When asked to write about the marketing of summer films so far this year, my initial instinct was to decline. It's unfair to criticize marketing plans that I'm certain was developed outside the control of the marketing departments. But then I caught Monday's (6/12) Liz Smith.

I don't know when--or if--I'll actually get to the requested summer analysis in this whiney bitch-fest, but I'm determined to lay some educational groundwork which might help the reader understand some of the dynamics involved in marketing films.

Liz's nationally syndicated column talked about Shanghai Noon and its director, Tom Dey, who went on record in Entertainment Weekly to place the blame for his film's underperformance on the marketing department and the mistakes they made during release. One mistake mentioned was the failure to showcase/exploit the proper emotional nuance among the many in the film's richly textured narrative. Liz sympathized.

Did it ever occur to Mr. Dey and Ms. Smith that the marketing kicked significant butt? And I'm not one to lay praise on those in Disney's marketing machine! But since when has $42 million in less than 3 weeks been categorized as underperformance? If someone perceives it as such, someone hasn't done their homework.

1. With the exception of Rush Hour ($144 million, 1998), Mr. Chan's most successful U.S. release was Rumble in the Bronx, (1996) which grossed a then spectacular $34 million. His three starring vehicles that fell between Rumble and Rush did anywhere from $12 million to $15 million.

2. Rush Hour took the "disparate buddy-cop" concept to hilarious extremes, capitalizing on the two stars' vast differences and talents. Fresh air was breathed into a proven, but tired, convention. Shanghai is more of the same, only this time it's set in the Old West, which itself is a tenuous marketing hook.

3. Chris Tucker was already a huge star in several consumer groups, all of which are frequent moviegoers. Tucker developed his comic reputation on HBO, the comedy circuit and in the hit films Friday and Money Talks. Owen Wilson is a fine actor largely known for his work in smaller "Sundance-like" films. And although he was in Armageddon, I don't think they went for him alone. Call me kooky!

4. Brett Ratner is a better filmmaker. If I'm not mistaken, Shanghai Noon is the director's first film. Perhaps he should consider thanking the people who opened it to $19.7 million.

5. There are other issues, like the language problem that dogs Mr. Chan, the lack of a soundtrack that enjoyed Rush Hour's popularity and exposure and the date. Perhaps given some of its hurdles to overcome, Shanghai should have seen a less competitive release date. Who knows? (Besides Liz!)

Liz ends her column by donning her best Norma Rae, holding up the "First Cut on Trailers" sign outside of the DGA! Stick to gossip. Or better yet, take time to learn something. It's not the marketing department's fault. The film cost too much. If it's not profitable, the blame should be placed elsewhere.

Marketing films can be a complex dance that has many partners. Each partner, however, has a marketing opinion. And they'll express it at the most inopportune time. Entire campaigns--and hundreds of thousands of dollars--have gone by the wayside because the studio chief's 12-year-old son (or his maid) didn't like the poster.

"They don't get it!" Panic sets in. "Your years of business school and your impressive resume of successes BE DAMNED! Phil, the guard at the front gate, says that he'll wait for the video! CHANGE EVERYTHING!!! Die! Die!! Die!!!

The average U.S. moviegoer sees five movies per year. The "frequent moviegoer" attends slightly more than one movie a month. The industry releases around 3 to 5 films every weekend, including exclusive and specialized releases. By overpopulating the marketplace, the film industry has put the consumer in a position of power--the power to choose.

Entertainment choices have increased exponentially. Anything providing entertainment is a viable competitor to moviegoing. Many U.S. households get 50-plus TV/cable channels, many of which now offer original programming. Video, laser discs and DVDs are cheaper than ever and are readily available. Plus, they now offer exciting "extra values," such as filmmaker commentary and exclusive interviews. These entertainment alternatives vie for the consumer's attention, hoping to rise above the clutter to win some piece of the leisure time pie.

Then, there's the Internet. The 12 to 24-year-old "frequent moviegoer," who serves as the industry's backbone--especially during summer playing time--spends 1 to 2 hours a day on the computer. Chat rooms, financial advice/transactional sites, gaming and original Web programming combine to make the Internet a multiplex at the consumer's fingertips.

And today's moviegoer is smarter about the movies than ever. They're exposed to a mind-boggling amount of entertainment news/info from a growing population of specialized venues. Magazines, TV shows, Web sites and cable networks make it their job to provide entertainment news. The result is a smarter, savvier and highly cynical shopper who enjoys the power of choice. They scrutinize each release, even those featuring their favorite stars, asking "Why should I choose you over the others opening this weekend? I haven't even seen last weekend's films. Or the weekend's before that!"

With all the players involved in film, it gets harder and harder to develop and protect the plan necessary to make a film work. And that's if everyone's definition of "working" is the same. Directors, producers, stars, agents, managers, studio heads, publicists, lawyers, production executives and Liz Smith all have opinions and ideas for marketing a film. Some of them are good. But negativity and second-guessing can only be counterproductive.

But ultimately, I'm just bitching. Go write your column, Liz. And leave us alone!

Chris Pula's Ten Commandments of Marketing

1. Ask who the film is made for. Don't sell it to everybody at the same time or with the same materials. Trying to please everybody might please nobody.

2. Get the "hottest" audience in there first. They'll spread the word of mouth that will facilitate growth.

3. Just because a film might get universal rave reviews does not mean it will be a financial smash. Reviews don't translate to grosses for every film.

4. Hot stars exist on various radar screens. Use them properly.

5. The concept should have top billing or at least co-star status.

6. Derivative is the kiss of death! Give me a modicum of originality to exploit.

7. Keep an eye on conceptual flaws that might alienate the very consumer you're trying for.

8. As a rule, people don't like to pay $8 (or $9 or $10) to feel bad. This doesn't mean, however, that everything has to have a traditional "Hollywood ending."

9. Exercise financial prudence. If the core audience can't support the negative cost, stop.

10. The consumer is in control. They're smart from coast to coast and not just in the "fly over" states between NYC and LA--everywhere! They know all the tricks. They know the warning signs of an iffy film. They can smell a dog from 10 miles away!

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