  After all, they are selling the movie.  What are they going to do, go Brown Bunny and start abusing Germany’s “2 Sauerbraten Up” guy?  But Drew’s response was only the least obnoxious.  If you take millions of dollars to work on a movie and the film flops, a hint of humility might be in order.  Something like, “Columbia gave us a chance to make this movie the way we wanted… maybe it’s just not the time for it… but we love the movie and we love each other” and it’s back to love fest.  If they didn’t make it for the money, they could have taken mostly backend and the movie would have been profitable and everyone would have shared the risk and rewards.  Oh well. 

The full wire story is here .

JUST WONDERING:  Remember when The Avengers made $23 million in 1998?  That was 5 long years ago.  You couldn’t actually have a major effects movie with a former Bond and a cast no one would pay to see doing that kind of business in this day and age, could you? 

ONE TO GROW ON:  A Goldman Sachs study says that studios spent $3.36 billion in advertising for movies last year.  The number was up from the previous year and seems to be going up again this year.  $2.2 billion of that was spent on TV spots.  No billion was spent advertising on The Hot Button.  (ha ha)  The odd thing is that according to figures on advertising averages in the MPAA’s annual report, that figure would be at least a billion dollars short.  Either way, it is a big number that shows no sign of slowing down. 

CASTING CINDERELLA:  I believe that I was unkind to Renee Zellweger in this column regarding her casting in the story of Janis Joplin.  Again, my concern is not her skill as an actress, but simply her physical ability to find the sloppy passionate feel of Joplin.  So, it is with great pleasure that I flip the position after reading about her casting in Cinderella Man, as the wife of a 1930’s era boxer played by Russell Crowe.  Now, that sounds like a perfect role for Zellweger.  You can just see her rising to Crowe’s rage and holding her ground, despite her diminutive size.  Good choice.

LIPP SERVICE:  I couldn’t resist the pun, but that is not what this is.  I forgot to publicly congratulate both John Lippman and the Wall Street Journal on John’s assignment to the weekly film column slot formerly filled by the late Tom King.  It’s one of the few “straight” jobs I covet, but if I had to make the call, Lippman is the one I would have chosen.  I expect him to flex a bit of style, but what makes his work in the Journal so compelling normally is that he approaches the work as a journalist first and as a pundit second (or not at all).  The WSJ is one of the few “legit” media outlets that is in no clear way (read: ad dollars) beholden to the movie business that they cover.  The result is that they can tell it like it really is.  And I suspect that Mr. Lippman will use his new pulpit to do just that.  Congrats.

READER OF THE DAY:  BUFFALO BRI writes:  “Now, that those two Iranian twins died in surgery, will the filmmakers of that Damon-Kinnear conjoined twin movie (Stuck On You) do the right thing and never release it?

Time for the studios to have a little respect for life.”

And this from FIBS: “even living in the valley without air conditioning, i am not going to shell out $7-$8 for a movie i don't want to see just to get out of the heat.  besides, now that i have digital cable and 15 movie channels and a well placed fan in my living room, i love to channel surf.  i usually find a movie a day that i haven't seen or want to see again. 

it just sucks when u happen to catch godfather part 2 at 1:35a.m. and you feel compelled to watch it yet again until 3:30!!!”

And this from ANGRY RICK:  “I don't have HBO, but I rented "Stolen Summer" one night at Blockbuster because my friend and I wanted to see what it was about. Man, that movie sucked. Fast forward 8 months, and I'm working at a video store now, and I get the first two discs of "Project Greenlight." Ugh-- the first disc has "Stolen Summer" on it.

Fine, I figure, I'll watch the commentary track. The guys seemed like morons, and I was getting pretty pissed off, and I had to turn the fucking thing off when director Pete Jones mentions how helpful pre-production would have been. Like, no fucking duh! It made me seriously question if the jackass had ever directed ANYTHING before, like even his own shorts. And I don't mean a 5 minute, do it in one day with your friends shorts, I mean a 15-45 minute, have casting calls and hold rehearsals and do pre-production and have a 5-10 day production schedule shorts.

What it seemed like to me was that this complete idiot had gotten $1 million (or did they double that budget because it was a period piece?) from Miramax to film his feature directorial debut, when he was a writer turned director, who on top of everything else had written a piece of shit script that probably only won because of its dealing with anti-Semitism and acceptance of other religions. (And for the record, no, I didn't submit any of my material to Greenlight because I know I'm talented enough to make it on my own without this little handout.)

Suffice it to say, I have no interest in watching the next Project Greenlight, or the movie produced by the directors, because I have no respect for a contest that awards first-timers who are far less talented than they think by giving them 7 figures to make their films. I'm doing a short film right now, 46 pages, and I'm trying to raise $49,000. Do you think I have Harvey Weinstein's help? Am I asking for it? Besides, my film wouldn't be as commercial as what the inevitable final product from season 2 is going to be (although based on the box office returns of "Stolen Summer," maybe commercial isn't the word to describe the Project Greenlight films).”

E ME:  Still looking for more cranky people!

The Matrix Reloaded. Reloaded.
Read Part One
Read Part Two