May 3 , 2004

The city has changed…

But what's new? New York has always been a place of constant reinvention. But what is disturbing is that it keeps getting bigger and bigger, now aggressively moving towards status as the Las Vegas of the east, in so many ways more a theme park than a city.

In a strange way, it seems as though the downtown area that became a must-visit tourist stop, however solemn, is happily (to the merchants, I assume) becoming a hipness E-ticket. Rebuilding has been replaced with retooling and FUCK has been replaced by FCUK. Believe me, there is a difference.

Apparently, even Brooklyn, which has been the hip room in recent years, is becoming an unflattering reflection of Borough #1. I didn't witness this myself, but it was a headline on an alt-weekly cover and a friend who lives there is planning her next great escape.

For my part, I have been staying at Ian Schrager's Hudson Hotel, which is much like a terribly hip cruise ship. Little did I know when I booked my room that the ship would be this leaky. One of the charms I tried to taker advantage of is the 15th floor terrace that overlooks the Hudson River. On a magnificent NY day, an hour or so before sunset, the opportunity to live like Peter Jennings called… and the door was locked. Why? Apparently, it rained at some point this morning and they don't open the Skyview Terrace when it's raining. The 7 hours I spent outside this afternoon without the hint of a raindrop? Sorry. Hi-speed Internet Access at $10 a day? Didn't work, but I.T. will call me… apparently the call will come in Los Angeles. The keys demagnetize in 5 minutes. The bathroom is built for tiny people. The TV remote tends to go into convulsions if you push the wrong button. But otherwise, I love the place! And only $300 a night!!!

My travels included a few trips downtown (I'm writing you now from a Village patisserie, The Bruno Bakery. The food is great, but the help can't understand the names of the pasteries. (They're not Italian.)

One unique experience, which I suppose I should have seen coming, was the endless parade of DVD vendors on Canal Street. Apparently, what happens on Canal stays on Canal. No less than 20 people, some in leaden carts and others working out of a quickly closed piece of luggage, were selling almost every current DVD imaginable. At a price of 5 for $20 (and I'm sure I could have pushed it to 6 or 7 for that price), I bought this weekend's openers Envy and Godsend. Mean Girls, Laws of Attraction and Bobby Jones: A Stroke Of Genius were not "out" yet, but it was only Saturday, so by Sunday, they may well have premiered.

Both of the brand new films, and all but one of the others, including Man on Fire, 13 Going on 30, The Punisher and the many jacketed versions of Kill Bill, Vol. 2 (One tagging it, "Quentin Tarantino's 5th Film), were taped off a movie theater screen. Quality in that regard varied, though only one, which I watched (and enjoyed) to the end, Dawn of the Dead, featured an active audience, screaming, laughing and telling jokes throughout the film.

Some smart Home Entertainment exec would be well served by noting this… it would be a wonderful DVD extra. The filmmaker might hate it, though you can only imagine that someone like QT would love it. But without turning it into Mystery Science Theater 3000, a track like that, especially for a horror film, would be fun to have available. It is, indeed, a way to bring that theatrical experience home. I enjoyed watching the film on my computer screen that much more with my "friends" with me. And given the crappy quality, it caused me to rewind and review segments quite a few times.

The only title that was not shot off of a screen was also the only title that was on the streets pre-release and that was MGM's Soul Plane. (You probably never knew how much pirates loved Tom Arnold!) The quality was not great, but the DVD I got was clearly struck from a print or a high res tape, probably four or five generations before it got to me.

I continued my travels into Chinatown, where I sought out Asian titles that I haven't found in Los Angeles. And while there may be a market for them somewhere in L.A. that I haven't found, the availability here in New York is nothing short of remarkable. I didn't find many American films that had not been released here or that had significantly different international versions. But the selection of Asian product, on both VCD and DVD took hours to go through and I could have kept going for hours more. The Shaw Bros. section alone seemed to have more than 100 titles.

The first store - TMC Music and Gifts - was the best. But there were half a dozen more within a block ore two. And rarely was there anything with a price of more than $12. Want your own copy of Zatoichi or Shaolin Soccer or Hero before Miramax finally releases it? Depending on packaging and the VCD/DVD difference, you could have each of them for anywhere between $5 and $20.

