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Week Of July 30, 2007 - Mon / Wed / Fri
July 30, 2007
99 Hollow Points Shot At The Star
99 Gunmen So Far,
If One Of Those Gunmen Should Happen To Fall,
99 Others Will Be In The HallShoot 'Em Up is the grindhouse movie that Harvey Weinstein seemed to think he was going to get when he gave free reign to Tarantino and Rodriguez. As B movie thrill rides go, the screenplay by Michael Davis kicks Grindhouse ass. (Tarantino's script, while terrific in spite of being too long, isn't really a grindhouse film. It is a QT film, offering his chatty, verbose, self-aware clever dialogue combined with what turned out to be a terrifically well-made feminist comedy B-move spoof. And Rodriguez's screenplay had too many ideas and no discipline.)
The movie, in the odd tradition of B movies, makes very little sense, is stuck together with endless Band-Aids of illogic, defies rational analysis ... and is a Die Hard With A Live Free or Transformers in that way, except that I expected different things of those other films. From Live Free or Die Hard, I expected a Die Hard movie ... and was not offered one. With Transformers, there was so much expositional masturbation that my willingness to accept things made no logical sense was disintegrated, since if there was enough time for the wanking, there was enough time for logic.
Now don't get me wrong. As a director, Michael Davis is not in the class of Tarantino, Rodriguez, Bay, or even Wiseman at this point in his directing career (the very start). He had a bigger budget for this film than for any of his direct-to-DVD features that he previously knocked out ... but still nothing in comparison to any of the other directors. Would the extra money have helped? Who knows how much or how little?
However, Davis as screenwriter - with a hand from producers Murphy, Montford, and Benattar and, of course, veteran make-it-work editor Peter Amundson - doesn't let us look at his directing limitations for very long. Usually when people say a movie is wall-to-wall action, they are engaged in hyperbole. Not this time.
Normally, I don't like to set up the story too much, but in this case, reading this in print will probably inform your understanding of just how much a feat it is that this is a watchable, enjoyable experience.
Shoot 'Em Up is the story of an unarmed loner who is waiting for a bus, sees a pregnant woman being chased by an angry man with a very large gun, goes to help her and ends up in a gunfight with a dozen or so assassins. He ends up with the baby, but is thwarted in his attempts to abandon it, so he takes it to a wet hooker (a hooker who specializes in men who want to suck on the breast of a lactating woman) and this make-shift family has to figure out why everyone - dozens if not scores - is trying to kill them. Meanwhile, Paul Giamatti is the big brain behind the men with guns who also gets his hands dirty ... a lot ... aka the intellectual Elmer Fudd to Clive Owens' wascally wabbit.
It's insane ... and this doesn't begin to tell you how insane. This is the kind of movie where characters are always rattling off other people's bullet counts, but can also outrun machine guns, fly through the air, and make vehicles do magic tricks. But again ... not in the irritating way like when a Bond film gets too loosey goosey. It really is a B movie and these are the things that B movies do. This is Alligator and Death Wish and Walking Tall (the original) and Billy Jack and Gone in 60 Seconds (the original). What it isn't quite is Halloween or The Killer or The Hidden or Reservoir Dogs ... it's not quite that kind of B movie perfection. But it's the best we've seen around the multiplex from an American in a long, long time. Snakes on a Plane worked as a movie ... and this is a significant step up from that, even with all its failings.
Then there are the odd elements that somehow seem right, even if they seem wrong. For instance, Monica Bellucci, who will drop her top at the hint of an artistic pretense, doesn't show her boobs here, even with her character being defined specifically by her boobs. They don't even do a fake insert of someone else's lactating boobs. That's a low-budget non-studio play all the way.
Then there is Daniel Pilon as the Senator. First, there is always a Senator in these movies. Second, he is always played by Peter Strauss. But in this case, Strauss is a non-Canadian and to get those tax credits from Ontario, so we got the handsome, bland Mr. Pilon of Montreal. Low-budget!
And where there is a Senator, there is a convoluted reason for him to be in the story. And Shoot 'Em Up is no different. I could tell you what the story about the Senator in the film was ... or I could try. I really don't know whether I have it right and I really don't care.
Shoot 'Em Up is grindhouse dim sum. A bite here and a bite there of unbelievably tasty and surprising and engaging stuff ... you can't spend too much time thinking about what is in the filling or your might vomit ... and you will be hungry for more as soon as the movie credits roll ... but as you roll it on your tongue, gulping and laughing and screaming and spitting, it's a joyous plate of entertainment.
