August 7, 2003

It was just over 20 years ago when Arnold Schwarzenegger started his remarkable career run in the movies. But life since Junior (1994), has not been so sweet at the movies for the big man. Junior, Eraser, Jingle All The Way, Batman & Robin, End of Days, The 6th Day, and Collateral Damage. Oy. Time for a new challenge.

While anti-Republicans (not all liberals or Democrats qualify) will be making fun of Ahnuld for announcing on The Tonight Show, they will conveniently forget the role that the Arsenio Hall Show played in the election of Bill Clinton. That said, a few choicely worded bits of political dogma does not a great governor make.

It is likely that Arnold will become the next Governor of California on the power of kitsch alone. The guy throws around movie quotes like, well, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“I'm not into politics. I'm into survival.”
Ben Richards, Running Man

Of course, all the quotes from the Terminator movies, now emblazoned in our minds.

“In socialist countries, insurance not necessary. State pays for everything.”
Ivan Danko, Red Heat

But there are a few quotes that he might be less happy to see or hear.

“If you yield only to a conqueror, then prepared to be conquered.”
Kalidor, Red Sonja

He may have a better opportunity with flamboyantly gay Californians than you might expect.

“I eat green berets for breakfast. And right now I'm very hungry.”
Matrix, Commando

Maybe not. But when talks about enforcing change, it is hard to argue with him.

“I live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I'm going to ram it into your stomach and break your god-damn spine!”
Ben Richards, Running Man

It’s going to be an interesting few months.

THE PASSION, FOR CLARITY’S SAKE: The battle over Mel Gibson’s new movie continues, though Gibson has started widening the range of people who are seeing the movie. One has to wonder why he has put his future in the hands of a relatively inexperienced publicity professional, Paul Lauer, when every move he makes right now is significant.

The likelihood is that the film will end up being self-distributed with a big hand from billionaire exhibitor and notorious conservative Phil Anchutz. The Big A has shown his interest in religious films and filmmaking in the past and, by opening his theaters to Gibson, he will get him half way to a significantly wide release for The Passion. (Read more on Anchutz’s religious interests here and on his other production interests here.

But in the meantime, one new tidbit. First, while I don’t care about the intent as regards “blaming the Jews,” I am interested in the details. I found out yesterday that in The Passion, the Jewish high priests do, in fact, come to Pilate and ask for Jesus to be crucified. Pilate shows mercy and orders him whipped. Jesus is whipped to within an inch of his life. Then the Jewish high priests push Pilate again, demanding the death of Jesus by crucifixion, a demand to which he finally gives in to the demands.

Again, I don’t really care. This is how Gibson truly believes it happened and it was a long, long time ago. Who knows? Maybe I am one of those modernists who gets beat to death by a mob after a screening one day for having a big nose. Regardless, I believe in Gibson’s right to make the movie he wants to make. But it is nice to have a specific answer to that specific question that so many have danced around until now.

CAN’T ESCAPE THE GIGLI: The wrath of the press on Gigli has gone a little overboard. There are all kinds of made up facts and stats that just don’t fly. And I am not a fan of convenient memory loss. For instance, Pluto Nash is a much bigger loser than Gigli. It cost more, it sat in the can a lot longer, it will take in less and Gigli will do better in home entertainment. That doesn’t mean, as one “reporter” wrote, that the film will be in profit. It will not. It won’t have enough rental income in America to cover its “P,” much less its “A.”

And as much as Kevin Smith should be wetting himself over all of this and could never admit it publicly that he was, both Affleck and Lopez are scheduled to turn up in theaters separately before Jersey Girls hits theaters in “First Quarter 2004.” Affleck will be seen in the John Woo action flick, Paycheck and Lopez will appear with Robert Redford in An Unfinished Life, which may become Miramax’s secret weapon in this year’s Oscar wars… or may be moved into 2004.

My point is, I don’t mind beating on Gigli like the next guy. But let’s not start being stupid and making crap up because we have to top all the other Gigli abusers who are on the story.

READER OF THE DAY: JUST A YOUNG COW HAND writes: “In regards to "In A Huff's" message about The Passion having "enormous buzz" -- here's more anecdotal evidence. Conversation overheard at a DC-area McArches. The Scene: Two gawky, pimply, vaguely punky and spastic teenage guys are talking to two gawky, pimply, vaguely punky and spastic teenage girls. They sit at separate tables and have to shout a little, or maybe just do for effect. Either way, you get the impression that they want to be sitting together but aren't quite ready.

Backwards Hat Guy: Have you seen that--that--Mel Gibson mov--crucifying Jesus movie?

Blond Girl With Braces (clarifying it's a based-on-trailers conversation): I want to see Once Upon a Time in Mexico. It's got Johnny Depp and Salma Hayek.”

ANNE ROMANO’S SUPER wrote: “ I just saw BAD BOYS II this weekend, and after witnessing the body count build up practically by the minute in that flick, I have to say that I think it's a little ridiculous for some people to call The Passion too violent/gruesome for mainstream American cinema. considering that a grand total of one person dies in mel's epic (well, three, if he includes the two thieves crucified next to Jesus), the uproar--at least, this particular aspect of the uproar--must be over the graphic nature of the death rather than the fact that someone dies. I mention this only because it brings us to an important point that I certainly won't be the first person to mention: namely, that thanks to a fair amount of people, what's generally labeled as 'the American sense of the acceptable/unacceptable' when it comes to violence is pretty out of whack with both the rest of the world and what seems logical. apparently, it's fine to shoot about a hundred guys in the head and even to blow up one of their corpses with a land mine so long as they're never represented as anything other than brainless or sociopathic bad guys (I say this only because I haven't heard about any major flags being raised about BAD BOYS II's trigger finger). but if you drag out the death of one fleshed-out, somewhat round character and present it with an eye to physical/bodily reality, get ready for a backlash. it seems to strike a nerve with moviegoers when they can identify with someone being hurt and killed, which should be the point. the problem is that instead of, "This shows us how horrible real world violence is," the reaction appears to be, "We shouldn't be confronted with the reality of violence, only the safe cartoon version." obviously, every time someone in the world is hurt and killed, it's a real person with real connections and a real life rather than some cardboard cut out holding a gun, and I don't think that it's defensible to cry foul when onscreen violence makes someone feel a gut reaction or sense of horror.

and for the record, I'm not necessarily against BAD BOYS, I just thought it provided an interesting counterpoint on this issue.”

Finally, RK’s back with a Chainsaw trailer detail: “I'm not sure if you were inferring this or not, but that sound effect (“a sound effect that sounds like a Polaroid”) is from the original TCSM film, specifically the prologue where one of "The Family" digs up a gooey corpse and photographs it. Again, this is what you could be talking about, but I think it was important for you to note in your article that this SFX was indeed from the original film, because believe it or not, there will be people going to see this new version who have not seen the original (a shame).”

E ME: Would you vote for Arnie?

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