Meanwhile, in Tribeca, there was a terrific dog and pony show - or is that carp and guppy show? - being offered as part of the Tribeca Film Festival by DreamWorks and their October release, Shark Tale. The opening gambit, a "please turn off your cell phones and no photographs allowed" announcement turned into a big audience thrill as the curtain opened to expose Will Smith as our humble announcer. After Big Willie took a seat, a young girl sitting near me snuck over to get his autograph, did, and then offered, "That made… my life!"

Also in attendance was Big Bobby, aka Robert DeNiro, Big Jeffy, aka Jeffrey Katenzberg, and Chris-taff-fuh, aka Michael Imperioli. The difference between Smith and DeNiro could not have been more clearly defined by their actions. DeNiro stood and waved when called out by the film's director. But he never took the stage. Instead, he sat dutifully with his kids, applauded in all the right places, and was a beacon of restraint. Smith, on the other hand, showed why he is a much bigger movie star than DeNiro, if not as fine an actor, but whooping it up, from the stage, from his seat, from the rafters. I don't know that I have seen a guy who works the room as well since Schwarzenegger. And we'll see how that works, as Smith fronts I, Robot in July, a project that was once whispered about in connection with The Governator's name many moons ago. (Thinking of another old Ahnuld project, how about this tag line? "You loved it when they killed one Jew… just wait until you see The Crusades!!!" Ridley's Scott's next film may kill that project off forever… sigh.)

Shark Tale's director took the audience, made up mostly of young kids and parents who might have expected a bit more of a kid-occupying just-run-the-movie experience, through the whole process of making a computer animated film. Having seen a similar demonstration at DreamWorks as well as other behind-the-scenes festival events from The Muppets and others, another promotional idea hit me. Promotional television shows are great and all, but like the immediacy of seeing actual footage from the opening of a film (how the hell did Universal get the first 8 minutes of Dawn of the Dead on TV without massive editing or FCC fines?), it takes more to really turn heads. Perhaps it is time for DreamWorks or Disney or someone like that to do a live presentation of one of these tours through the back rooms of the studio. Watching footage of DeNiro at the mike… been there, slept through that. But to watch a live show where you get to watch DeNiro or Smith or Zellweger or whomever going through the recording process… even if it is after the fact… that is compelling. The real-life personalities of DeNiro and Smith, live… really interesting. Just a thought.

Anyway, there were three nice completed clips that we didn't see on the DreamWorks Animation tour of last fall. The first thing that hits you is the color scheme, which is now a little more familiar because of Finding Nemo. But this palette is more fantastical, as are the anthropomorphic stylings of the fish. Nemo was more "fish and other sea creatures who talk." This is "film noir meets blaxploitation meets the family comedy, but the characters happen to look a lot like fish."

I don't know that there is another film that I can really compare it to on the run. The elements are familiar, but the overall result seems to be quite singular. I am thinking, in particular, of a racetrack sequence, that just can't be surprising, since you know that seahorses will be racing and all you can really wonder about is whether there will be jockeys. Yet, it manages to play in a fresh way that you really don't expect. So I am looking forward to a truly unique movie experience when the film comes out this fall.

As for the Tribeca festival itself…

I really don't know what they think they are doing. But if there is one "must not do" for me with all film festivals is "the big blur." And Tribeca is perhaps the biggest example of that blur.

I will give them this… they found a lot of product that hasn't been seen much before. But what is the point? Is it a festival that focuses on New York or a foreign language fest or a launching pad for mediocre but available studio product?

There is nothing obviously wrong with the twelve documentaries that are in competition from directors who have made more than two films. But it is odd that there is not a single American documentary in the mix? Four of the eleven docs in the first or second time directors group are listed as American made, but only one is set in America and it is a 2003 film, which suggests that it failed to make the cut at Sundance, where it was surely submitted.

The feature competition contains only one American made film from the field of fourteen. And of course, it is the only film getting a lot of attention. And again, its 2003 pedigree suggests that this is the happy court of last resort, post Sundance.

On the other hand, there is some great stuff here. The two big premieres other than Raising Helen are about NY firemen and theater. Good. There are free outdoor screenings, a concert and art exhibits. Grand. A new film from Lisa Cholodenko, Pennebaker & Hegedus' concert doc on Elaine Stritch, a Ted Demme tribute doc, festival circuit faves from Mario Van Peebles, Hector Babenco and Jim Jarmusch, and even a film from New Yorker Ed Burns and actor David Duchovney are to be commended. Terrific.

