June 30, 2004

It's Spider-Day 2…

As Fahrenheit 9/11 expands to 1200 screens on Wednesday and 1700 over the weekend, it will be interesting to see whether, as is the norm for entertainment media coverage, the film disappears into the middle pages of the arts sections as Spider-Man spin a web of cash over its 5-day holiday opening, sure to pass F9/11 in total domestic box office by sometime Thursday.

I'm not advocating the swallowing of F9/11 or any of the other indie titles out there by Spider-Man or the following weekend's opening of King Arthur, which I am now hearing is more than a little watchable. (I'll be seeing it for myself tonight.)

Things have worked just about perfectly for Spider-Man 2, as the box office pace has slowed significantly in the last few weeks, leaving the market ready for a surge. Last weekend was more than $40 million off of the pace of the summer's top weekend. That leaves around $90 million available to Spider-Man 2 over the 3-day weekend before it has to expand the marketplace any wider than the massive $192 million Memorial Day 3-day.

July 4th weekend records come relatively cheap. $53 million for the 3-day would be a new record. The best Wednesday ever was for Lord of the Rings: Return of the King with $34.5 million. The best single opening day ever was for the first Spider-Man, which took in $39.4 million. The single best day ever was Shrek 2's $44.8 million.

And of course, the best 3-day opening is still Spider-Man's $114.8 million. The best 5-day is Matrix Reloaded's $144.4 million, which includes $5 million from late night "sneak" shows, which Spidey 2 is also doing.

$45 million for Wed/Thurs would not be shocking and as I wrote before, $90 million for the three day is quite possible. So a $135 million for the five-day, while still not a record (except for the July 4 weekend and all July openings… Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban holds the June 3-day record with $93.7 million), is still pretty damned applause-worthy.

Even with a massive opening, $400 million domestic will be a long, hard climb. It will depend a lot on King Arthur and I, Robot. Spidey has three weeks to gather $350 million or so before The Village arrives and explodes the last huge summer shell. (Don't be shocked if Alien v Predator becomes a much bigger than expected hit in August.) It's all about Night & Knightley now.

I SAW WHITE CHICKS on Tuesday night. It was my 13-year-old niece's idea.

There is no point in reviewing the movie. There is no point in the movie. But what did occur to me is that the Wayans Bros. could be the Three Stooges or even the Marx Bros. of this generation. They are not as funny as the Stooges or as sophisticated and well defined as the Marxes, but that may not be their fault.

There are two legitimate performing stars in the Wayans family, Damon and Marlon. Damon has shown his mettle in a number of films, proving that he has the ability to build and sustain a character, even though he has never had the great role. Marlon knocked me off my feet with his performance in Requiem For A Dream, which I consider as good or better than anyone else's in that film.

Shawn Wayans, who co-stars with Marlon in White Chicks, is kind of the Allan Jones of the group… good looking and not very interesting. Keenan Ivory Wayans is the eldest son and leader, most often directing his sibs.

But what got me thinking was that these are funny people, even when their movies miss the mark. What if they had the opportunity, as The Marx Brothers, the Stooges and so many others had to sharpen ideas and perfect what would go in front of the camera by taking it on stage in front of a live audience?

Kennan is not a genius filmmaker. He's not a camera guy. But with due respect, neither was Sam Wood or William Seiter, who directed Marx Bros. films. (Leo McCarey did turn out to be quite a skilled craftsman, to say the least.) What they had going for them was wonderfully well rehearsed and perfected material, including the visual of it, which was choreographed over time in from of a live audience.

The Wayans' make simple, kind of old-fashioned films and they make a lot of them. Given their history with live television, getting their ideas up on a stage and breathing would seem like a natural. And a movie like White Chicks, the idea for which is going into litigation, had some good, really funny ideas. They just needed to be worked out a little bit better. And with comedy, sitting in a room - even with your family - can never replace audience response.

I'd love to see a weekly Wayans clinic here in L.A. where the guys and gals could put stuff up on its feet and see how it played. HBO used to have a performance space for just that, back in the day when every stand-up was getting a series or a special. It's where Mr. Show started. Sometimes making a movie should just be a little more complicated.

READER OF THE DAY: J TO THE GEEK writes: "To quote you, regarding Superman II":"But it was a smashing success and is considered by many to be the best comic book sequel ever and the best of all the Superman films."

NOOOOOOO!!!! I don't know who considers "Superman II" to be the best comic book sequel ever, but I can guaran-damn-tee you that very few comic book geeks feel that way. For one thing, most of us are amused by "Superman II," but would prefer to see a Richard Donner cut. The second film was entertaining, and we love the action sequences, but ultimately, it's silly and juvenile (though not nearly as bad as parts 3 and 4, obviously).

Just about every comic book geeks consider "X2: X-Men United" to be the best comic book sequel ever. As for best comic book movie ever, sequel or otherwise, that would be tough, but it would include the "X-Men" sequel. In fact, that's what was voted number one in a recent poll in Wizard magazine (for the uninitiated, it's a monthly magazine about comic books that includes a price guide that's considered the industry standard for modern age comics). Then again, comic book geeks and film critics are (usually, but not always) very different people.

I haven't seen "Spider-Man 2" yet, but that might be the new titleholder, if the early reviews are any indication.

For the record, even though it's not based on an actual comic book, M. Night Shyamalan's "Unbreakable" is considered to be the "Citizen Kane" of comic book movies. It really is a perfect "year one" comic book movie. Although, hopes are high that "Batman Begins" will be even better (though I'm not so sure, given that the screenplay was written by David S. Goyer).

Ya know, I'd love to watch Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh go at it in a boxing ring. Hopefully, they'd beat each other to a pulp."

E ME: Would you go see Wayans Night Live?