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Hope
everyone had a happy Halloween. I failed to win my apartment building's
annual pumpkin-carving contest and must admit that I am devastated.
Thank goodness you guys sent in great e-mails to make my life
worth living again. Joe from Chicago starts us off
with something really scary...
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"You know what
I think is scary? I think that one-eyed, screaming Civilian
Voices logo thing is scary. I'm having nightmares that that
thing is under my bed and trying to get me."
--Joe Greenia
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You're not
just paranoid Joe, the one-eyed CV is watching
you. One of our other readers is terribly terrified of Halloween.
Token doesn't share the same fear...
"I just read
that someone wrote that the scariest movie of all time is Halloween.
Is it just me, or is that movie completely overrated? It is
awful. No scares, no acting, nothing. Just a typical 1970s horror
movie, and it is garbage."
--Token
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Would you
agree with Token? Is Halloween overrated, or is it one
of the scariest flicks of all time? Send me your thoughts for the next
Civilian Voices.
Seems like
Roger Ebert just can't catch a break here at Civilian Voices.
Chris, a Chicago native, sides with the Ebert bashers in his
e-mail...
"I agree that
Mr. Ebert has gone off his rocker in recent years, just as Siskel
strayed off into oblivion (in terms of his reviews, that is)
in his final year. Ebert has been falling for the pretty movies
-- Strange Days, Dark City, The Cell, Spawn
-- despite a traditional dislike for them in the past (i.e.,
his two-star review of Brazil).
"He has turned
into an empty critic who likes films based solely on certain,
superficial aspects. For example, a thumbs-up for The Nutty
Professor 2 because of Eddie Murphy's performance,
despite the shabbiness of the script and direction. He didn't
like Erin Brockovich because of Julia Roberts's
wardrobe, and Gladiator didn't work for him because the
effects looked too cheap. In the reviews of both of these movies,
he barely touches on components like the scripts or performances.
He finds something to like or dislike and singles it out.
"His reviews
have become extraordinarily vacuous and meaningless. (Look no
further than his reviews of Barenaked in America or Almost
Famous for proof.) Also, all too often, he wastes valuable
review space to argue against the MPAA and its rating systems.
(See his Bring It On review.)
"As for Richard
Roeper, while it’s true that he knows little to nothing
when it comes to film criticism or film history, I find his
laid-back approach somewhat refreshing. He has a great, wry
sense of humor that he has carried over from his column. I liken
his selection to that of Dennis Miller for Monday Night
Football; he's a smart man who's there to lighten things up
with his 'regular guy' mentality. His taste, though, is very
questionable, as is apparent in his glowing reviews of The
Watcher, Bring It On, The Contender, and most
recently, Blair Witch 2."
-- Chris Wells
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And B
-- just B -- was kind enough to respond to a few of the questions
I posted in Tuesday's Civilian Voices. Here are his answers,
along with a few questions of his own...
"1. Is the
Blair Witch sequel one of the worst movies of all time?
No. I cannot in good stead call it a movie; it is a misbegotten
marketing ploy. Battlefield Earth at least had Travolta
fighting to make it for the last 15 years. Dedication, development,
torture: now that is a movie.
"2. It is good
to see American Psycho and Christian Bale's performance
on so many lists. I know I sent in my Top 2 1/2 a while ago,
but I should have mentioned American Psycho, since it
was the only English-language release of the first six months
that proved really enjoyable. (Lots of similarities to Fight
Club, great dark humor, and a defining moment courtesy of
Chloë Sevigny and Mary Harron that delivers
the message in a clear, devastating manner.
"3. Yeah, I
felt like trash after watching Erin Brockovich. It was
an inappropriate mixture of Robin Hood and Rocky,
and its action was limited to door-to-door polling. The key
is everyone must doubt Erin's can-do; everyone must eventually
side with her; she brings down the bad guys; and she delivers
big, fat checks to the poor so that her boy can see what she
was fighting for. 'I wanted to help this woman who had lost
both her breasts and her husband to Chrome 6 -- weep -- for
20 million dollars!' And that tear-jerking finale when she cuts
down her employer for short-changing her and then realizes she's
filthy rich: values! Watch Silkwood.
"So here's
a little challenge of my own: who to pick for the best performances
of the year? Chloë Sevigny, Christian Bale,
Julia Roberts? And what is the best laughably, insanely
bad movie you have ever seen? For me, the prize goes to Ricochet.
It only lacks 'These Boots Were Made for Walking' on the soundtrack.
Simply see the movie to KNOW laughably bad."
--B
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Excellent
topics B. So give him some answers, people. Who would you say
has given the best performance of the year so far? And what is the most
laughably bad movie you have ever seen? Also, what are your picks for
the must-see movies of November and December? What do you think of the
trailers for The Grinch? Unbreakable? The Legend of
Bagger Vance? Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon? Also, if anyone
wants to say a few words about the late Steve Allen, I'd be happy
to post them.
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