Hope everyone had a happy Halloween. I failed to win my apartment building's annual pumpkin-carving contest and must admit that I am devastated. Thank goodness you guys sent in great e-mails to make my life worth living again. Joe from Chicago starts us off with something really scary...

"You know what I think is scary? I think that one-eyed, screaming Civilian Voices logo thing is scary. I'm having nightmares that that thing is under my bed and trying to get me."

--Joe Greenia

You're not just paranoid Joe, the one-eyed CV is watching you. One of our other readers is terribly terrified of Halloween. Token doesn't share the same fear...

"I just read that someone wrote that the scariest movie of all time is Halloween. Is it just me, or is that movie completely overrated? It is awful. No scares, no acting, nothing. Just a typical 1970s horror movie, and it is garbage."

--Token

Would you agree with Token? Is Halloween overrated, or is it one of the scariest flicks of all time? Send me your thoughts for the next Civilian Voices.

Seems like Roger Ebert just can't catch a break here at Civilian Voices. Chris, a Chicago native, sides with the Ebert bashers in his e-mail...

"I agree that Mr. Ebert has gone off his rocker in recent years, just as Siskel strayed off into oblivion (in terms of his reviews, that is) in his final year. Ebert has been falling for the pretty movies -- Strange Days, Dark City, The Cell, Spawn -- despite a traditional dislike for them in the past (i.e., his two-star review of Brazil).

"He has turned into an empty critic who likes films based solely on certain, superficial aspects. For example, a thumbs-up for The Nutty Professor 2 because of Eddie Murphy's performance, despite the shabbiness of the script and direction. He didn't like Erin Brockovich because of Julia Roberts's wardrobe, and Gladiator didn't work for him because the effects looked too cheap. In the reviews of both of these movies, he barely touches on components like the scripts or performances. He finds something to like or dislike and singles it out.

"His reviews have become extraordinarily vacuous and meaningless. (Look no further than his reviews of Barenaked in America or Almost Famous for proof.) Also, all too often, he wastes valuable review space to argue against the MPAA and its rating systems. (See his Bring It On review.)

"As for Richard Roeper, while it’s true that he knows little to nothing when it comes to film criticism or film history, I find his laid-back approach somewhat refreshing. He has a great, wry sense of humor that he has carried over from his column. I liken his selection to that of Dennis Miller for Monday Night Football; he's a smart man who's there to lighten things up with his 'regular guy' mentality. His taste, though, is very questionable, as is apparent in his glowing reviews of The Watcher, Bring It On, The Contender, and most recently, Blair Witch 2."

-- Chris Wells

And B -- just B -- was kind enough to respond to a few of the questions I posted in Tuesday's Civilian Voices. Here are his answers, along with a few questions of his own...

"1. Is the Blair Witch sequel one of the worst movies of all time? No. I cannot in good stead call it a movie; it is a misbegotten marketing ploy. Battlefield Earth at least had Travolta fighting to make it for the last 15 years. Dedication, development, torture: now that is a movie.

"2. It is good to see American Psycho and Christian Bale's performance on so many lists. I know I sent in my Top 2 1/2 a while ago, but I should have mentioned American Psycho, since it was the only English-language release of the first six months that proved really enjoyable. (Lots of similarities to Fight Club, great dark humor, and a defining moment courtesy of Chloë Sevigny and Mary Harron that delivers the message in a clear, devastating manner.

"3. Yeah, I felt like trash after watching Erin Brockovich. It was an inappropriate mixture of Robin Hood and Rocky, and its action was limited to door-to-door polling. The key is everyone must doubt Erin's can-do; everyone must eventually side with her; she brings down the bad guys; and she delivers big, fat checks to the poor so that her boy can see what she was fighting for. 'I wanted to help this woman who had lost both her breasts and her husband to Chrome 6 -- weep -- for 20 million dollars!' And that tear-jerking finale when she cuts down her employer for short-changing her and then realizes she's filthy rich: values! Watch Silkwood.

"So here's a little challenge of my own: who to pick for the best performances of the year? Chloë Sevigny, Christian Bale, Julia Roberts? And what is the best laughably, insanely bad movie you have ever seen? For me, the prize goes to Ricochet. It only lacks 'These Boots Were Made for Walking' on the soundtrack. Simply see the movie to KNOW laughably bad."

--B

Excellent topics B. So give him some answers, people. Who would you say has given the best performance of the year so far? And what is the most laughably bad movie you have ever seen? Also, what are your picks for the must-see movies of November and December? What do you think of the trailers for The Grinch? Unbreakable? The Legend of Bagger Vance? Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon? Also, if anyone wants to say a few words about the late Steve Allen, I'd be happy to post them.

 

 


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