But then there are 25 "New York, New York" films from unknown filmmakers, which is too many to sort out and way to many for a majority not to stink. There are 36 "Showcase" films from around the world, two of which are long on the fest circuit and four of which are from name directors, which leaves festivalgoers to sort out 30 films, many of which are sure to be lower tier, as they are choosing to launch here. 8 Midnight movies… who knows?

Back on the positive side, there are eight restoration showings and nine movies in the Tribeca Family film Festival, including premieres of Warner Bros.' New York Minute and Paramount's Thunderbirds, plus the underappreciated Sundance film, Chris Eyres' Edge of America.

Still, the ultimate questions are, does America need another festival market and what benefit does showing 100 films in nine days (two of which have short schedules), particularly when 70% of the product are blind bets? Me? I would prefer that the festival team pick 20 - 30 films that are new/unknown to this market instead of 70, legitimately saying "We believe in these films." The community building efforts are really quite excellent. A taste for international product, family films and New York themes and production is to be embraced. But the absolute maximum number of films that someone can see at this fest is 37… realistic max is about 25. And that wouldn't allow that person to attend special events or outdoor screenings or panels or any of the other goodies they've got set up.

Toronto does have more films. But that festival is, essentially, four festivals in one. And it took them 20 years to get it to the size it is at now. There is a reason for that.

If you are not a New Yorker, why do you need to come to Tribeca? Right now, there is no real reason. As a journalist, there's not much worth covering here. In fact, there were three junkets here this weekend and I doubt that any more than one or two people got to the fest for even one film. You could come for foreign films, but it doesn't feel like a great or important slice of that product. Family and midnight are for locals. And the competition is, simply put, scary. I can tell you from experience. If you see 10 films and only 2 or 3 are good, or close to good, you are suffering. With due respect to the filmmakers here… I don't like the percentages. And I don't feel as though the festival team is helping my through the maze.

I'm not going to rag on the festival for ongoing problems with late starts and ticketing mistakes. You know… it happens. But what is Tribeca wanting to be? Selling one film to Lions Gate - which might happen - is not going to turn this thing into Sundance.

READER OF THE DAY: "As I watched the opening minutes of Mean Girls. I wondered, why exactly would I have to see Tina Fey's tits early in the film. Why? There is no reason, outside of you wanting this movie to reflect an era it does not live in.

If it were the 80s, sure we might have seen her breast, and if it were the 90s we possibly would have seen her breast. However think of this realistically for a second. Why would Fey's character, go to school not wearing a bra? She has issues, as we later determined, and a woman like that would never go around flaunting herself. Yet, you want to see her breast, because your mind is stuck in some 80s comedy mind set, which does not work anymore.

Wanting to see breast, in the 21st century, on film, when they are not needed. I love breasts, and Fey might have a lovely pair. But in the context of this film, they do not work. Much the same way the bitterness of Heathers and Election, do not work in the 21st century.

Things have changed in this world, and Mean Girls easily fits as the 21st century film among the pantheon of Heathers and Election. Teenagers are no longer what they were, and wanting them to be meaner than they are in this film boarders on ridiculous.

You have a mindset for comedy Dave, that the Farrellys did not kill, but time did. If you are going to keep giving great dramedies such as Mean Girls, which represent their time very well, crap because they do not give you TITS. Then comedy truly is an art, few understand."

E ME: Well, as I wrote in the review, the breasts are not really about the breasts. And if a joke goes for it all the way, it succeeds in a much different way than if it is halfing its way along. Time has not killed hardcore comedy at all. The next really good one will be huge, just like the last one. Just because Tim Green is lame and Freddy Got Fingered thought it was hardcore while it was just infantile does not mean that comedy that goes for it is dead. There are only two films this summer that are potentially going to push that envelope - Anchorman and Harold & Kumar Go To The White Castle. I assume that Anchorman will be PG-13, but if there is as much of a commitment to the comedy as there was in Elf, it could be a major hit. And while there is no one you know in Harold & Kumar (except for the brilliant Neil Patrick Harris) and while it is completely open about smoking marijuana and while there is very little overt sex… it could end up being a huge surprise hit for New Line. Why? Because it goes for it. Will you go for it?

P.S. Friday's late column is here.