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January 15, 2004WellsDance
The festival doesn't really start until tonight, but we thought that we would honor a legend of Sundance insight with this tribute to the festival coverage of Jeffrey Wells.
This nightlight does't work. Not even in the mirror. Wait! Which
is which? There is something X Factor in this light's refusal to
indulge its expected role in society. Maybe if there was a light like
this in Return of the King, Peter Jackson would't be going straight
to hell like George "Fatboy" Lucas.
This remote doesn't work
This is the fucking battery that won't make my TV go on and off and
on and off and on and off. Batteries are evil, not X Factor at all. The
Duracell ad that include Lord of the Fucking Rings proves it.
Why can't people be cool and edgy, like me?
There is snow outside. There's no snow on the streets. What kind of hacks leave snow outside my window when there is no snow on the streets. I asked seme industry bigwigs to offer their opinion of snow, but none of them would return my e-mails. I hate them.
My toilet water goes in the opposite direction of the toilet water at
home. What is with that? Don't they know anything? How can
a Gen X, X Factor, OB/GYN, SOB focus on all these stupid movies
if my toilet is running backwards?
