Week
Of August 14, 2006 -
No Column Mon / Wed
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August
18, 2006
Snakes.
Snakes on a plane.
Snakes on a muthafuckin'
plane.
Muthafuckin' snakes
on a muthafuckin' plane.
It's really just
that simple.
If you want to understand
the complexity of the film, try snakes on pretty much every bodily part
you can imagine that doesn't excrete solid waste.
Truth is, the movie
does find a clever way to turn the third act into a third act and not
just more of the same. It's not so great that I feel compelled to discuss
it conceptually, but it is clever enough.
That might be the
defining notion of this film. It's good enough. It's funny enough. It's
thrilling enough. It's enjoyable enough.
The funny thing
about all the internet stuff is that it really lessens the value of
the film, it doesn't increase it. If this was just some movie that people
found, not expecting a $20 million-plus opening weekend, it would be
even more fun and, I think, more financially successful.
It's one of the
bad parts of the internet culture…and the Traditional Media that follows
it around like drooling puppies all too often. Few things aside from
Paris Hilton's vagina seem to be able to survive the white hot
light of obsessive web attention. And all the passion about Snakes -
which, of course, was based on a title, Sam Jackson, and an idea
of an idea - raises the bar of expectation beyond anything reasonable.
Still, it delivers
exactly what it claims to be offering.
It's true. Director
David Ellis couldn't find the dramatic tension in a nun taking
a pregnancy test. For a guy using CG snakes in almost every shot involving
live actors, he is horrible at establishing space. There are classic
killer thriller beats, like a character in a tight area desperate get
to a specific point, with the possibility of snakes jumping out at any
time. It works in spite of the direction, but had SoaP been directed
by a uniquely talented young (or old) visualist, it might have been
a true thriller classic.
For instance, Executive
Decision is a much better movie. Passenger 57… a better movie.
And sharing a similar core, this is basically The Poseidon Adventure
on a plane… with snakes. It's nowhere near as good as that film. But
it is better, amazingly, than Poseidon. Wolfgang Petersen farts
more interesting shots than David Ellis… but this script is much
better than what they went forward with on Poseidon.
The casting was
also interesting. Aside from the obvious home run of hiring Sam Jackson,
it swung from inspired (David Koechner, Todd Louiso, Bobby Canavale)
to uninteresting (Daniel Hogarth) to the embarrassing (Byron
Lawson). Keenan Thompson finally gets some lines worth saying
near the end. Lin Shaye is always a hoot. The stewardesses are
all nice to look at and reasonably effective. I kept waiting for Elsa
Pataky to nurse her baby (I think that's the character the Maxim
cover model played), though the performance was actually quite solid,
aside from being a pretty face.
Of course, the frustration
of Koechner, Louiso, and Cannavale was that they were so little used.
Cannavale was essentially the John Cusack (a la Con Air)
and Louiso was a great character for this film… who essentially got
to do nothing that really made him any more special than Louiso's performance.
And Koechner is the best used of the group, but more for him to do could
have been nothing but good.
Still, for a dumb
movie about snakes loose on a plane, it was good, weird fun. If I walked
into this as though it was Final Destination, I would have been
pleasantly surprised. Instead, I wasn't surprised at all. But it was
nothing if not a pleasant, unchallenging, fun night at the movies. And
sometimes, that is enough.
E
Me.
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