Jujubes, nachos, Red Vines, and Shoot 'Em Up. Now that's good junk!
E Me.
Week Of April 3, 2006 - Life In the Bubble - Mon / Wed / Fri
Week Of April 10, 2006 - List Week - Mon / Wed / Fri
Week Of April 17, 2006 - Review Week - Mon / Wed / Fri
Week Of April 24, 2006 - Overlooked Week - Mon / Wed / Fri
Week Of May 1, 2006 - Mystery Week - Tue / Wed / Fri
Week Of May 8, 2006 - How We Watch Week - Mon / Wed / Fri
Week Of May 15, 2006 - Premature Week - Oscar Mon / Wed / Fri
Week Of May 22, 2006 - B-13 Mon / Inconvenient Wed / Fri
Week Of May 29, 2006 - Wed / Fri
Week Of June 5, 2006 - 666 Tue / Iraq Doc Wed / Seattle Fri
Week Of June 12, 2006 - SIFF Mon / SIFF Wed / Fri
Week Of June 19, 2006 - Cinevegas Mon/Deliver Us Wed/Prada Fri
Week Of June 26, 2006 - Pirates Mon / Super Again Wed / Fri
Week Of July 5, 2006 - Wed
Week Of July 12, 2006 - M. Night Mon | You, Me & Wed | Monster House Fri
Week Of July 17, 2006 - 8 A Year Mon / Water Wed / Revamp Fri
Week Of July 24, 2006 - Comic-Con Mon / Gossip Wed / Fri
Week Of July 31, 2006 - Mel G Mon / Talladega Wed / Fri
Week Of August 7, 2006 - Mon / Wed
Week Of August 14, 2006 - No Column Mon / Wed / Snakes Fri
Week Of August 21, 2006 - Snakey Mon / Anniversary Wed / Scoundrels Fri
Week Of August 28, 2006 - Mon Love / Berloff Wed / Fri
Week Of September 4, 2006 - Thur
Week Of September 11, 2006 - TIFF Mon / Bobby Wed / Fr
Week Of September 18, 2006 - Mon / TIFF 1 Wed / TIFF 2 Fri
Week Of September 25, 2006 - Mon / Wed
Week Of October 2, 2006 - Atonement Mon / Wed / Indie Fri
Week Of October 9, 2006 - Flags Mon / Wed / Fri
Week Of October 16, 2006 - Mon / Epagogix Wed
Week Of October 23, 2006 - TCIFF Mon / Wed / Catch A Fri
Week Of October 30, 2006 - Mon / Wed / Fri
Week Of November 6, 2006 - Mon / Dead Girl Wed / Fri
Week Of November 13, 2006 - Bond Mon / Wed / TomKat Fri
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Week Of December 27, 2006 - Wed / Worst of 2006 Fri
Week Of Janiuary 3, 2007 - Best Of 2006 Wed
Week Of Janiuary 8, 2007 - Mon / COM Book Wed
Week Of January 17, 2007 - Little Red Writing Hood Wed
Week Of January 29, 2007 - Mon
Week Of February 5, 2007 -This Thing We Do Wk - Mon / Wed / Fri
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Week Of February 26, 2007 - Rough Oscars Mon / Zodiac Wed / Doc & Foreign Fri
Week Of March 5, 2007 - Mon / Fri
March 14 / March 21/ March 28
Week Of April 4, 2007 - Wed / Grindhouse Fri
Week Of April 9, 2007 - Indie Distirbution Mon / Star Ranking Wed / Top 20 Fri
Week Of April 16, 2007 - Mon / Piaf Wed
Week Of April 23, 2007 - Mon / Tribeca Wed / Costner Fri
Week Of April 30, 2007 - Spider Mon
Week Of May 7, 2007 - Mon / Wed / Fri
Week Of May 14, 2007 - 10 Thing Studios Don't Want Wed / Fri
Week Of May 21, 2007 - Mon / Pirates Fri
Week Of May 28, 2007 - Knocked Up Friday
Week Of June 4, 2007 - Hostel 2 Mon / Ocean's Wed / Seattle Fri
Week Of June 11, 2007 - Sopranos Mon
Week Of June 18, 2007 - Mon / Sicko Wed
Week Of July 2, 2007 - Xanadu Fri
Week Of July 9, 2007 - Mon / Hairspray Fri
Week Of July 23, 2007 - Bourne Mon / Superbad Wed
