April 8, 2004

Last weekend, four new movies opened and grossed about $61 million between them. This weekend, five more movies will open… and they will have to fight to come up with $50 million between them.

Of course, Jesus and The Devil (in the person of Hellboy) will be blocking the way for the new titles. In particular, the first-weekend audience for The Alamo is very much the same audience for The Passion of The Christ, a large percentage of which is expected to visit or revisit the crucifixion drama on the day on which the deed is remembered.

But one also has to wonder whether the R-rated sex comedy The Girl Next Door will be able to get its full groove on during a rather austere holiday weekend. And Ella Enchanted, which is clearly targeting the kids who have read the book, may suffer from Sunday sluggishness as a percentage of America is focused on church and not movies this Sunday… and remember, Sunday is critical to youth films, as Friday’s tend to be a bit muted.

The two absolute wild cards are Johnson Family Vacation and The Whole Ten Yards, which could both be under-$5 million disasters or could catch on within their niches and deliver better than expected. (Expectations are currently in the $7.5 million - $10 million range for both.)

The pace falls to two big movies a weekend (and the occasional Connie et Carla) next week with the Kill Bill, Volume 2 – which seems to want all its reviews (except mine) to come out weeks early – and The Punisher. Man on Fire and 13 Going On 30 follow. And then, Van Helsing kicks of the summer in earnest. That’s when the bloodletting really begins.

I had intended to write about the very sad nuclear meltdown that is The Alamo today. But I will wait for tomorrow out of some sense of fairness. (We’ve had up a positive review at MCN for days. And when Klady gets out of shock therapy…) There’s not too terribly much to say about the film, I suppose. But I will wait.

And now, I will say au revoir, comfortable that I have spared you a few
extra unexpected moments of your day. Perhaps you will use it to take a look at the new Harry Potter trailer or to consider the genius Tarantino has shown in the use of the word “cunt” in his new movie (still somehow his fourth film, even if moron sycophants like Roger Friedman treat Volume 2 as though Tarantino made a sequel, rather than simply stretching his one $80 million film into two DVD packages). I laughed out loud when reading Page Six’s report that Tarantino wanted to pitch a low-budget Bond. There has never been a Bond as overbudget and overschedule as Kill Bill and there is no indication that Tarantino has any idea how to make a low-budget picture anymore, seven years since his last such effort.

Anyway…

READER OF THE DAY: BANG writes: “You’re bashing and tanking Sahara from just a trailer? Granted, Penelope Cruz has never, ever been in a good movie but still.”

DAVID RESPONDS: Uh… yes.

And SUPER BOY writes: “A Karyn Kusama Film. Or should that film title read Karyn Kusama's Aeon Flux.

As you said, odd choice for director but don't you think Ms. Charlize Theron had a say in the matter? It might indicate just a smidgen of the new found power and clout she has earned.

Monster has made an amazing $34.1m. Either there is an untapped market out there for the white-trash, serial killing lesbian genre or it has all been earned on her name and her performance alone. I saw the film as it opened here in Dublin City, Ireland last weekend. It played on the biggest screen in a 17 theatre complex. The early evening show was all but sold out. Given that everyone knew what the movie was about and that we were in for a rough time, I would hazard that she was the sole reason why we were all there.

By comparison a couple of years ago, Hilary Swank won an Oscar for Boys Don't Cry. That grossed just over $11m by comparison (still a startling number when you consider the subject matter). Like Karyn Kusama, Boys Don't Cry director, Ms. Kimberly Pierce has curiously not been able to announce a single project since then ... until Charlize Theron came along. Hilary Swank's CV since the Oscar, though interesting has on it only two big profile studio pictures: Insomnia (Al Pacino, Robin Williams) and Million Dollar Baby in 2005 (with Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman). The less said about The Core, the better for everyone involved.

E ME: Actually, I have been of the opinion that Theron has been a “near opener” for a long time and still get funny looks every time I mention the triumph of Mighty Joe Young. Good theory. And still a poor choice…. especially for a shaky studio.