November 17, 2004

I've spent the last two nights sitting on stages with Colin Farrell, Jared Leto and Javier Bardem… it's enough to get a guy to consider plastic surgery…

Hollywood is already burning out on Oscar season and it's only getting worse, as studios see possibilities in movie after movie that they figured were dead not so long ago. But forgotten by some is that there are a dozen major commercial releases the next seven weekends that have limited or no Oscar aspirations. (The only significant exception is Lemony Snicket, which hopes to compete for at least a half dozen nominations, but still needs to be very, very commercial first and foremost.)

So let's take a quick look at the quick buck chasers…

THE BIG ONES

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events - It looks like an instant classic, but we'll only know after we see it. The rare kids film that dares to be smart enough for adults, it seems to be balancing on the wire that sometimes leads to the highest grosses of all. Paramount and DreamWorks would be happy with Bruce Almighty numbers.

National Treasure - The cheapest of the trio, this Bruckheimer action machine may be slowing itself down by appearing to be too smart. Ewww!

Ocean's Twelve - There are a bunch of people ready to tear this one down and not many who are prepared to build it up. But the original got some very tough reviews on the way to being one of Warner Bros. biggest hits in years. Lots of good looking people getting together in a number of countries to have lots more silly fun. How bad can it be?

THE KIDS FLICKS

Fat Albert - Hey hey hey! We're sued to seeing this young actor playing Star Jones or some such character on SNL. Is Cosby, who maintained tight control on the film, still hop enough to draw an audience?

Spongebob Squarepants - He's all washed up and ready for action! Paramount is also chasing the college crowd who apparently identify with Patrick after a bong hit or seven. But the kids lead the way and half of The Incredibles would be very credible for this Nick title.

THRILLER

Blade: Trinity - Young hotties Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds join Wesley Snipes (or are they showing him the door?) in this third film which is hoping to close in on the hundred million dollar domestic mark for the first time in the series. To its advantage, not much, if any, resistance in this genre.

The Darkness - Dimension added this Anna Paquin thriller late in the game, two years later than it was completed.

Flight of the Phoenix - This one has been sitting around and is ready to go… away…

FUNNY HA HA

Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason - Funny how weight reshapes the face differently at different ages… hmmm… Word on this sequel is mixed. Universal made the unusual move of releasing the film into 500 theaters before going wide a week later. We'll know how it worked by Saturday morning.

Christmas with The Kranks - Another Surviving Christmas or could it be a National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation? Joe Roth couldn't make it snow in hell, but he did get the Radio City Music Hall to house a movie premiere for the first time in over a decade. Is it dumb good or dumb bad?

In Good Company - The first film from a Weitz Brother (not The Weitz Bros.). Will it be Down to Earth or About A Boy… or something else altogether? Neither Topher Grace or Dennis Quaid mean much at the box office. But a good movie is a good movie. (Also, aspiring to an Oscar nod for screenplay.)

Meet The Fockers - The 800 pound comedy gorilla in the room… just how funny will Babs and Dusty be? Hopefully, they will be half as funny as they are in people's imaginations and that would be very funny indeed.

My box office guesses? If you force me…

1. Meet The Fockers
2. Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate events
3. Ocean's Twelve
4. National Treasure
5. Blade: Trinity
6. Spongebob Squarepants
7. Fat Albert
8. Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
9. Christmas with The Kranks
10. In Good Company
11. The Darkness
12. Flight of the Phoenix

READER OF THE DAY: FIBS floats: "The fun thing about Oliver Stone, particularly since JFK, is that he's so over the top that it is hard to take him seriously. The best example of this has to be The Doors a vulgar, glorious mishmosh that was para-operatic in scope and style.

Alas, I can't really find Alexander to be typical Oliver Stone. There's a lot of big good stuff in there, but very little to distinguish it as an Oliver Stone movie, save for maybe the symbolism of the snake and the last big battle scene in India with the elephants. Vangelis' score is memorable. With such little original scoring being used these days, that when you hear one like this, it can't help but stand out. For my money, it's the best one since John Williams' work on Minority Report.

Stone's use of Angelinca Jolie was deicious and gave it a wonderfully delicious performance as Olympia. The chemistry bewteen Farrell and Leto was strong as well, though it seems that despite what they say, I never really got the full extent of it."

E-ME: Which commercial films are you most looking forward to?